Car washes and flashbacks

 Why is going to the car wash by my house always a good trip? I enjoy the cool psychedelic colored soap they use. Fun!

I am on a roll!

 I have not been tortured enough, by my voices, to get carried away and complain about them here for 5 months! My new medication, Caplyta, has been working so well and I am not constantly hungry either. So I am feeling much better and pleased with my medication change. Unfortunately I still do creep on peoples profiles daily that I have no business looking at. I have a really hard time forgetting and moving on from college. I am still obsessed with my one male college crush but I have blocked every female roommate that I knew. I did not really consider them ever friends. It was total fakeville and they were actually pretty catty. I was peeping all the people that I blocked on Facebook tonight. I saw the roommate that I felt was the coolest of them all and I really think that she is mocking me in me in her current Facebook picture. She is wearing this curly brunette wig with blonde highlights. What can I say? She looks better than her regular, flat, brown hair but I guess haters gonna hate.

I had worse roommates than her though. I remember in my fourth year of college, I was living with a few girls, who were not kind to me. So, I start isolating myself from them. I was surprised when they invited me to New Orleans for Spring Break. I didn’t feel comfortable going anywhere with them. I was convinced that they didn’t have my back and I was petrified of the thought of going to New Orleans with them. I knew that I would not have a good time there with them. They had treated me like crap the whole year! So, I said “no thanks” and blew them off completely. I never regretted it. It’s nothing against New Orleans. You need to choose your travel companions wisely, as they could make or break your whole trip.

Here’s where it gets weird. I would get so paranoid just thinking about taking that trip there with them and all the things that could go wrong with travel companions who do not truly have your back. This is where my mental illness figures in. I have always felt that I am a bit psychic. There have been a few times in my life where I have predicted the future. Also, I have felt that my family members who have passed on, have guided me and advised me, in a way that most people are unable to hear. When I was in college, I really knew nothing about the history of New Orleans. I did remember thinking that if there was a horrible natural catastrophe, while we were on our trip, those chicks I traveled with, would have left me for dead. I did envision a flood. Fortunately for them, Hurricane Katrina did not happen for many years later.  

I thought it was merely my psychic powers that stopped me from going on that trip. But it may have been more than that. I was today years old (or very recently) when I learned that the largest lynching ever in the United States was of 11 Italian-Americans in New Orleans. It’s strange how much of American history is omitted from history books and how much is downright fabricated. Now I believe that my departed Italian family members were advising me not to go there. I felt fearful and I decided the best thing I could do was avoid that vacation destination completely. I heard that Italians in Italy know more about this historical event than most Americans. There is a song about it too, but the words are in Italian. I have been unable to find it on the internet. Of course, my parents went on to travel to New Orleans a few times and they had a lot of fun at Jazzfest as do many other people who travel and enjoy New Orleans regularly.

Valentina: What is the other reason you avoid traveling to New Orleans? You forgot to mention anything about Voodoo  priestesses in New Orleans. We know that you are deathly afraid of them. You know by now that Maeve loves New Orleans! Maeve and Trey lived there for awhile and took their breathtaking, enviable engagement photos on Bourbon Street. Eat your heart out, bitch! You passed up on Trey Sanders and when you peeped his pictures with Leigh you completely regretted your decision. Is he just so handsome in a suit and tie? He is a taken man now and he is going nowhere, so you can continue to suffer and reel in regret. Maeve may have picked up a few tricks from the friendly locals. You have already accused her of using Voodoo to hold onto her man. You are such a stupid and jealous bitch! Jealousy and delusion are a truly toxic mix. You must stay far away from Trey Sanders or you will be digging your own ditch! Be forewarned!