“You already lost”

 I read that there was going to be a steam engine running yesterday on the Fourth of July, in Poway. Me and my daughters decided spontaneously to go to the Fourth of July event there and ride the train. We didn’t get all decked out in red white and blue. When we got there, I looked around and felt out of place. Like, everyone there was super into it. I was guessing that everyone was MAGA. They were pretty much all military families. I decided that we would just keep to ourselves. We were super respectful and sweet. We didn’t speak to anyone and we were hoping to avoid confrontation or any heated political discussions.

This is the same reason I don’t take my kids to church anymore. I hate being surrounded by judgmental people and women who are threatened by me. I felt like we stood out, because we were not walking around, as an intact family. Some Mean Girl woman, who was almost 6 ft tall and MAGA, was very bitchy to me. She was purposely trying to make eye contact with me. She got my attention and pointed up her skirt?! I was thinking, “What in the ho, are you gesturing about?” Was she asking me about my sexuality or if I was ok not getting laid regularly? Wow! She was almost 6 feet tall, so she of all people, should not be pointing up her skirt, because I am not sure what is up there. No. Seriously. This was a military wife, I presume, who was there with her husband and her two young sons. I was just standing there, minding my own business, and Regina George jumped out of this woman, for the purpose of making me super uncomfortable. I still don’t even know what exactly she meant by that but I wasn’t amused.

I felt like I was in the Deep South, all of a sudden. I felt so different looking and targeted. I do feel like a lot of women use the Fourth of July to dress like hoe-y country bumpkins, in a lot of red and cowboy boots. So good for them. This woman was almost as tall as her husband, so who knows about her? I didn’t think she was any hotter looking than me, in all her red. Men are attracted to me still, at 50 years old. So I am not worried about that. 

I respect that military men are disciplined and have good values. The majority of them are trying to hold their families together and remain faithful. They do get a house of their own, when they get married, but once they get married, they try hard to stick it out with their original wives. Marriage is always hard work and full of challenges, so I respect their dedication to their families. You have to remain focused on each other. Temptations will always come up. Especially when you marry young, are fit, and attractive.

I am trying not to bite the hand that feeds me. I know how law enforcement and the military lean politically. They support Donald Trump. They are proud Americans etc etc, so they really showed up yesterday. One guy complained that some people weren’t showing American pride, by not coming dressed in some stupid red white and blue costume. I am sorry, we just aren’t feeling that great about the country presently. We went there to ride the train and we got sandwiched between MAGA military families in the train line. 

The dirty looks from the military moms though. Like, I respect that I was surrounded by young, intact families. That is ideal and I want that for them. I am happy for them, especially because they have young kids. Divorce is heartbreaking. People write the home wrecker narrative for me, all the time. It’s an assumption they make. Me putting my story out there makes it 100 times worse. 

We were almost through the line and were about to board the train, when this military guy was muttering something behind me. It sounded like he said, “You already lost…when you gave up your family for your crush…and got hexed.”  I should never call myself a “winner,” in this situation, is his two cents. I did get very messed up by this. I mean, I agree with that. 

 I was outnumbered yesterday, but it wasn’t that bad. I do want everyone’s help and sympathy, so I just bit my tongue. I didn’t dress too hippie or contrary to the Fourth of July yesterday. I may not have been dressed as silly as some of the “Patriots,” but give me a break! Some people looked ridiculous. Is me being myself and not an automaton, a form of protest? Well, good for me then.  Please don’t deport me for speaking my truth, my disagreement, and my “bleeding heart liberal democrat beliefs!’

Thank you to the military for your service, bravery, and for protecting the U. S. I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else, but my home in the U.S, (S. California, to be exact)