Question

Today I saw a woman drive into a pole at my child’s middle school. She backed up pretty quickly and drove into a parking spot. I thought she was drunk because she hid in her car until the kids got out of school. I didn’t go over to ask if everything was ok. I was worried that she was embarrassed about the whole thing and didn’t want to bother her. Later I see her teenage son get out of the passenger seat and check for damage. She was driving her minor son! He played it cool but I feel unsettled about the whole thing. Did I do the right thing by minding my own business?

Asterisks

I wish I’d read the small print

In the description of  life

Or taken more notice

Of all the asterisks.

 

You can like or leave positive comments here too!

 

Casino

My illness is like a casino

Place your bets

Oh no! The ball has landed 

On a sick day 

Filled with voices 

Things are getting serious

Maeve: Been there! Done that! I have been there for quite a long time. 10 years, no less. 10 years married not to mention the years of blissful dating. You’ve been messing with my man!

I want to kill you! Stupid bitch! Be forewarned!

The paranoid hiker (me)

 I don’t even hike on a nature trail. I am so paranoid about snakes, bugs, and maniacs, that I just basically pound the pavement.

The inability to detect external stimuli rapidly and accurately?

 https://science.sciencemag.org/content/372/6537/33.summary

No it is because the rock stars and studly men are driving past me too fast! I think that I am accurately identifying the people driving past me but who knows? Are the people driving past me merely hallucinations?

The only catchphrase that stuck with me

This was my favorite scene in Game of Thrones not that I watched it. I would love for someone to call me Khaleesi but I am honestly probably more like this guy. lol 

 

Are you talking to me?

So I heard this song at Kohl’s in Encinitas and wondered why I was hearing it. Is someone trying to tell me something?  I left pretty quickly after hearing this song because I was getting paranoid bad vibes. I always think everything is about me! 

 

Bittersweet Symphony

Life is a bittersweet symphony. This song was played at my cousins wedding and I started crying instantly. It could have been played at my wedding, as it is from the 90s college times. Although this isn’t really a love song and also I didn’t marry anyone from those college days. I love how, in the video, Richard Ashcroft keeps bumping into strangers on the street. It seems symbolic of something but I can’t put my finger on what it is. That’s life maybe! You cross paths with certain people and they really leave their mark on you. I feel like people are deliberately bumping into me too. Famous people keep making cameos in the story of my life. They drive past me though, instead of walking into me.  lol 

Relationship

I can tell you 

What doesn’t work 

In a relationship 

If that’s any help 

Plans

 I'm pretty annoyed

That life didn't go

According to 

Our nonexistent plans

The voices came back tonight a bit.

Maeve: You're having a midlife crisis, so be forewarned. We are not talking to you about George Floyd, so be forewarned. You are by far, the most racist woman that I have ever met, so be forewarned. We are not done with you yet. You keep nosing around my husband's business, so be forewarned. We are not here to write a story for you. We are not here to help you feel better about yourself. This is an act of revenge for messing with my man and messing with my marriage. I hope that the pictures of me and Trey bother you, so be forewarned!

Matteo: Stupid bitch. You have no idea what to make of this. We are hexing you, so be forewarned! 

Maeve: You had nothing new to write yesterday because we keep repeating ourselves. We are just harassing you. It isn't meant to entertain others. We certainly didn't intend for you to put us on blast, for the whole world to see. What you are doing, blogging about what we say to you, went against our wishes, so be forewarned. You will suffer from our voices a bit longer, for messing with us!

Matteo: What are you writing, stupid bitch? Why are you trying to incriminate us? We cannot be incriminated. I am in Venezuela, minding my own business, and you are in Carlsbad, accusing us of preposterous things. You need to realize that you are a Karen and you are the problem! Get over Trey Sanders and maybe your head would be a bit clearer. 

Valentina: You are going down a dark path, by yourself. I advise you to stay away from the Sanders and all of our social media pages. Be forewarned. Trey Sanders is not interested in a romantic relationship with you. He is happily married, so be forewarned.

Probably

What could have been,

Always seems to be better

Than what would

Probably have been.

If I had hooked up with that guy from college, the honeymoon phase would probably have ended a long time ago, and he would be looking around at all the women he had to pass up because he got married so young. Would I have made him happy? I didn’t keep up with my appearance due to multiple pregnancies and my antipsychotic-induced obesity. A spouse sees you at your worst and I never wanted to show him that. Let him remember me as young thin and playing too hard to get. lol 

Wow!

 I must be too old and too fat to chase musicians! This is me after rushing the stage in 2021.

At peace visiting with family in Balboa Park

 What a nice day with family! While driving home from Balboa Park, I heard the verdict of Derek Chauvin. I started crying tears of relief. All I can say is that it is difficult to drive on the freeway while you are crying. I made it home safely but not without hearing a few voices too. Rest In Peace George Floyd. I hope that the sentencing is equally just and satisfying.

If only I could do this!

 

My rock hall vote today

 

 

 

 

Dreamy song from college days

 

Torture

You just torture me

Driving by on your hot date

I’m better off alone

Battling

Battling schizophrenia 

I’m winning 

“Oh really?”

