Why have you been so irritable lately?

 Why have you been so irritably lately? I don’t understand! I’m worried about you! You need to get over yourself, because you are too much drama and you are stressing us out!

I am irritable because I do believe everyone is talking about me behind my back and making jokes to my face and behind my back! Don’t break the 4th Wall right? Don’t ever be honest with me about what you are all thinking and saying about me behind my back! We are done with being good family members and friends! This is just too much for us to handle! The man from college who came out of the woodwork because he is in love with you. The newfound notoriety that came as a result of this scandalous love triangle that came along with him. Everyone I know is lying to me and no one is helping to comfort me about what is really going on with me. Everyone’s jealousy and inability to feel empathy is becoming more and more apparent. You all want to deflate my ego and put me back in my place! What the F is so goddamn funny? You are not funny, at all! You are just mean and annoying! Why do you get a kick off on annoying me? I proclaimed here, before Trey even got the nerve to leave his wife, that we already needed couples therapy. Like the 10 year hesitation still gets to me. How severe are my mental health issues and can you accept them as they are? What is your threshold for the level of stress that you will come with me into your life? Will you welcome everything about me and my inner circle into your life? Do I have to step it up, in order for this union to become reality? Do I have to weight? I am convinced that me moving back in with my family and gaining all the weight back keep Trey at bay for years! His wife didn’t want kids! She never gained weight! She was there for him whenever he wanted her. I suspect he wants to make sure that I will always appreciate him and act appropriately with him and not embarrass or disrespect him. (After all he has done for me) ? Don’t take things so personally, right? Because that’s a drag to be called out for the things I say and do that mess with me. I do think you are messing around a lot right now, but you want to play it off, gaslight, so you never have to hear about it. I need to be perfect to show you that I am up to your standards and worth it? At the same time, I feel like you have been acting like a sneaky, immature asshole. I don’t get it. The man I wanted to marry in college, low key felt the same way (kind of), but wanted to put me on hold for 10 years or so. He didn’t keep in touch then he got pissed when I tried to move on and get married? How should I have known your intentions? Should I even regret moving past you? You eventually decided to check me out, before ever seriously stepping up to the plate. You have been married this whole time, but have been traveling down here from Santa Cruz, behind his wife’s back, throughout your entire marriage! And she is livid with me?! What? You are the perfect choice of person to ruin my life! After all this time, you started making motions to set things up, so we could be together. Like monitoring me from a distance, talking to everyone I know, including my female friends and family, (and my brother who I am pissed at too) instead of me. Creating a Truman show effect to my life. You are already talking to my girlfriends (about me) but not me? You are an asshole! You want to feel me out and mess with me, to see how angry I get. You are trying to make me jealous and see my reaction which  is just straight up mental abuse. “I’m just teasing you!”  I want you to know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of anger, narcissistic manipulation, and abuse. Good to know! I am not a lab rat, 🐀 who has no control over my circumstances and can be manipulated into different situations, to see their reactions! I should just use my notoriety to run off with the hottest and best guy I can find. You are already trying to portray yourself as Mr. Sensitivity, sweet, and romantic, to all the women I know. You are clearly bullshitting all of them, so I can never turn to them when things get tough. Zero sympathy will emit from these women, I know. They are already jealous. Is my friend/sibling trouble, my fault?  They are all lying to me and withholding information.  I will never trust anyone again because of you!! Having random women drive past me with you, to make me jealous, is so F’d  up! I don’t think you have even filed for divorce, but you are already down here and (probably) dating random, local women. You want me to think that, at least. You get off on making me jealous. No man is worth ruining your own life for, even it’s Mr good looking blonde surfing doctor who you went to college with!

You say religion, I say heresy!

