Paying it forward

 A few months ago, I found a fat wallet with money just spilling out of it at Vons in my shopping cart so I did the right thing and gave it to the store manager. As tempting as it was, I did not keep and certainly did not take or spend any of the money. Two weeks later I go to sit down on a chair at Starbucks and I literally sat on a wallet. I gave it to the Starbucks manager to handle. I thought that was a good move. During this pandemic I also was treated by a stranger to Starbucks and now Jack in the Box. Last weekend someone in front of me took a long time ordering but I didn’t honk or say anything bad. When my daughters and I got to the cashier she handed my card back to me. She never charged me. By the way, I didn’t order any food for myself nor did I eat any. It was for my family. lol 

Internal confrontation about my Facebook stalking from Maeve

Maeve: Why do you stalk Treys Facebook page and wonder about his friends and life? He has a kick ass life with me in Santa Cruz. We have many great friends here. None of whom know who the hell you are and this blog is giving them bad vibes to say the least. Everyone is worried about Trey making the biggest mistake of his life with you.  I am his innocent wife who everyone loves and feels sympathy for . Meanwhile you are blasting out to the world rumors that I am a witch?! This is not a good look Chiara! Not a good look! I hate your alias by the way. Be forewarned! Our friends despise you for ruining our great marriage and stealing Trey from us. Everyone hates you, so be forewarned!

Ha

 

Pane!

 As I indulge in a buttermilk biscuit, Valentina chimes in.

Valentina: Yum! Pane! Indulge in lots of pane! I am multilingual and I speak Italian, so be forewarned!

The guilt I feel after cheating on my diet oftentimes comes in the form of voices . I know that I shouldn’t be eating bread. I guess this blog is becoming a food diary, as well.

Yes for all trippers

 You need one of these!

Comida comment

As I sat down to eat my breakfast, a voice commented on what I was doing, in Spanish.

Valentina: Comida. We are going to start speaking to you in Spanish, so be forewarned.

The problem with that is, I don’t know a lot of Spanish so I doubt this will happen excessively. I only know a few words and phrases.

Valentina:  Ha ha! You don’t know any Spanish so,  when we start speaking fluent Spanish, you will be lost and it will be proof that your voices are coming from somewhere outside your body, so be forewarned! You are clinging to the hope that you can somehow prove your voices are coming from us. You will never be able to prove a thing, so be forewarned!

Maeve: We are messing with you, by speaking Spanish to you, knowing full well, that you don’t understand a word we are saying, so be forewarned.

Where can I get one of these? I think I need one.

So, what type of instrument do you play?

The Aztec Death Whistle 

Brian Laundrie lookalike in SD?

 https://www.menshairstylestoday.com/bald-with-beard/

I saw a guy in Carlsbad who looked like the young man in hiding Brian Laundrie. Then I realized that he has a very common look. He was bald with a dark goatee when we last saw him. His common look is part of the problem. He also may have altered his appearance by now. I know that I am no help here.

Is this a coincidence?

 I did 40 wall pushups (in sets of 10) earlier today…and then I came across this article.

https://www.livescience.com/64789-pushups-men-heart-health.html#:~:text=The%20study%20tested%20the%20stamina%20of%20middle-aged%20male,who%20could%20do%20fewer%20than%2010%20push%20ups.

But what does this mean for women? I don’t think that I can do 40 in a row but I don’t really try to. 

Beautiful single-story Spanish hacienda

 https://tours.previewfirst.com/pw/1084

This is the beautiful home that San Diego is releasing our local sexually violent predator into. It is better looking than the house I personally live in and his has golf course views. Check it out! I noticed a chandelier hanging from the ceiling and a tranquil backyard water fountain as well. Why does Douglas Badger get to reside here? Seriously, I am saddened and befuddled by this turn of events.

Spider of the day September 23, 2021

 A little blurry but cool!

I am moonstruck!

When the moon hits your eye, like a great pizza pie, that’s amore! When the moon is still out in the morning, it’s so beautiful and cool!

I just have to carry on 🎶

 

Fantasy

In the fight between

Fantasy and real life

Real life always

Wins unfortunately

***Why can’t I wake up next to you?

Looking good

 He forgot to put his pants on, but looking good nonetheless!

The coffee that I need

 

Marveling at my man

 https://www.instagram.com/p/CUDwvB-Bviq/?utm_medium=copy_link

They all look like you! Blonde and beautiful!

I see it now! The Voices movie!

 …or not.

DM me!

 Does anyone over 45 years old ever get DM’s? lol Not me obviously!

A hard life

Life is hard

Speaking as a schizophrenic 

Because you can’t get

A restraining order

Against

Yourself

The Truth/The End?

