#Feeling Festive! (a little early) #HappyFourthofJuly

I went to the San Diego Fair today and started hearing voices in the crowd. They basically repeated themselves from earlier episodes. They still hate me, so they are hexing me. They wanted to let me know that Keith Spellman is not interested in a relationship with me. Point taken. There is no need to repeat yourselves. When I got home, I relaxed and the voices subsided. My home and backyard are my places of peace. I just love my family! I am truly a homebody! LOL

   Happy song of the day!!

OK, so I just watched a Sheena Easton video from the 1980's and noticed that she actually had a message about the music industry in her song lyrics. I remember loving the song "Strut" in the 80's but did not understand the message Sheena was trying to send in my youth. As an adult, I heard Sheena loud and clear. She speaking of the predators she has worked with throughout her career.

As I was browsing one of my favorite social media sites, schizophrenia.com, I curiously ended up on the selfie thread.(which I soon regretted) This thread is where certain individuals (mostly woman) brag about their looks and get positive feedback on their looks. It drives me crazy because some of these woman seem attention-starved and they get a lot of attention anyway. This one woman from the Czech republic, Sarad, was compared to the beautiful model Irina Shayk. She seemed offended by this, calling Irina a "fake feminist," and went on a rant about America. So, my point is, that I would never use the term "fake feminist" to describe someone. I appreciate any efforts made towards equality. This video, I believe, was Sheena Easton's attempt to bring to light sexual predators in the music industry. In my opinion, it is also a feminist video. I love it!

Speaking of this very subject...what is happening at the World Cup?



https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/world-cup-reporter-dodges-kiss-gets-apology_us_5b30f8bde4b00295f15f1f99?ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000067

I am so glad that I am not out in the dating world!  A few years ago, when I was single, I had a few kittenfishing/catfishing experiences. I was so naive! I had a horrible time, while trying to date online. I met only predators and perverts.  What is the slang, dating term for sending a woman a picture of another man's huge genitalia, in order to entice them? Numerous times, I exchanged phone numbers with men who would immediately forward me a well-endowed photo.  I found these photos to be not only offensive, but suspect, because they may not have even belonged to them. I would not know if the picture was legitimate or not, because this photo exchange never led to an actual date.

I only wanted the courting/dating part of the relationship. I wanted to get to know these men and take things slow. The men I encountered did not want to get to know me or even take me out on a date. Are times so tough that men can't even afford to take a woman out for coffee? Pathetic!

Men should not forward nude photos unrequested. Who would start a courtship out by sending a nude photo? Men also should not encourage women to send them "real" photos when that man has no interest in a relationship. I should not have to say this either. I will never use a dating website again. If you have no friends or acquaintances in common, there will be no one to be held accountable to.  Men will walk all over you, if they can get away with it!

For readers still interested in meeting someone, learn the latest dating slang below.

https://www.today.com/health/what-orbiting-plus-other-weird-dating-terms-know-t128216?cid=eml_tdb_20180623

The slang, dating term "Stash" rings a bell with me. I am positive that I have been consciously stashed before (in younger years). If someone is stashing you, they may be ashamed of you and not "right" for you. For this reason, stashing hurts the other person.

Sweet day! So proud of my oldest daughter on her graduation day! 

People pushing small dogs in baby strollers has reached epidemic levels in Carlsbad (Tamarack Beach)! Please do not encourage the younger generation to do this as well!


https://youtu.be/-2mZjrfvJG4

Mick Jagger comes out as schizophrenic...would be a headline that I'd like to see. (Sorry for the click bait) He could be the new face of schizophrenia. (JUST A JOKE!  I would not wish schizophrenia on anyone) On a more serious note, I was looking for information on command hallucinations and I found the article below. 

Command hallucinations are auditory hallucinations that instruct a patient to act in specific ways; these commands can range in seriousness from innocuous to life-threatening.

AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS: WHAT'S IT LIKE HEARING VOICES?

 HEALTHYPLACE.COM STAFF WRITER

      PRINT    

HEARING VOICES: HEARING WHAT OTHERS CAN'T HEAR

By Ralph Hoffman
Professor of Psychiatry at Yale University

You are in a crowd when you hear your name. You turn, looking for the speaker. No one meets your gaze. It dawns on you that the voice you heard must have sprung from your own mind.

This foray into the uncanny is as close as most people come to experiencing auditory hallucinations or "hearing voices," a condition that affects 70% of patients with schizophrenia and 15% of patients with mood disorders such as mania or depression. For these individuals, instead of hearing just one's name, voices produce a stream of speech, often vulgar or derogatory ("You are a fat whore," "Go to hell") or a running commentary on one's most private thoughts.

The compelling aura of reality about these experiences often produces distress and disrupts thought and behavior. The sound of the voice is sometimes that of a family member or someone from one's past, or is like that of no known person but has distinct and immediately recognizable features (say, a deep, growling voice). Often certain actual external sounds, such as fans or running water, become transformed into perceived speech.

