Corona memes

Pet parents & a unique love story

Ok look at how they love their tortoise and take cute family photos with it. I was conservatively raised to view a childless marriage as some sort of alternative lifestyle, but I have blossomed into a more open minded person than that and I definitely see love and beauty in this. Best of all, they look so happy! This is definitely a family!

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8092943/California-couple-wears-matching-outfits-pet-tortoise-Ethel-Glamour-Tort.html

I kill vibes LOL

That has been the social history of my life 

In a nutshell 

“Don’t kill the good vibe, Danielle “

Apparently I was just an atmosphere killer 

Without even trying 

I was a social leper years ago

Square peg, round hole

I wish I could erase all my memories 

From high school and college 

Someone told me not to ruin the good, party vibe 

And that I had the charisma of a rock

Those party, non-friends from my youth can F off

Fortunately for me, I found SZ peers online who can relate 

And a tribe in real life who are also great.

I have realized that one of the finer things in life is being understood 

Like only a good friend who listens and empathizes could 

Life

Life would be great 

If it weren’t for 

The Intermittent Torture

It was lovely to see you today as always Keith!

😆

The cameraman should have won a medal!

Twin Flame

https://www.spiritualunite.com/articles/twin-flame-theory/

I guess that I am lucid and stable enough to say that I don’t really have a twin flame. I wish that I did! Throughout the year 2013, I thought that I was speaking telepathically with my twin flame. Unfortunately, at this point, I only hear from his real life wife and her two friends, who torment me privately in my mind. Remember the good ol’ days of speaking telepathically with my twin flame? Those days are long gone and now I am paying the price. Never cyberstalk someone’s husband or the claws of  a jealous wife will come out real quick. Leigh’s claws are here to stay and are a permanent fixture in my mind.

That’s the way the cookie crumbles

Don’t ever say that to me when I am disappointed or make lemonade out of lemons. Thanks in advance!

Stability

Am I stable?

Compared to the year 2014

My life now is like a warm Spring day 

On a prairie with no wind blowing.

With just the occasional dust storm or cyclone.

The Adjustment Bureau

There was a movie from 2011 that I never actually watched but it sounds good. I am not heavily into science fiction but it involves two individuals who meet and become smitten with each other. The catch is, if they do embark on their romance, they will likely never achieve their career & life goals. There is a give and a take to every relationship. Something has got to give. I wanted to marry young and have a large family. I found someone who wanted a wife who could stay at home with our children. The man who I always look back to and wonder about is now a married doctor with no children. Maybe he doesn’t like children? We didn’t end up together so perhaps we were never fated to be together,. Anyway getting married young and having a bunch of kids would have likely interrupted or altered the course of his career.  I am happy that I didn’t stand in his way and I achieved my dreams too. So again, no regrets!

Leigh: (whispering) You’re not fated to be with Keith Spellman so be forewarned! That’s all I have to say.

It's not too late!

Listen to The Specials! Great message here! I have never seen The Specials live but my sister has.. The crowd looks pretty rowdy here. It takes a minute for the actual song to start. LOL

AWW life goes by too fast!!

Am I old? As per my voices, I am old. My midlife crisis was around the years 2013-2014 and I am 45 years old now. 😂 

A slow burn

I am feeling a slow burn

It has been intensifying for years 

I get it

& I see you 

You are here

And you are awesome 

But you’re not mine

So don’t rub it in 

All (A poem)

What would you do

If you had it all?

Drive down to Carlsbad 

And show it all off.

I think I missed something.

Is it me?

Is it me, or does my bedsheet appear to be an image of Jerry Garcia? Last night in the dark it appeared to me, and I took this picture. Today, in the daylight, not so much. It is just a flower. 😞 

When I look in the mirror

TBH I see the opposite of this thin man in the mirror. Years ago I saw Kirk Hammett from Metallica in the mirror which was pretty cool. That only happened once.