Trey: My wife and I have a lot in common. She reminds me of you, as well. She is cool, like you, and has a fun attitude. But Maeve likes to go out and about with me, while you are more at home with the kids. Maeve and I have a lot of fun together. We have shared so many fun times and had so many great adventures, that I am not letting her go. I’m sorry, but it just makes more sense to me.

Valentina: Your story has major flaws in it. You don’t know us. You have never spoken to three of us, so how do you know what we are thinking or doing? You don’t! We are living our lives, a million miles away from you. Of course, Trey is not leaving Maeve for you! What did you expect?  You don’t look good on paper. You are living with your baby daddy and three children! Your life situation does not make you a hot romantic prospect, especially to Trey Sanders, so be forewarned!

Aww 🥰

 Who writes this nonsense? Seriously! 😂 

Feeling like this…

 Pablo Picasso

Relaxing on a Sunday morning

 Should I say it? Sunday funday lol

Valentina: Sunday funday? What b.s! All I have seen you do today is work…doing the dishes, doing the laundry, getting groceries, taking out the trash, sweeping the floor. Sunday funday...really?

Valentina: You’re not Cinderella, so be forewarned!

Stay in your lane

I know that 

I am an ill individual 

And that you can do so much better than me

So we should just let things be

Keep your distance 

Stay in your lane

And I will continue to stay in mine

We will move on

And be just fine 

Big smile on a Saturday evening

Poses with roses.  I love my roses🥀!

Saturday night September 18, 2021

 So Trey and Maeve just drove past me here in Carlsbad. Trey looked very handsome but unfortunately he was trying to show me that he is still with Maeve. Thank you for driving down all this way to show me that and ruin my Saturday night. Have fun on your date!

The heart of Venezuela

https://www.yahoo.com/news/rescuers-discovered-2-shipwrecked-children-161946279.html 

Valentina: Mariely Chacon represents the heart of Venezuela!  We are good people! We are strong people! We are giving people! She represents the lengths we will go to, for family. We are not witches! We are great people who do great things, hard things, for others. Be forewarned! Are you going to make a joke about the woman in this news story, for drinking her own urine? You better not, so be forewarned! You’re thinking it! This is not a joke! Be forewarned!

Horror (A poem)

Distraction is important,

Otherwise you would

Dwell on the horror

Of your situation.

***Unfortunately my favorite distraction,  keeps distracting me, from my reality, and it’s not always pleasant. I see the guy, that got away, every day and half the time he appears happy as fuck, driving around with another woman, in his passenger seat. WTH?

Great fortune!

 Unfortunately this isn’t in reality for me.

Hello Friday! September 17 2021

Maeve: This is going to drag on forever, so be forewarned! I told you once. I told you twice. I told you a thousand times that I am not letting my husband go. He will remain in my heart, in my grasp, and in my profile picture until the end of time, so be forewarned! That is something that you are just going to have to accept…and quit looking at my social media accounts. You will be better off!

Valentina: Valentina says that you are a bitch, who is delusional. Trey Sanders is not leaving his wife, so be forewarned. You want to magically receive a sign that Maeve and Trey are no longer together? Well you will never receive that sign because they are blissfully married, a million miles away from you, so be forewarned. You couldn’t screw up their marriage, if you tried. They have a rock solid marriage! You don’t have what it takes to come between them, so be forewarned!

Matteo: Yes you don’t have what it takes. You are washed up and stretched out. At least, Maeve, has never had a child, much less three. It is far too late in the game, to rekindle the flame between you and Dr. Trey Sanders, so be forewarned. Wake up and realize that you lost this game years ago. It’s over.

Maeve: Why are you talking about this online? What are you trying to say…to Trey Sanders? That things “down there” are quite the opposite? You bitch! Quit trying to send veiled messages to Trey Sanders! Be forewarned!

Later in the evening:

Maeve: People are strange! You are strange! Your blog and your writing are strange! Be forewarned!

Faux leather leggings? lol

 I may be dead meat but I will look fierce!

Heartstruck

Sometimes

You never know what you need

Until you’re struck in the heart

Waiting to bleed

Out.

I have no clue what they are talking about

 Star Trek possibly? What enterprise is he talking about?

 My friend just posted a video of him in later years making zero sense but I guess he was an intelligent guy at one point.

 

But he is for me!

 

What the hell

I think by the time

You hit 45,

You look back and think

What the hell happened?

My work history?

So they all blamed the temp (me) and managed to keep their employment intact.

Swimming (A poem)

I’m being carried along

By the tides of reality

Not really swimming

Where am I going ?

Valentina: More like drowning, right? I dare you to go into the ocean and try to swim. Ha! I will guide you. How about that? Do you trust me? You shouldn’t! I hate you, so be forewarned. You are looking for…insert fake name here. Trey Sanders hates the alias that you have chosen for him and he hates you, so be forewarned.

