This is what my son wants for Christmas! 😂

 

What am I getting for Christmas??

 

Happy holidays 2020

 

Happy Thanksgiving!!

 OMG this girl was me from age 16-?  lol 

This has nothing to do with Thanksgiving

 

The price of love

 The price of love is loss. One way to avoid this is to panic and run like hell away from your soulmate. 😂Seriously, don’t do what I did.

More drama unfolding

So I have not been seeing Keith around lately and I assumed he went back up to Santa Cruz. I am not in touch with Keith or anyone in his world. All I know is what the voices tell me and I oftentimes foolishly believe them. They always suck me into their drama even tonight when I am laying on the couch relaxing after a bath. The voices creep in:

Leigh: Did you know that Keith Spellman made love to his wife, Leigh, when he went back to Santa Cruz this weekend? Be forewarned. Stupid bitch! You’ve done it this time. All of your messing around with my man broke up our marriage. You should be ashamed of yourself, so be forewarned!

Federica: This is Federica! I hate her so much! I can’t even believe it! You have been messing with my friends man for so long. He actually left Leigh! Stupid bitch! He would never leave Leigh for you...an old, washed up hag, so be forewarned! We are going to continue hexing you until the end of time, so be forewarned! Whether or not you end up with Keith, we are going to continue hexing you for what you have done and you deserve every bit of it, so be forewarned! Cigarette daydreams are all you have! This blog didn’t go over very well with us. You keep confessing your love for Keith Spellman to the world! You keep begging him to leave Leigh for you. Get over it and stay away from Keith Spellman or else!!!

Esteban: Stupid bitch, I am Esteban and I hate you so I am hexing you. I just wanted to call you a stupid bitch. That is all, so be forewarned!

(Later that night around 2:30 am) 

Leigh: I hate you so much so be forewarned! You’re messing with the wrong people. You’re messing with my marriage and that is unforgivable so be forewarned.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

13 Going on 30

 Storyline: I should have married you a million years ago but I didn’t and now it’s too late.  😂 

Band of Sand

Large reserves of sand

Noospheric band

Where I stand

Dreamland.

*This poem reminds me of someone.

Fading Light

 A tense night deepens

The distance in between us

I watch as you fade

PS I didn’t write this but it reminds me of my immediate family and the Thanksgiving  that I will not be at this year.  😂 

I miss you!

 I miss people that I don’t even really know or accurately remember at this point! I mean it’s been over 20 years?!!! lol 

Voodoo Child

“Lord don’t stop a Voodoo child” These lyrics eerily take me back to the height of my psychosis in 2014. I thought similarly, that the power of Voodoo and Santeria transcended Christianity and Catholicism. No matter what I said or did, I couldn’t shake the angry voices in my head or the people I thought were hexing me. Disappointingly, I could not pray the voices away.

I just looked up the lyrics and that is not even what he is saying. The actual lyric is “Lord knows I’m a Voodoo Child.” This whole time I have just been hearing what I want to hear. lol 😂 

This is the current story trend.

Sadly, my story is not that. My story is a good old fashioned love triangle/catfight. lol 

Yes!

 

Should I watch this movie?

1 Night in San Diego? This movie is about taking a road trip to San Diego to visit your crush and ultimately ending up disappointed ☹️ 

 

Rose rocks in Oaklahoma

 https://statesymbolsusa.org/symbol-official-item/oklahoma/state-mineral-rock/rose-rock

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/native-american-history/trail-of-tears

Learning about beautiful rose rocks in Oaklahoma today and also spent time reading about the Trail of Tears. Native Americans believe that rose rocks represent the souls of those lost in the Trail of Tears, which ended in Oklahoma. A beautiful reminder of a very sad truth of American  history.

Note to self

 https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8942591/Julianne-Hough-felt-did-not-deserve-high-life-ex-Ryan-Seacrest-gave-her.html

In this news story, she is talking specifically about material things, but I am thinking about the whole picture. If I get into a situation that feels “too good to be true” or better than I deserve, I am just going to roll with it next time. I have been down this road before! (Self sabotage)

Missing

It’s missing from my life 

Sometimes I notice it

Sometimes I don’t 

I wish I knew what it was

*I know what it is or who it is rather. My soul mate haunts me every day, through the songs I hear on the radio and at the grocery store. He is serenading me with his love songs, just like the good old days! 

No rest for the wicked

As I started to relax in my bath tonight,  the voices started speaking to me.

Leigh: You are still blogging everything that we say to you. Maybe you should keep all your Karen-ish thoughts to yourself. Be forewarned.  I hate you, so be forewarned, I may never stop hexing you. I practice Voodoo and Santeria. I am half -Venezuelan! No one will ever believe you. Based on my appearance, no one would ever suspect a thing. No one will ever know what I am doing to you. You should never have messed with my man! Be forewarned. Esteban is watching your every move for me. I am in Santa Cruz but he lives in Cardiff. We are watching you! Stay away from my man, Keith Spellman 

Esteban: Stupid bitch! How come you paint me as some evil monster? I am hexing you, so be forewarned. I am not giving you any material to blog about. Don’t try to write dialogue for me, either, stupid bitch. When I want to talk to you, I will.

Leigh: Stupid bitch! A voodoo doll on my Pinterest page proves nothing!  I have a healthy fascination with Voodoo and Santeria, but this is all in your mind, so be forewarned!

Later that night:

Leigh: Yeah right! She wants to trade places with me and put me in jail at the same time! Fat chance of that ever happening! Every time your thoughts drift to Keith Spellman, I will be there to punish you so be forewarned!

Feel the love!

 

My thoughts drifted far away tonight.

 I remember seeing a video of a snake charmer, as a child, and being shocked and petrified to see anyone  get that close to a Cobra. I never knew most of the snakes used have already been defanged. I learn something new every day!

Trust

I can’t trust

My mind.

So did it happen

Or not?

How Tomato Sauce Is Made In Italy | Regional Eats

Dumb joke

Two schizphrenics walk out of a bar. The first one says to the other, “I can’t believe what went on in there!” The second one replies, “So what else is new?”

Uh...no

 

Losing (A poem)

I used to hate 

Losing 

Then I got used 

To it

# I have actually been thinking quite the opposite lately #winning! Well maybe not, I am probably just delusional. My erotomania soulmate/crush is here in Carlsbad with me! Other than that, my reality in this pandemic is pretty stressful, but just trying to make the best of it!