Caddyshack

Here is an article discussing the movie, Caddyshack, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I was raised in the 1980’s and watched too many movies which objectified females and the female body. It is sad to hear now the truth that many of those actresses were pressured/bullied into appearing topless and naked. Hopefully those days are long gone, but I am warped for having watched those movies. It is too late for me. Caddyshack was definitely inappropriate for kids.

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/caddyshack-michael-okeefe-playboy-scene-chevy-chase-bill-murray-150018623.html

Boredom strikes

But I got some good news via a crystal ball.

Some animal vandalized our yard

And by animal I mean unleashed dog or human idiot..

Good news

It’s spell casting Saturday!

A quote from a friend: One woman's miracle is another woman's laughter.

Revenge

Don’t mess with me and my magic!

I don’t practice Santeria. I ain’t got no crystal ball. I had a million dollars but I spent it all.

Violet Beauregard

I feel funny! Hey, what’s happening?-Violet

It happens every time. They turn into blueberries!-Willy Wonka

McSteamy

https://www.yahoo.com/news/doctors-posting-bikini-selfies-protest-150800828.html

Great study here! Doctors tend to be Type A, I think, so I am not surprised that many of them stay in great shape and healthy.  I appreciate the cool “lookers” with a sense of humor even more. ❤️ 

In Defense of our Teachers

This is so well written and funny! Dave Grohl is definitely more than a great drummer!

An evening with your cat

One evening, I was walking all alone

& Your cat followed me home

She seems to have taken a liking to me

& She is enjoying being free

Everything here is just rosy

We have gotten very cozy

You must be having a fit

But she doesn’t seem to miss you one bit

Maybe she grew tired of you

Or wanted a change of view

If you insist, you can have her back

I don’t need a verbal attack

& please don’t call me a thief

I didn’t even want a cat, cest la vie.

Very informative and accurate video

https://youtu.be/KcZ_F1eua-I

The Real Villain

I tried to write a book

About the horror story that is my life 

Or the horrific pieces of it

My life hasn’t been all bad

& I have made the best of it

One mistake I made

Was who I cast as villains in my story 

It isn’t the fault of my lost love

Or his wife

Or her friends 

Although there is a great loss in life

When timing is bad 

And two people miss each other romantically 

I completely missed the point 

The real villains in this story are

My misguided rush to get married 

And even more, my mental illness 

My mental illness has affected my relationships, my career, my whole life trajectory for the worse

If I could rewrite my story as a dramatic comedy, as opposed to the horror story I originally wrote, I would.

Wear a mask!

I have never been a super cool beach person and rarely go there myself. But as I drive by, I see that no one there wears a mask. Stay safe! Wear a mask!

My soul would have left my body!

https://youtu.be/wpZdOZ15UGI

This is why I do not have any interest in camping at places like Yellowstone! No thanks.

If you can’t take a selfie with a bear, why go camping? 

On that note...

Someone said to me

I want to go back to the 90’s

When everything was beautiful 

And nothing hurt

But I was not really loving my life then

I was already anticipating the future hurt and loss

That I would experience 

I knew it all along 

Life before mental illness 

Will always be rosier 

Did I even enjoy the sun

Or did I squander it?

Mental illness drove me

To make certain decisions 

In my life

I can’t turn back 

The hands of time

So I won’t focus on regrets 

Disclaimer: 

I share mental illness  stories 

And speak for the majority 

However I have a family 

I love them

And live for them

I prefer to look to the future for us

I thank my lucky stars for my kids 

Most people with mental illness 

Do not have children 

And are utterly alone

But I really am blessed and not depressed 

No regrets

He left me

For who I used to be

Young, fun, dumb

Now I am free 

To age gracefully 

And in privacy

Never regret 

Those who left

That’s your best bet

Keith: You left me!

Chaos of company

I prefer to spend time home alone

The chaos of company bothers me

And distracts me 

From my dreams 

Treasures

La Costa, where I live, is a very nice neighborhood. (Maybe not my culdesac though) Last year a used condom sat in the middle of our street for weeks, until I picked it up and threw it away. Lately it has been a prison shank (?) of some sort sitting in the middle of the street. This could have injured someone or damaged a tire. I have some sketchy neighbors for sure! See exhibit A above!