Maeve: He could care less about you. He is busy with me, his wife and his life in Santa Cruz. He doesn’t care enough about you, to hate you. I have done my best, through magic and other ways, to wipe his brain clean of you, so be forewarned. You are nothing more than a faint memory to him, at this point. That is how you will remain, if I have anything to do with it. I suggest you do the same, forget about Trey Sanders, and your life will be much more peaceful! 

Maeve: You have a lot of nerve, going after a married man. You are a threat to all married women, because you have no boundaries, and because you are an extremely self centered woman. You could care less about ending our beautiful union. Just go ahead and do you, bitch! Do you…and eventually…when you least expect it, karmic retribution will boomerang back at you! Ha! You can bet on that!

My first car

 The Chrysler New Yorker was the first and last talking car. It would always talk to me. “Your door is ajar.” “Your washer fluid is low.” It was the perfect car for a flaky teenager, like I was. It would nag me to do things, like fill the gas tank, while I drove. Hilarious! I would buy one for my teenager if they ever brought it back. lol 

Normal

Some days you

Feel normal

It’s the disease’s way

Of jerking you around.

Story of my life

 

       People don't know anything about themselves because they're all worried about everybody else.

Jack Johnson

I like this quote about people and their preoccupation with other people. I have no clue what is going on with me and my relationship but yours is enviable perfection. I am jealous and dreaming of being your partner in life. Can I be the woman in those photos and in that relationship?

 

Surviving Schizoaffective Disorder

 https://www.wfmz.com/features/life-lessons/tinas-story-surviving-schizoaffective-disorder/article_543cdb40-fe9e-11eb-9757-9ffe616aa609.html

Sunset over La Costa

 

Relationship advice anyone?

 

Wednesday afternoon September 8, 2021

Valentina: That’s so dumb. She couldn’t write a compelling story to save her life. Why are you posting these stories, when no one reads them or follows you? It’s so bizarre!

Maeve: I repeat what you deleted from Blogger before. Trey Sanders is Captain Save A Ho, even though you have no clue what that means, it is actually very funny…and true. Trey left his beautiful, sweet, classy wife for a ho, so be forewarned. I have been trying to tell you what he is going to expect from you. You have to compete with greatness and raise the bar sexually. Good luck with that! Be forewarned.

Maeve: Why do we keep repeating ourselves? Because it detracts anyone from wanting to read and follow your stupid blog. Be forewarned!

Matteo: Actually no, that’s not what we think of you. Your life is not that exciting. You forget that we are watching you at all times. Be forewarned!

Yes let’s talk about that college thing!

 

I feel relaxed!!

 My sister just bought me two amazing products and I wanted to share here. The blueberry kush body scrub smells so good and is sooo relaxing. I just had a wonderful bath! Then I applied a chest mask that also smells good and I am hoping will reverse my aging sun damaged chest. I highly recommend these products from Truly. Check them out!

https://www.trulybeauty.com/

Hug O’ War by Shel Silverstein

I feel like I am in a mental tug of war with a woman that I have never met. I wish it would just end.

Reading The Santa Cruz Sentinel

Maeve: Why are you reading The Santa Cruz Sentinel? Be forewarned. Are you cyberstalking Trey Sanders’ hometown? You are trying desperately to feel close to him. You are just grasping for straws here. Quit trying to spy on him! Let him enjoy his Labor Day with me! Don’t try and research Santa Cruz. There’s no point in that! You’re wasting your time!

Valentina: It’s a lost cause for you, Chiara. You closed that door a long time ago. The moment has passed and your chances with Trey Sanders are slim to none.

Chiara: So, you’re saying there’s a chance!

Maeve: I m heartbroken! Why do you keep implicating me as being the cause of your voices? Do you have no sympathy for me? My marriage is crumbling! Stop writing about me and leave me alone! Be forewarned!

Valentina: I hate you so much! Be forewarned! I am here supporting my sister. My close family friend who I would do anything for! Be forewarned!

Labor Day weekend

Maeve: Trey Sanders and I, are in reverse cowgirl, right now, so be forewarned. Finally, I have him right where I want him! ! I am hoping Labor Day brings about the next step in our relationship, the ultimate labor of love, a baby, for me and Trey Sanders!  You better not mess with our life together anymore. This is a big weekend for us, filled with private time and love-making, so be forewarned. If you are wondering where Trey Sanders is this weekend and for eternity, rest assured, that he is here with me, in Santa Cruz! Be forewarned!

Maeve: Rest assured, Trey Sanders will find this post disgusting and a complete invasion of privacy. You better delete it and merely digest what I am saying to you! Trey Sanders is not interested in pursuing you, an overweight, over the hill, mother of 3, so be forewarned. He has everything he ever wanted in me!

Stop and smell the roses 🌹