One patient described the recurrence of voices as akin to being "in a constant state of mental rape." In the worst cases, voices command the listener to undertake destructive acts such as suicide or assault. But hearing voices is not necessarily a sign of mental illness, so understanding the mechanics of auditory hallucinations is crucial to understanding schizophrenia and related disorders.

For example, your occasional illusionary perception of your name spoken in a crowd occurs because this utterance is uniquely important. Our brains are primed to register such events; so on rare occasions the brain makes a mistake and reconstructs unrelated sounds (such as people talking indistinctly) into a false perception of the spoken name.

Hallucinated voices are also known to occur during states of religious or creative inspiration. Joan of Arc described hearing the voices of saints telling her to free her country from the English. Rainer Maria Rilke heard the voice of a "terrible angel" amidst the sound of a crashing sea after living alone in a castle for two months. This experience prompted his writing the Duino Elegies.

CAUSES OF AUDITORY HALLUCINATIONS

How can we understand differences between an inspired voice, an isolated instance of hearing one's own name, and the voices of the mentally ill? One answer is that "non-pathological" voices occur rarely or perhaps only once. Not so for the person with mental illness. Without treatment, these experiences recur relentlessly.

Brain imaging studies have found that parts of the temporal lobe activate during these hallucinations. Our research at Yale University, as well as studies conducted at the Institute of Psychiatry in London, also detected activation in an area of the brain known as Broca's region during production of "inner speech" or verbal thought.

One theory is that voices arise because Broca's area "dumps" language outputs into parts of the brain that ordinarily receive speech inputs from the outside. To test this theory we are using trans-cranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) to reduce the excitability of portions of the temporal lobe and Broca's region.

So far, most patients appear to experience significant improvements from TMS directed to both brain regions, with improvements lasting from two months to over a year. These results, although preliminary, suggest an alternative treatment if validated in larger-scale studies.

What remains unaddressed is the root cause of abnormal brain activations. We are pursuing three intertwined ideas. The first is based on studies suggesting that schizophrenia patients suffer from reduced brain connectivity. (See also Impact of Schizophrenia on the Brain.) As a result, certain groups of neurons, such as those responsible for producing and perceiving language, may begin to function autonomously, beyond the control or influence of other brain systems. It is as if the string section of the orchestra suddenly decided to play its own music, disregarding everyone else.

The second idea is that deprivation of social interaction - namely human conversation-makes the brain more likely to produce hallucinated conversations. Often one of the first signs of schizophrenia-occurring well before manifestations such as hearing voices-is social isolation.

Indeed, sensory deprivation can produce hallucinations in the sense mode that is deprived. An example is Charles Bonnet Syndrome, where visual impairments in the elderly can produce visions of human figures. Could the absence of actual spoken human conversation-a cornerstone of day-to-day human intellect and creativity-produce hallucinated conversations? Recall the extreme isolation that preceded the appearance of Rilke's startling voice.

Third, heightened emotions may play a role in producing voices. Indeed, heightened emotionality prompts the brain to produce information consonant with that emotional state. For example, a low mood favors generation of thoughts that are themselves depressing. It is possible that intense states of emotion could pre-select and perhaps elicit from the brain certain verbal messages having the same emotional charge.

Verbal messages expressed by voices often are highly emotional. Moreover, when schizophrenia begins, these persons are often in states of extreme fear or elation. It could be that these powerful emotional states increase the propensity of the brain to produce corresponding verbal "messages."

This would account for the fact that voices also emerge during states of extreme, but incidental, emotionality brought on by inspired thought, mania, depression, or ingestion of certain drugs. Here the voices disappear when the emotional states return to normal. The brains of schizophrenia sufferers may be vulnerable to becoming "stuck" in these hallucinatory states.

Our hypothesis is that voices arise from different combinations of these three factors-reduced brain integration, social isolation, and high levels of emotionality. This view has become the focus of efforts to understand and help patients with mental illness quiet their minds.

*** The paragraph I highlighted speaks for me. From psychedelic to psychotic is my story. You do not have to believe that marijuana and psychedelic drugs cause schizophrenia but that is my story and I am sticking to it. 

Great quote that I found on Pinterest! (My source for wisdom)

Separating families is really, really getting to me. More than anything lately. Seeing those images of children in cages crying for their parents with guards ignoring them or laughing or making stupid comments because their parents wanted a better life for their family?? What the F kind of country have we become? -Quoted from a friend.

On the one hand, I am a Democrat and agree with the same things everyone is ranting about. On the other hand, I think we are stuck with Donald Trump until the next election so I am not sure what all the ranting and raving is accomplishing. I am disgusted with how we are treating immigrant families too! I just do not post about it every day and have unfollowed many of my Facebook friends because their daily bitching aggravates me. I just don't know what to do about this. I do appreciate certain celebrities who use their celebrity for good and speak out against injustice. LOL  Forgive me for being an introverted, wishy-washy Aquarius in these trying times!

Holy Moly! He listened and heard and put a stop to separating families at the border!

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers, step fathers and father figures out there. Blessings and respect.- Lenny Kravitz

Feel good song of the day!

