Resolutions for 2025

 When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, I resolve to be more conscious about this tradition.. I don’t want to overshoot promises that I will never be able to achieve or stick to. Inevitably I will probably fall into feelings of failure because yet again, I cannot not uphold my New Years Resolutions.  I am almost afraid to put it out there because New Years Resolutions are kind of a setup to embarrass and mess with your mind later on. I already have Evil E for that! I resolve to be more aware and grateful to the people who help me in my journey. I know my family and friends care about me and help me in overt and covert ways, consciously and unconsciously.

Today I remembered a memory that I had buried somehow, about  10 years ago. There s always the possibility that my brain invented my whole hexing story, but I would like to thank law enforcement and I also believe that my family friends who are members of a local Native American tribe are helping me. I dont want to mention any names, as they deserve privacy. If the police heard the voices of the individuals hexing me, it may have been a blunder from my enemies, or maybe the reason the voices were audible to others and not merely in my head, was with the help of my family friends. If you have been helping me, I don’t deserve your kindness but I am so grateful for your kindnesss! I will be eternally grateful! One time Evil E observed what I was doing and who I was asking for help from and he told me that “Shamanism has got nothing on Santeria, so it would do no good to ask for the help of a Shaman.” It’s not a competition. I am still very ignorant to both of those religions, but I believe that both religions hold a lot of meaning and power for its practitioners. I aspire to be more respectful and understanding of all religions, even the ones who challenge my beliefs or may appear very different from the religion I was raised in.

I have been asking for prayers and for general help with this situation, in my life. I want help from all those who can help me. It would be wise for me to not make such public comments and jokes on TikTok about our president-elect and his cabinet. The wise thing to do would be to keep my political beliefs, anger, and disagreement to myself.  I don’t want to upset people who could help me. You never know someone who may have the ability to help me might have voted for Donald Trump and holds many of the same political beliefs close to their heart. I should stop making political statements and jokes because I want DT to help me if he had some sway and it were up to him. It would be perfect if he didn’t turn the whole situation into a giant immigration “I told you so.” But I peg DT for doing just that unfortunately. 99.5 % of Mexicans and Latin American immigrants do not practice Santeria. I don’t know actual facts but no one really does so believing him is racism or ignorance at the very least. Evil E claims to be a “Mastermind of Santeria,” but who else has been found to do that? If I weren’t being personally being harmed by Evil E, (or merely convinced that he is doing this) then I wouldn’t give a rip, if he practiced Santeria or not. I feel like this man could be doing other illegal things and that he is a menace to society, with not enough to do in his life. Of course, I may never get confirmation that my suspicions are valid and I will forever be branded a racist Carlsbad Karen. Time will tell if any of his misdeeds can be proven and prosecuted. I am manifesting much progress for my criminal case in 2025! Praying had!! 🙏 

I have been shadow banned

 I have been shadow banned from posting any comments about Donald Trumps haircut on TikTok so I will leave my comments here on Blogger.. First I must say,Donald didn’t really get a haircut, it was a toupee cut. He got a new toupee which is trying to make it look a bit like a mullet and as if he could get a little growth down the back of his neck if he wanted it. Ok

You have no balls really!

 You are more afraid of Evil E than I am and he probably isn’t bothering you at all. You are not in a place to make jokes. Why are you making fun of me? This whole passive aggressive “showing me how I am treating others” and “giving me a taste of my own medicine” is just vindictive psychological emotional abuse. Maybe I did create this fantasy that you were this perfect sweet model mate. You are doing a great job of shattering the positive mental image that I had of you. Why you are doing this, I have no idea! Why are you being so mean and secretive? I am not that way. Are you still pissed off by something that happened during college days? We were basically just acquaintances and you shared nothing about yourself with me that I can remember. I filled in the blanks with inaccuracies. I also do not remember having sex with you. Was it good for you? It was good enough to leave your wife for me and forgettable for me apparently. Are you just this mean, condescending, vain Leo? I am just putting this all together now. You get a kick out of making me jealous. You are an asshole! I know you slept with my roommate Karen behind my back in college. Who’s next? You ruined everything!! Crash and burn! Since you’re down here, keep up torching any chance with me. I’m going to a bar this weekend with my “friends.” Be so jealous. Why my “friends” or “family” would speak to you, much less hang out with you, behind my back, boggles my mind. You are all penis, no balls! Have fun with whatever ho you pick up!