Anticipation

Federica: Your driving is not sexy. You drive like a grandma!

I often hear voices when I am driving. People have been driving especially crazy lately, which adds to my driving stress.

I am anticipating what voices I will hear this week. I am getting a colonoscopy this week, which the hypochondriac in me is semi-excited about. But I am not looking forward to starving all Tuesday and drinking the nasty laxative Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. My brother said it tastes like a mixture of Tang, 7 Up, and vomit. 

I wonder what the voices will have to say. They will jab me over the nastiness of it all. I am sure. Believe it or not, I am doing this willingly because I am paranoid about Cancer. Wish me luck on Wednesday and I will keep you posted!

Task

My younger self

Gave my older self

The impossible task 

Of sorting it all out

Great advice!

https://www.sciencealert.com/here-are-16-psychological-tricks-to-immediately-make-people-like-you-more

An old, familiar voice

Keith: Feel that fire? It’s real. That’s jealousy. You’re jealous.

Wanted (A poem)

The people I wanted

Didn’t want me
The people that wanted me
I didn’t want

Not again!

https://www.abc.net.au/life/why-we-get-negative-thoughts-before-bed/10581594

I’m out!

https://www.instagram.com/p/CCBjRpsBtzN/?igshid=1qkev3lgzksut

A Blue Heron I saw the other day

Mom

You came to me

In a dream 

And apologized 

I miss speaking to you in person 

& being by your side

I think of you often and remember the good times

I feel special when you speak back to me

This has to be

The best blessing and benefit of my beautiful mind.

Outshined

https://youtu.be/sJ6L2wtkuZs

A funny story. There was a girl in high school who liked me. She bought me thermal pajamas for Christmas one year. So I wear my thermal tee shirt when I saw her after Christmas vacation and she told me that I looked like Chris Cornell. I said, “Ia that what you have been doing this whole time? Trying to dress me to look like Chris Cornell?” She didn’t deny it. First I have to say that I hope I don’t have as much facial hair as him. Second it’s  always 80 degrees in the valley even in the winter  and too hot for thermal tee shirts and flannels. My high school years were interesting. lol 

My inner age

I think that I am mentally stuck at about 20 years old. Case in point, just kidding, I don’t really have a point here.

So today I see my husband taking a mandatory sexual harassment quiz for work. I am thinking that people, men especially, are so stupid for needing this. Why do we need this spelled out to people? I start laughing though.

The first question is as follows:

1. A woman at work tells you that she is pregnant.

You:

A. Turn and walk away from her

B. Congratulate her

C. Tell a sexual joke 

D. Touch her belly

Is this a serious quiz he is taking? I am stuck in my 20’s, maybe younger, for laughing about this. It is quite pathetic actually.

Liking

I can’t look people 

In the eyes 

I’m afraid I’ll end up

Liking them

List

Many of the things you have done 

Are on my bucket list 

But with all the smiles and good times 

I see secrets

Exist

The perfect relationship 

For me

Doesn’t exist

Because I would be in it

Good night

Acceptance

Initially I accepted my diagnosis

With open arms

Acceptance helped me

Out of mental hell

Years later 

While stable and on meds

I felt perfect 

With no voices 

I began to doubt my diagnosis 

And eventually went off my meds 

So back into hell I went 

I got into heaps of trouble 

& For my own good

I was sent to a hospital 

Where I got back on my meds

I struggled for years after that 

Because the meds didn’t work

Like they used to

But ever so slowly 

I found my serenity 

And crept back to reality 

It was a rocky road

I learned the hard way

What I should never have doubted 

From here on out

My breakthrough voices will always remind me

Of what I am 

Schizoaffective is my diagnosis 

Thinking about Michael Jackson

I have to get this procedure done in two weeks and the doctor told me that they are going to give me propofol to render me unconscious. I am very concerned about it

I am reminded of Michael Jackson and what happened to him. Scary!