 Maeve’s sister recently left for a trip to Italy. Arrivaderci to you! What? You couldn’t take your sister with you? At first, when I saw her post, I was like “Hmm typical post from them, bragging about being world travelers, because they were born with silver spoons in their mouths.” Then  my thinking process evolved to, “They always direct some sort of negative energy back at me because I am 1/2 Italian and have never traveled to Italy myself. Good for you! They are spoiled brats and I don’t understand how other people tolerate the constant bragging about their trips, their workouts, and being “fashionistas.” Like really, did you just call yourself that? More like label whores and clothes horses. Today it crossed my mind, that knowing these two and their families, they are probably heading to Sicily to learn about Sicilian witchcraft or “La stregodera.” It’s always an education in witchcraft, for them. What an interesting hobby! Let’s go to any country that has hints of witchcraft, in their history. Let’s chat up the locals and hopefully learn from the masters, right?

I don’t think you need any more help with your witchcraft. Your Santeria is working wonders for you! Everyone is talking about all of the nasty tricks that you pull on me. They are impressed that Evil E can pull this off from so far away. He is back living in Venezuela? 

I do not understand how Santeria got legal protection, as a religion! What a joke! You say religion, I say heresy! Getting revenge on your enemy is not in the Catholic tradition. We refute your claims of being derived from our religion. Catholicism rebukes you and we really have no idea what you are talking about! In this regard, I do wonder, are we being too liberal and politically correct with this? There is harmful magic at play here. Why are we deeming this as acceptable or as a valid religion that we should respect their differences? If my experience can be proven somehow, I would love to bring awareness to the fact that Santeria hexes can inflict harm.  Hopefully, we can change how the American legal system handles Santeria hexes and bring justice to anyone who has suffered at the hands of witches. I mean, a lot of you may cast spells and things like that, but nothing happens because you don’t know what you’re doing. On the other hand, the ones who are enmeshed with that world, because that’s their families legacy, I am scared of you! I am watching you (my enemies) right back and I hope you get punished for this. I sometimes wish for you to step up your harassment to another level of crazy. Be bolder, Evil E! Using me to randomly talk smack to people is a sucker punch, a wimp move. Have the b-s to say it to their faces.

Also, it’s not outside the realm of possibility, that you have done worse things in the world, with the help of your magic. We may not know everything that you are up to and we may have no proof yet, but hopefully we soon will! Any proof of that would really help my case! Fingers crossed that we get the proof that we need to, at the very least, end this weird harassment soon!

In 2017

 I believe it was 2017 when I first met my good friend who I often go to the Leucadia/El Camino Real Starbucks with. I was sitting outside with her, discussing my situation with her, when this truck pulls up that says Psycho Surf on it. I recognized the surf sponsor because Evil E had their sticker on his surfboard in a picture.. E generated interest from sponsors and was sponsored for a while possibly. He said that he was sponsored by Keagan’ who I never even heard of but that’s ok. Anyway, not sure if he was actually sponsored by Paycho Surf ever. But when I saw the truck I impulsively yelled out to the two guys in the truck. I yelled, “Hey, do you know E. U? They were hesitant to answer but I yelled at them anyway “He’s hexing me!” They looked at eachother questioning and wondering if I was just crazy. Then I yelled. “Hex?” They just drove away without responding. Some other surfer looking guy looked at me like I was so fucked up for doing that. He said to me, “Wow! Shots fired!?” It had been three years since I felt first messed with and I still felt like shit so I really did not care. I believed that what I was saying was true and I wanted to get E back. I also wanted help for my situation. I think a police car was facing us watching everything go down. I could be wrong though. That Starbucks was great for awhile, because the Sheriffs used to sit outside in a huge pack drinking coffee. I don’t know if they noticed me or even knew who I was. Their presence was coincidental probably. As far as I know, E no longer surfs for Paycho Surf. I hope that I ensured that he never got signed in. Like everyone is letting me know, karma is a bitch. He got his just dessert. It goes both ways. I think I am the victim in this story. Other people think it is the U family whose name I smeared needlessly, preventing them from thriving in the US. They seem to be Venezuela elite anyway, like they are rich and famous. I do get the impression that they love their lives in Venezuela. They have plenty of money. Everyone there is enamored with them.They have beautiful beaches and hiking. They have a million toys. They have each other! They have it all in  Venezuela, so it does not matter one bit that they that they somehow ended up back there. They love the sympathy that they are getting though and it is probably due a lot their own spin that they put out there anyway. I am the evil one who is making too big a deal about nothing or what I deserved at least. It also shifts the focus away from the possibility that they did something wrong in the US. They hope that no one catches on that they might be avoiding questioning and  possible punishment for something.