Says the disease 

Mood

 Me and my man living our best life! Drink up babe!

I will do anything! Just get me out of here!

 

Do over

I want a do over

I am going back to college 

Since I wasn’t paying attention the first time around 

What did I actually learn at UCSB

Not much that I have put into practice 

I didn’t even marry my college sweetheart 

If I were to do it all over again 

I would bravely submit my love poems 

To the Daily Nexus

For the whole school to see

I am forever reeling from unrequited love 

The End

As the end of college drew near 

All I really wanted 

Was for someone to say 

I will miss you

& Let’s keep in touch

Don’t wake me up!

 

Yes it would have been nice.

 But it’s not too late! I really believe that!

This explains it!

This explains me laughing while my mother was being buried. Well her good friend told me a joke too. We started chatting about something totally unrelated to what was happening.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradoxical_laughter#

Yes, I guess...

 

Schizophrenia In Kenya

 https://oc87recoverydiaries.org/schizophrenia-kenya/?fbclid=IwAR2KQI44NpFjjHUUl0kAyWzYcZh3rxsA5b9w1DmXMmrvcy0V1RNjDX3N6Mk

I can relate to this story in a lot of ways. This is basically my story except it happened in Kenya to a man. It is amazing how similar our stories are!

 

I am not convinced his parrot is enjoying this.

Maybe Tico the parrot prefers opera.

You’re already the voice inside my head.

 

Still waiting

 

Does marijuana use trigger schizophrenia?

 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33837184/

Or is it coincidental that many people living with schizophrenia were once marijuana smokers? I was a casual marijuana smoker in my teens/early twenties. I also have a great grandfather who died in a mental institution. I was doomed between genetics and marijuana use beginning in junior high school age.

True story

 

This would be me anyway

 https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.surfertoday.com/environment/what-is-island-fever/amp

I could care less if I ever went to Hawaii or some tropical island. 

Different lifestyles

 https://www.usmagazine.com/podcasts/watch-with-us/challenge-all-stars-trishelle-cannatella-hasnt-spoken-to-katie-cooley/

This sounds very familiar. We have different lifestyles too. Can we still be friends?

 

 

Why am I so afraid of bees?

Maybe because it is looking at me through my windshield like it is going to kill me. I am deathly afraid of bees.  Should I brave getting out of the car or not? 😂 

Enjoying the day!

 

Stay away from Black Magic!

 I have always been a bit frightened of Dave Mustaine (from the band Megadeth) and didn’t know why. This video might explain it. He speaks about how he practiced Black Magic in his teenage years, which haunts him to this day. He blames his losses in life on the hexes he has put on others. He is a big time Christian now. Well good for him for getting out of that hell.

Blogger must not like these videos which you can find on YouTube. They took them down.

Brass Monkey

Now I can say that I have drank some Brass Monkey! Mission Accomplished!Why do I look not thrilled after drinking my Brass Monkey? This not a super good picture of me, but I had such a nice time with my friends tonight that I wanted to share. Here I am at Mr. Peabody’s, after drinking one Brass Monkey. lol I can now cross this off my cocktail bucket list. It’s the small things in life after all! :) Next on my list is Night Train. Is that a real drink?

Starbucks moment of intuition

On Easter, I went bright and early to grab my Starbucks and the staff was very friendly, as always. They know me there, by name now. They asked me what I was doing for Easter and I said that I was meeting up with my brother. I guess I had a weird, concerned look on my face. The manager replied, “Oh is that a bad thing?” I answered “No, it’s just that  I have been vaccinated and my brother has not.” I left it at that and we shifted gears conversationally, to how hard it is to get a vaccine. 

It turns out that my trepidation to meet up with my brother may have been warranted. His in-laws may have COVID. I am still fuzzy on the truth of the matter, but my daughters and I may have been exposed to COVID from Easter. It has turned into a huge family debacle and now I have to wait and see if anyone gets sick. My whole family is fighting over this too!

Poor guy!

 He is not thinking about me at all! Matteo published this on his Instagram story so I googled the translation because I do not speak Spanish and yup this has nothing to do with me! I am sorry for stalking your life Matteo! Yes it is I who are cyberstalking and not the other way around.I guess he has a motorbike track in Venezuela that is temporarily closed. If someone is living in another country, can they still get you and hex you? No I am sorry for the Karen question. I am half joking.

Forgetting Unwanted Memories

 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33810436/

I can’t forget about my hardest hitting missed opportunity, which changed the course of my love life forever. I will never forget. It haunts me to this day and probably always will.

Let’s try this again

 I will just wait for this to be taken down.  Is it true that John and Yoko used to go to the bathroom together? That is a lot of togetherness. I wish someone (a musician) loved me the way John loved Yoko. 

I was Yoko in a former life in college! lol In reality, here I am still writing love haikus for a happily married man, who doesn’t know that I exist.

Terrified/Ode to a drummer  (A haiku)

I felt terrified 

Standing in front of your gaze

Playing my heartbeat

Destiny did not take us to marriage.

 Wow!