I remember watching this performance of Billie Jean on television and getting chills because it was so awesome!

Poem of the day

Roses are red 

My name is Dave

This poem makes no sense

Microwave 

He stole my video idea!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/hnkpye/doing_workout/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I like Drew!

https://www.yahoo.com/huffpost/drew-barrymore-instyle-size-of-a-bus-fat-213944397.html

I don’t blame Drew for her statements here. I blame Hollywood for encouraging diet culture and eating disorders. Drew is an actress who wants to continue working in Hollywood, so she needs to stay thin. I am 45 years old too and battling my middle age spread. I can relate to that. 

I don’t look up to celebrities more than anyone else. Don’t look up to Hollywood actresses as role models and you won’t be disappointed. Drew is human and the camera adds 10 pounds or more. I am glad I don’t have to live up to Hollywood ideals and be on the hamster wheel that she is! 

Flake

This is dedicated to you! I was still single and bitter about college, when this song came out. No one from college ever rescued me, but as my sister always says, “You went to UCSB, a party school? You were never going to find your husband there.” Yah right! My cousin met her husband there! 😢 

So I guess, I went to UC Santa Barbara at the same time as Jack Johnson, but I had no clue who he was. I was so out of it.  😆 

God bless her spirit!

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/former-miss-colombia-daniella-alvarez-000910072.html

Daniella Alvarez really has a great attitude about her predicament. I wouldn’t be smiling and I would definitely sue! Like my mother-in-law always said, “Doctors/Surgeons are just butchers. That’s why they call it a practice!”

Love this!

What the hell kind of bachelor party is that?

https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2020-07-06/austria-bachelor-party-ends-with-snake-bitten-tongue

This sounds like a much tamer version of The Hangover!

Quote from some dude

I was reading an article on Yahoo and there was this comment about marriage from what I presume is “some guy.” It is hilarious how different men and women think. This comment also made me think about my antipsychotic and how much it has changed me. Antipsychotics shackle out the basic animal instincts of those who take them. I never had an out of control libido, like the Brothers F, and really cannot relate to where he is coming from now. Maybe only another mental patient will get what I am trying to say. We tend to be asexual while medicated. 😞 

Heather Mooney

This was probably me in high school and college, minus the cigarettes. 😂  

Mysterious Ways

Bono and The Edge walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Not U2 again.”

Quit flirting with me!

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/videos/category/science/why-is-this-lizard-doing-push-ups/

Ok so I have never filmed it but all the lizards 🦎 I see around here are always flexing for me and doing push-ups. So I googled this phenomenon. Why do lizards do push-ups? Click the link above for the interesting answer.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.livescience.com/amp/32192-why-do-lizards-do-push-ups.html

So good!

I just want to say...

I just want to say 

That as a red blooded Italian-American woman

Butternut squash noodles 

Are thoroughly disappointing!

🤢 

Who thought of substituting real noodles with this?

I have a carbohydrate consuming, weight losing wish

I am singing the butternut squash noodle blues!

P.S. I hate Kale too!

 

Shocked and confused

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/jul/03/vogue-portugal-under-fire-for-very-bad-taste-mental-health-cover

The things that people print for shock value and ratings amaze me. I am shocked and confused by this magazine cover. I think the moral to the story is let us tell our own stories! I am afraid of telling my own story, in a way that is offensive to the mentally ill, or will draw criticism too. You can’t win when you are insensitive and ignorant to mental health issues. This idea was bound to flop! Does Vogue Portugal care or was this a publicity stunt? It appears to be backfiring on them.

Elliot really loves watching the sunset!

Santana

What happened?

Fantasizing

Looking back 

Fantasizing about

What might have been 

Never gets old

Young

Hiking, biking, surfing, and smiling 

Not to mention nude beach hi jinx

Dressy parties with dancing and drinking 

She keeps him young 

Or so he’s thinking 

Help

A voice told me to stop drinking 

And take care of my mental health 

It is the first time a voice

Has ever tried to help