Ghost Song

Evil E is so good at f-ing with people so it is noticeable to his target and virtually nobody else. He gets into mischief that there are no established laws for and therefore cannot be proved at all really. Since the beginning of time, when has anyone been able to prove that an enemy targeted them with a malicious spell that hurt them or even killed then. Never! He is just talking shit for the most part, whenever and as much as he wants, but that’s not even a crime…yet.

Evil E is back in Venezuela. It appears to be very wealthy part of Venezuela that I never knew about. I never knew a thing about Venezuela, since coming across this family. I have at least googled Venezuela, by now, and pay attention anytime I hear anything about Venezuela on the news. Like any country, I am sure they have very wealthy cities and very wealthy families. E- is in that world, I think. He brags on Instagram like anyone else. A lot of his posts mimic the MTv show cribs, where famous people show off their homes and rides. E told me that they were rich like that a long time ago. I believe it. I think they are possibly a little famous in Venezuela. E is like a model/celebrity who people take professional pictures of when he surfs/rides motorcycles etc. The fame and the money give him power and privilege to get away with a lot of shit unfortunately. I don’t think the police or government of Venezuela gives a damn about what he is doing to me in the US. They don’t know and don’t care. It is how E told me it was, in the US. “The police don’t have the wherewithal to handle a situation like this!” He is better off in Venezuela, as he could never get extradited for this. He didn’t kill anyone, so I am stuck with him. He just shit talks to me (whenever he wants) manipulates me and embarrasses me, for amusement.

I was watching one of E’s stories and he was bragging about his life and leisure on the sand in Venezuela. He played this Jim Morrison song which f-d with me. It said something about hearing voices. I read into everything too much. I guess it’s my fault for looking at his stupid public instagram. He tries to make himself look, likable, busy doing his thing, and loving on his family. There is nothing about  using Santeria to get where he is in life or being open to that for the sake of revenge. You could never tell that he would need to do that or be willing to do that either. He portrays this privileged guy who is just so rich. He enjoys his life. He has every toy he could ever want. He is low key famous and people want to know everything that he is doing. People want to be like him too.  I think a lot of people in the US, and around me locally, wish they had the magical powers to F- with people for fun, for protection, and for revenge. Many people are so amused by my situation. Am I getting my just dessert? I never even touched the man! Usually that happens at some point, before the rage and revenge begins. We have never chatted in person and I have never had his phone number. It’s all my fault though. Everything is my fault. I don’t think anyone ever hexed Trey.  He probably still doesn’t even believe me ,which is why he never left Maeve or tried to help me for 10 years now.

Maybe it is just a “midlife crisis,,” as Evil E has said a million times. I do have psychosis. Just yesterday I was tripping out because I thought I sw John Densmore driving past me. Then I thought, wait, no, isn’t he dead already? My mind plays tricks on me all the time, in addition to my haters and Stans all around me who intentionally mess with me. 

Good morning to you too!

 Maeve: All you ever do is complain and steal other women’s husbands! That’s the consensus from the women in your neighborhood. You have a great life. You have a life of leisure. You are getting your nails done on Veterans Day! The seasalt deluxe pedicure because your life is so stressful! You work so hard! You deserve a break today! It’s all about you on Veteran’s Day!  Thanks for nothing! People hate you, so be forewarned!

Alice’s Italian Restaurant was closed tonight

 So I ate at the crappy, downgrade restaurant next door called Forchettaboutit. My daughters always look at the menu beforehand to decide if they want to eat there, and decide what they want to eat. So we were all set. We were going to Forchettaboutit to eat. When we walked through the door, the waitress told us that all of their indoor, empty tables were unavailable. “You will have to sit outside” she said. What? I asked her, if there were heat lamps outside and she groaned and said yes, but they aren’t on. Then she shrugs her shoulders and says, “Ok, I will turn them on.”  Like it’s such a burden on her.  It’s not like she had to find  a match to light it either. She literally walked over, flipped a switch, and left. This bitch. I was pissed off, while we were there. That party of 4, in the second picture, walked in later. I don’t think it was a “we didn’t have a reservation” situation because I don’t think this dive, hole-in-the-wall, restaurant requires reservations. Business is spotty and they usually have plenty of room. Maybe their shitty employees are the reason why. On the way home, I was venting more vocally, in front of my daughters, which is always a mistake. Sophia can tune me out and she doesn’t think about it too hard. But me pointing out that I was upset and offended, by our treatment at the restaurant, made Olivia cry. Then I started crying. She said, “Does everyone hate me? Maybe we had to sit outside because they didn’t want people with Autism inside?”