*** I am not giving you the out of Evil E is hexing you which is why you are mentally messing with me. This is coming from you, Trey. You are stalking me. I need a restraining order. You have already broken the ice with my female friends. Good luck with them. You are a walking or drive by red flag. You are still too immature for me. You are too slow for me. My instinct is to run from you. The fact that you married a witch shows your lack of good judgment and good vetting for someone with good morals and who isn’t vengeful. You have been vengeful to me since I got married in 2004. You have been driving down to Carlsbad since before then actually. You knew my address and phone number probably but never thought to contact me that way? Weird! This is your fault anyway. I do believe traveling down to Carlsbad was just a revenge tactic. Look at me! I surf! I’m still thin! I’m here in the flesh! But here’s my wife! I “am living my best life!” Sorry! I do think your social media poses were just that …poses. What a two faced liar, you are! You have been so secretive to your wife and to me! You have always been that way though. Say as little as you can, to keep them guessing. To keep them confused about your flaws and the things you do behind your partners back. On top of how your wife’s family is hexing me, you being an asshole, your lack of sympathy, your stalking and snooping, your laughing in my face and head games have obliterated any chance you ever had with me. I don’t even know why I am wasting my time typing this all out. You are really inspiring me to remain celibate. I do not need your b.s. You have brought nothing but trouble and tears into my life!

Blogger> Reddit

 I love posting on Blogger! If anyone is reading this, I do appreciate that you never post some negative, messed up comments here. Blogger may be filtering out all the mean trolls out of the comments. I appreciate either scenario because I just want to keep telling my story here. I posted my same story, in short form, on Reddit and every kind of judgemental troll came out of the woodwork, to call me a liar and a home wrecker etc etc etc. There are a slew of anonymous Aholes on Reddit. I already know that alot of people are just making up stories on “Am I the ahole?  Or any of the Anonymous confessional subreddits. Like I know you just made that up! The responses are lies too, I bet. This anonymous woman posted this story about the time she came home from the gym, without letting her husband know, and she found him watching cartoons while wearing an adult diaper on and with pacifier in his mouth? There is a slim chance that is a legitimate story, but I don’t think so. Anyway, on the Paranormal subreddit, it explicitly states that this is a safe space for open minded and nonjudgmental people to read and share their  paranormal experiences . I was reading through other ghost stories and stuff. People were replying, “Yes I grew up in a family of witches, and I have seen some things.”  “I’m from  Venezuela and witchcraft is a huge issue there.” No one really wants to believe my story  though. It’s not a pretty story, with a clear cut hero or victim. Everyone gets hurt in this. It’s just complicated.  I can definitely tell the people who are judging me to the point that they think that I deserved the hex. Why are all the cynical naysayers popping off on my post though? They believe in aliens, but not the possibility that magic can manifest good and bad things?  The judgmental haters yesterday, reminded me of all the people who were applauding Luigi for shooting the healthcare CEO.  “It’s the principle! He’s bringing awareness to all of the greed and corruption in healthcare, so his actions were for a good cause!”  People who take the side of the posters “villain” or “enemy “ are just trolls. The mistake I made yesterday was getting upset and commenting back to everyone who s- on my post yesterday. They may have just been bored and doing that weird role play thing people doo online.  Reddit sucks!

God Isn’t My Co-Pilot

 At least God wasn’t in the drivers seat today. He may have been watching from a distance though. It felt more like the devil was my pilot there for a second. Evil E took the wheel away from me today for a minute. It’s one of those sneaky things that he does against my will, if he sees an opportunity and thinks he can get away with it.  I was driving with my daughters out to Oceanside. We were going to drive out to Kohls in San Marcos. The freeway was jam packed so we got off at the next exit. (Poinsettia Ln) I realized I was in the wrong lane and I wanted to take Paseo Del Norte. I said that out loud so it was clear that would have been better. Then I figured, I can just drive up to Aviara parkway and take it to Palomar Airport to get to El Camino Real. I knew the alternate way to go to get to the 78. I think I left my body for a second when the light turned green. Evil E grabbed the wheel and yanked me into the turn lane to turn left when there were other cars there. I didn’t even realize what was happening until it happened. I almost hit other cars in the turn lane.  I feel like Evil E did that though. It wasn’t me. It was so weird!  But again because I said out loud that I wanted to go that way, It looked like I was going to break the law and do something reckless to get my way. I was going to do whatever the hell I wanted to do. He does like to blame his impatience, temper, and selfishness on me. That’s Evil E in a nutshell. I definitely feel and experience all of those emotions naturally too. He is trying still to paint me as this ruthless careless home wrecker. This all began because Trey was thinking about me and wanting to see me. He was distracted from his wife from nothing I did to trigger that. It was just memories and experiences from college days. When he would come down here with Maeve to visit her crazy cousins, he was obviously tempted to go drive past me while he was down here. Everyone thinks that I am lying. I have not touched or talked to this man since college. I am not withholding anything  here  either. You can’t believe that a man would leave his wife without having an affair first? I should have told him years ago what they were doing. He obviously didn’t care enough to leave her and his family still doesn’t care about her being a witch. Treys sister thinks it’s “cool.” Is Maeve so cool for pulling off this hex for 10 years and no one has ever been able to stop her? Love spells obviously don’t work. I knew he was going to leave eventually. It was only a matter of time. Why go to the extreme to keep someone who didn’t want to stay? She never hexed him. She was playing Miss Perfect to him and to everyone she knew. Wow! I should have told him the deal 10 years ago! We could have gotten this show on the road sooner! I wonder if she’s hexing him now that he’s left her? Crazy!

