“History Facts”

Every time I get signed up for a new mystery daily email from a random website I never subscribed to, I wonder. Is this unsolicited email from a random bot perhaps, or is this an insulting joke from some anonymous hater person around me? The website emailing me is called “History Facts.” I should know more historical facts than I do. I am more interested in American historical facts, the civil rights movement, interethnic history, and immigration stories. I don’t think this jab is aimed at my lack of interest or knowledge of world history though.

Leigh…bitch…my “history facts” about my own life may be cloudy. Some memories about my personal life may have been distorted, made better or worse, throughout the years. I acknowledge this. I am trying to figure out my history with your “property.” I don’t have much information about his life before me or really any information that could have been obtained if I had ever been in a relationship with him, like you have been. You married him. You know all the good and bad facts, that I never had access to. But many of your historical facts, that you are putting out into the universe, about your relationship with K, are pure fuckery. You are a lying ass bitch, who asked your creepy cousins to help you force K to propose to you and remain with you, for all these years,  against his will. That’s a hard to believe historical fact, about your marriage, that no one else may know or believe. However, I am standing 10 toes down on this fact!