I want to start off saying that I hate the flack people get for saying reverse racism. Ok, I will say that what I experienced was racism from Mexican and Latin American folks, who probably side with Evil E and his family. What? You don’t believe me? The story that I am putting out there, into the universe, is totally racist? Ok, if it’s not true, blaming what I am hearing on an innocent family from Venezuela, is racist. Indeed, I acknowledge that. I still think it is happening, unfortunately no one is opening their mind up to that possibility or they think that I am a home wrecker, who deserves to be hexed. The family at the long table against the wall, looked possibly Venezuelan, possibly related to E, so that would explain the bad vibes directed at me. But if these people didn’t know me, this is racism, on their part. A lot of assumptions were made about me, at first glance, tonight. Many people are totally fucking with me right now. They are being cruel to me. Body shaming me. Trying every way possible to upset me. If people think the can get away with it, they go for it. They fuck with me, as much as they think they can get away with. It’s fucked up! I take everything that’s happening to me very personally. It’s a huge insult. Everyone trying to mess with my mind, shows their own cruelty. Yes, in the words of Das Efx, “Why is everybody always picking on me?” Mexican American and Latin American people are picking on me the most. I just want you to know.  You are not helping me like you. Many of you are cool and not trying to insult, offend, or mess with me. Say it in Spanish, at least, because I don’t understand what you are saying. The evil witch cackles from inside the restaurant though. They want ME to feel racism and discrimination, firsthand. This is their fully intentional motivation. Why me, though? Why is everyone targeting me? I don’t get it. I am not MAGA Republican racist. I don’t think that I am any more racist than the people who hate me are. I’m pretty cool, but to each their own. I can’t control what you think. They were even acting scared of me. If I sit inside the restaurant, with other people, will that injure or bother the other customers too much? Am I the OG Carlsbad Karen? How did I become the face of racism in Carlsbad? There really is no sympathy or compassion, for my situation. My girls suffered because people hate me. They have colds. I don’t think they coughed, that one second, that we were in the restaurant. I don’t think the decision was made as a Covid precaution. My daughters have Autism. There was no sympathy and no remorse from anyone there either. I’m not the type of bitch to complain to the owner. I’m not going to write a fucked up Yelp review, but Fuck you Forchettaboutit! I will not be back! (Or dining in, at least. Because we liked the food, you know?)

*** I know sitting outside is not the end of the world, but we usually sit inside, especially at night, when it’s cold, and my kids already have colds. We just gave the girls Covid tests this morning and the results are negative for Covid, as we thought.

Joke of the day

 They say that the economy is going to be so much better once Donald Trump is back in office.

Yeah, I hear oven makers are going to make a killing.

Between every demonized race and ethnic group, people with disabilities and mental handicaps, the mentally ill, people who are overweight, every Democrat (especially if they are outspoken) We are really going to need a lot more ovens and big ones. I have mental illness and I am obese. I’m sure there are other qualifiers, according to MAGA. I am not currently having sex with my any heterosexual white man, so what good am I? I am a goner! Make room in the oven for me!

Ultimately, if America became an all white society, people would start to see ethnic differences, among all the white European Americans here. The remaining inhabitants of America would then turn on each other . That sounds fun. MAGA is moving America towards extinction, not greatness. Let’s kill ourselves off, why don’t we? Hopefully,  Donald Trump and his cronies are just bluffing and trying to get a rise out of us. Hopefully, someone stops Donald Trump and RFK Jr. etc. Hopefully, they never have the power to do all the horrible things they promised to do while campaigning.