Flashback

 I overheard a conversation where two men were discussing how things were so carefree in college. A lot of college students are being completely financially supported by their parents. Life was good. I remember. The kids from Northern California were supposedly richer than the rest of us from So. Cal. Don’t remind me how easy it could be to maybe take a girl out on a date. The attempt was never made. The guys spent all of their time every day together. No one wanted to get to know me or hang out with me during the daylight sober hours. That’s for damn sure. They didn’t want any kind of relationship or monogamy. My cousin found the only good guy in Isla Vista. He let himself get committed to one woman and consequently, they fell in love. They met in college at a “party school “ and are still happily married. Romanticizing college is a huge mistake for me! The window of opportunity for rekindling anything passed long ago. Coming around and snooping through my life isn’t romantic, it’s stalking. You could have stayed in Santa Cruz for this b.s. Go jerk around someone else! You are certainly not worth the hell you are putting me through. Why are you participating in driving me crazy? You are a complete asshole! Truly! I would never want someone I was even dating casually to hang around with female “friends.” Do you really need to be friends with random women or other female friends and family members of mine? I would never let you do that if I could control it. You keep pushing the issue. The answer is no already. If you want to date multiple women at once and have female friends, you will not be at all involved with me. That’s it. You should respect that, instead of trying to make me jealous or whatever the hell you are doing. You must be paying these women, like prostitutes, to drive around with you in order to make me jealous.. I’m done with you, before it even began. Pointless! I should be dating other people myself. Holding out hope for you has been a huge waste of a large chunk of my life! Of course I attempted to move on and get married? You needed to keep in touch with me directly, not keep in touch with my brother or with some person I am no longer in touch with or some acquaintance you pump for information about me. You are scarier and even more conniving than I have ever admitted to myself or told you. You still don’t have the balls to approach me, but you would get an earful if you did. I don’t need to engage with you though. At this point, a restraining order would be more appropriate. Evil E is definitely a huge problematic asshole of a person, but what about you? What have you brought into my life, besides irritation, stress, and psychological torment? You are definitely tormenting me too, Trey! Driving past me so many times gave me false hope that consequently ruined my life!

You had a wife there for a minute. Sure, I was jealous because you finally grew up and were a picture perfect seemingly great husband to your wife. (In pictures, at least) I convinced myself  you were so perfect.  I was bitter about everything…and you said you were “still living your best life.” Good for you! But you really weren’t a great husband if you had a seriously distracting wandering eye. Quit trying to prove how imperfect you are, so I lower my expectations of you. I refuse to get involved with someone who manipulates my emotions, to see how I react. Between you and Evil E, I am an angry, mixed up mess! Thanks for that.

*** I bet this is one of Evil Es favorite movies, Friday. Evil E is very intimidating. You definitely believe that he could definitely follow through with his physical threats,.  Evil E just like Big Worm. I feel the same way though, in regards to, don’t play with my emotions, Trey and his entire social circle including his crazy in-laws. Evil E knows how much he hates being messed with, yet he messes as hard as he can and still get away with it. He is a thug and not in a cool movie star way. He should be locked up but this asshole is posting in his instagram stories looking free as a bird, riding his bike through the jungles of Venezuela or whatever. Have a nice trip, asshole! When the man I endured all of this demonic hell for, drives past me, like a vindictive confused messed up stalker, it only adds to my stress and paranoia levels. I know that getting involved with me would be a huge commitment and involve a lot more serious work than your previous carefree child free marriage has been, but you are already holding that over my head. I am interested in taking on you and your kids, aren’t I so great? You should be sooo grateful! Leave me alone…seriously!

What a year 2024 has been!

 I think this year is ending slightly better than it began, which is a relief for me.