Tomorrow is Mothers Day so my plan is to focus on all of the good things about my mother. We did have a great relationship. My mother was affectionate and supportive. She complimented me and encouraged me in different ways. My brain tends towards negativity and ultimately twists my memories to think negatively about my Mother. I am not sure it’s even accurate and it diminishes all of the wonderful things that she did for me. I am not going to spend Mothers Day being ungrateful to her or blaming her for the direction of my life when I have had a pretty cushy life thanks to her good advice. What am I complaining about anyway? I have a great life and I love being able to stay home with my children. It is what I wanted and no regrets for this decision ultimately.
My children’s grandmother, my ex mother in law is also deceased. We were estranged at the time of her passing. I initially liked her. We were both Aquarians. I think that my husband thought we were similar in some ways and us getting along well together comforted him. I didn’t outright kiss her butt though. I loved and appreciated that I never was dragged back to Michigan to win over Stephen’s entire family. I don’t know how that would have gone. Not seeing his childhood home and meeting his extended family back in Michigan kept his childhood much of a secret from me at the same time, which wasn’t good for me. His mother was 1/2 Irish like me and also 1/2 French. She was unfortunately a bit racist and prejudiced against Italians. Little comments were made here and there which were insulting . She talked about Italians as being linked to the mafia. She had Italians in her family as her sister married an Italian man. I would just look at her puzzled and offended. I have Italian family up and down Southern California. From Santa Barbara down south to where we live. I have met many California Italians. My Dads generation was more segregated and he hung out with many Italians in Los Angeles .Before that, my Dads parents both belonged to the Italian Confederation of Santa Barbara where local Italians would meet up . They know every Italian in Santa Barbara basically.We never met or heard of any local mafia ever. My Dad got into plenty of trouble in his youth but no one ever hit him up to join the mafia! No one does that in California. That’s strictly East Coast and Italy I guess, which I have never even visited. My ex-mother in law used to also question openly why Stephen chose me? “He always liked blondes! I thought he was going to marry a blonde after moving to California?!” I prefer blondes too lady! I really do! Quit reminding me of that and rubbing it in! Someone who hates the beach and doesn’t like breaking a sweat would never land a California blond beach bunny. I mean get real! She thought her son was totally out of my league looks-wise, no matter what he weighed! lol
I do notice the wife of my dream man from college, who got away, is continuing her tradition of sucking up to his Mom. That’s great that she loves and honors her no doubt! I am jealous of their friendship definitely! I can’t undo her years of sucking up to B- She loved and adored K- which I totally get! She strategized winning over his family. I believe it’s a carefully procured facade. Isn’t she wonderful? The perfect wife, daughter in law, friend! I can’t undo her years of work building a bond with his mother. I would probably never be accepted by Ks mom. She will always view me as a home wrecker of sorts, even though it’s K who started this! K’s mind has always wandered down to me in Carlsbad. The choice is his, whether to stay in Santa Cruz with his wife or move down here to me. He appears to be torn. I’m anticipating more pictures of K with his Mom and gushy tributes from his wife to her mother in law this Mothers Day. At nearly 50 years old, I doubt that I would have time to truly win over Ks mother, sister, and friends. Acceptance would be wonderful. Wouldn’t it be nice to move on together as seamlessly as possible?! Manifesting this is my hope and my ultimate goal! Happy Morhers Day to you in Santa Cruz!
Well back to reality. I should take a moment to reflect on my own Motherhood journey. I love my children who have dealt with some challenges and rocky times. I cherish living in the same home with my children and continuing to nurture them into their teenage years. You do have to continue parenting in these teenage years. I am conscious that my children still need me and I need to switch gears as their needs change! I am so happy to be out of the trenches of diaper duty! I didn’t mind at the time but I was young and had more energy too. I was invested in my children and enjoyed them when they were my cute little babies. I am enjoying these years too though. I enjoy watching their growth and progress. I love where we are at and the time is flying by with my oldest about to graduate high school. Sigh! Despite my mental health challenges, I think that I am a great mom (not perfect) who is present and heavily involved in her children’s lives. I’m cheering my children on and wish them as much success and independence as possible. They are very bright and hardworking, which is a great combination. As a mom to children on the Autism spectrum, I will be a lifelong caregiver I predict. I am ready for this possibility and I am in this for the long haul. I look at it this way, I will never have to suffer from Enpty Nest syndrome like many other moms. My children will most likely stay fairly close by. I want them to be independent but I also want them to choose to remain close to me. We’ll see how that works out! Manifesting my children’s independence and them choosing to continue having close bonds with their parents. Amen to that and Happy Mother’s Day to me!!
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