My next prediction is that makers of earth-friendly straws will become multi-millionares!


https://chicago.suntimes.com/business/mcdonalds-plastic-straws-us-united-kingdom-ireland/

https://www.itsthelaststraw.com/

The above link sells a biodegradable straw made by American hippies. I need these! The telephone number on the website lists a (951) area code telephone number. What? This straw was not created by Northern Californian hippies. No, there are from Southern California. Good job guys and good luck!

Joke of the day: (Spoken from my daughter in her school play about the California miners) "The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco!" LOL God bless California!

**I kid about Northern and Southern California being vastly different. I do believe there is a rivalry here. I feel that where I live is BETTER but I do not agree with this new proposal to split up California. What good can come from it? It is divisive and I don't get it! The proposal is suspect to me!!

Feel good song of the day! (I heard this at the grocery store today and now it is stuck in my head!)

Someone I love confided in me that she is in an abusive relationship both verbally and physically. Now I am stuck in the middle. She is mad at me now because I have a big mouth and because I no longer approve of her husband. No one in my family cares to read my blog but if you are reading this, this post is for you.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome


I love Queen Latifah!!

I wish I could say the only creepy weirdo stalking me on Facebook was Mark Zuckerberg.



https://www.theonion.com/creepy-weirdo-still-stalking-you-on-facebook-1826835239?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=The_Onion_twitter

" I am pretty sure college triggered my mental illness. My university years were a perfect storm." I am quoting someone else but I can totally relate. The course work at my college was too difficult for me. I was lost!  I struggled to make friends and to date. I was isolated and smoked too much weed. I became delusional. I thought I had a stalker but nothing ever transpired there. He would just creep around me in public. At one point, I thought Jerry Garcia was living inside of me. (although he was alive and well somewhere else) I also knew that he was going to die about a year before he actually died. I still think his spirit is with me sometimes. How else could I explain all the random coincidences in my life? He is a prankster, that Jerry!

You may not think this has anything to do with anything but here is a picture of my new VW. Unfortunately it drives like an old VW. The rate of acceleration is not what it should be, but I still love my cool, new VW! Now I need a dancing bears sticker for the back window! LOL

 Does anyone remember this? Fahrvergnügen (German pronunciation: [ˈfaːɐ̯fɛɐ̯ˌɡnyːɡn̩]) ( listen (help·info)) was an advertising slogan used by the German automobile manufacturer Volkswagen in a 1990 U.S. ad campaign that included a stick figure driving a Volkswagen car.^[1]

"Fahrvergnügen" means "driving enjoyment" in English (from fahren, "to drive," and Vergnügen, "enjoyment"). The term itself is not standard German but a neologism (compound noun) created especially for this advertising campaign. One of the tag lines incorporating the word was: "Fahrvergnügen: It's what makes a car a Volkswagen".

My paranoia may be getting the best of me but I think there are people in my community that read my blog and trip out on it. I think I have rubbed a few people the wrong way. I trip out when I do not understand the language people are speaking. I can't help but wonder are they talking about me? Are they laughing at me? It is enough to trigger voices for me, so I avoid those types of situations.

For those of you with children, getting out of the car to pick up your child from school can be stressful. Dealing with other parents on a grammar school campus can feel a lot like high school all over again. Because my children are special needs, I cannot go through the car pool line and have my children come to me. I have to walk from classroom to classroom and pick them up. So I am seeing and interacting with other parents daily.

Lately there is a Spanish-speaking couple who keep walking by me and laughing. I feel like they are laughing at me. At first glance, they are no one I would want to be friends with either. The woman has a condescending witch cackle, which grates on my nerves.

I must say that talking about the people around you in a foreign language is extremely rude, especially if you are bagging on them. These two individuals on campus are EXTREMELY rude and EXTREMELY obvious.

To have friends, you have to be a friend and be secure with yourself. Having a chip on your shoulder and hating on everyone on campus won't help you make friends.

***OK my true friend just reality checked me. They are probably not talking about me. She reassured me that it is human to wonder why people are laughing when they walk by. I feel better after confiding in my friend! She helped me. Everything is ok! LOL I don't know who reads this blog. As far as I know, no one I know does, which is a relief. Sorry if I just pulled a Roseanne Barr. I just googled "Why are schizophrenics so sensitive?" because everything going on around me or in the news just rocks my world.

I thought this video was fitting to my topic.  I know the lead singer of Stealers Wheel died a recluse. Although I don't want that in my future,  I can relate to the tendency to hermit at home. I felt this way twice today. (at the gym and picking up my children from school.)

I thought this was funny. I think my cousin-in-law is trying to rib me. I wanted to share a post from my cousin-in-law just now. The man speaking has a very thick Irish accent.  I honestly cannot understand a word this man is saying either.

When I first started dating my husband, we went out to nice restaurants a lot. He had a good paying job and I envisioned our life might, in some way, be like the following video where the woman gets swept off her feet, wined, and dined. To the good life!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQJACVmankY


After we got married, things began to change. We started having children and there was less time and money to go on fancy dates. When Weird Al covered this song, it was probably a much needed slap in the face or reality check. This video became, in many ways, our new normal. At least I can laugh about it! LOL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRVi0paZlfI

Ok so the thought has crossed my mind...