The Los Angeles wildfires

 I’m not saying that I am blaming the Los Angeles wildfires on the U. Family but I am leaning towards the possibility that they are capable of bringing about that much chaos and destruction if they wanted to. The fact that they are convinced no one can stop them so they will do whatever they want to do is concerning. Evil E seems like a menace to society with nothing better to do than to reek small scale and perhaps large scale chaos for kicks and because they simply can. Who would ever know or could ever be able to prove it anyway while they are so far away in Venezuela. Well some are of them are. I still see them around in San Diego sometimes. I think they have the ability to travel back and forth from Venezuela to America whenever they please.

Because I find that they have some sort of clairvoyance with their hexes and spells, I find it to be apathetic to know when certain catastrophes are going to happen ahead of time and not use that information to alert and help people in advance. They really are selfish bastards who are probably sitting back laughing right now. I had one friend who I spent a lot of time with growing up also an aunt and two cousins who lived in Pacific Palisades and it’s upsetting to see the fire destruction that take so much from the residents of Pacific Palisades and everywhere in LA where the fires are raging  

This is related to climate change so DT’s comments on the California fires are angering. He is oblivious and offensive and he knows it. He’s not trying to be nice or play nice. He only cares about himself.

But back to Evil E, I believe he traveled with me in spirit to my last family reunion in Santa Barbara which I believe was two years ago? I remember talking to one of my cousins who grew up in Pacific Palisades and I randomly asked her about the Catholic Church in Pacific Palisades (Corpus Christi) that she attended growing up. My cousin looked at me curious why I was asking that. I think she knew the question may have been coming from a weird place. My family knows what I have been trying to tell them. They are watching me and wondering when things like that happen. The U family reveal themselves sometimes. They give people such scary dark somber vibes. It’s like go home. We invited Danielle to the family reunion. Not you. If they knew her church was going to burn down years before it happened, they are so messed up for just letting it happen and then sitting back and laughing about it later. They are so evil. They may have done that for revenge. They keep trying to get me back for stealing their cousins husband who I am not even with yet and have not touched much less talked to in person since college in the 90’s  Her evil family is thinking “you took something precious from our cousin who she loved and cherished with all her heart, so now we are going to do the same to your cherished cousins to F you all over, mess with your families minds, and show you how we feel! Scary folks! I am sorry these demons blame me for their cousins loveless marriage which brought her evil family into our lives. I feel helpless and to blame for all the bad things that happen to my loved ones because I don’t know if this is naturally occurring or the result of angry idiots hexing me and causing destruction around me.

Rethinking my epiphanies

 The other day I had or thought I had an epiphany about Billy Idols song “Eyes Without A Face.” Now I am thinking it wasn’t my epiphany that I was writing about. It was Esteban’s epiphany and he has a dirty mind! He plays with my mind. He works these evil messed up mind games with me, made more powerful with the use of his very weird and very twisted Santeria spells. I fear that my thoughts that I write or verbalize are not always coming from me. He has a lot influence over my thoughts and the conclusions that I make about many things.

I have expressed that he uses music to mess with my mind. I have been listening to music in my car since I first got my drivers license many years ago. It’s so natural and habitual for me to turn on the radio before I start driving, in anticipation of hearing some of my favorite songs. Esteban has been ruining my fun for years now. He gets a sick kick out of extinguishing all of my enjoyment. He lets me build up my hopes of a good time, only to be left feeling disappointed and sad. I have been feeling insecure lately driving, thanks to this whole mess. I feel like people are looking at me and making fun of the story I am putting out there. A portion of the people don’t believe me, a portion of the people judge me for my role in this, a portion of the people support me, and a portion are just studying me at stop lights to see if they see anything crazy happening with me. They usually see something at stop lights because Esteban loves humiliating me in front of audiences. He gets off on making a laughing stock out of me and having the last laugh.

A lot of the things he does seems minor. It has been barely noticeable for so long that it really has only been super obvious by accident. Esteban wants to do a bunch of crap that is so unnoticeable that he will never get caught so he can continue to mess up my life forever. He hopes nobody believes me or cares about this situation. If he is invisible and extremely careful, no one will ever connect the dots and he will never be accused of more serious illegal activities.

Today at a stoplight, I was listening to Tom Pettys “Into The Great Wide Open,” and Esteban was trying to convince me that when Tom Petty was saying “…and a roadie named Bart,” that he meant Bart Simpson. Was Tom Petty making fun of roadies? I have no idea. Maybe Tom Petty really had a roadie named Bart?! Who knows. The lyric may not have been a Simpsons reference or a joke about roadies. It’s not a super mean way to mess with me. The thing is, I just don’t want to talk to this asshole Esteban. He’s not my friend. He is not someone who I invited into my life, brain, or even into a silly conversation. I don’t want to talk to him, he but he forces me to every day. He inserts himself into my thoughts, without my permission. He spies  on  me with the use of Santeria and tries to manipulate me mentally and physically. I know that much of his evil deeds are far worse than anything you can see for a briefly  at a stoplight. I want to know what things in my life I have screwed up on my own, what things in my life are naturally occurring, and what has been negatively affected by Esteban and the U. family.

I have been smearing this family name for years. I have been detailing this publicly and on my blog here. You would wonder, “why haven’t they filed a case against me for slander?” Because  what I am saying is true and they know it. They don’t want me to countersue them for harassment and injury incurred by their malicious magic. I should have sought the advice of a criminal attorney of my own, years ago. What can we pursue against them to keep them away from me and to prevent them from continuing to mess with me in ways that I may not be aware of. For example, women have children born with Autism every day after a perfect responsible pregnancy. I don’t regret having my beautiful children and they are perfect in my eyes, but I wonder how far back this family has been watching me and messing with different things and people in my life. Before the U. family ever started saying all of the horrible things that they are now saying out loud to me, I believe this family was watching and making subtle changes to my life and health, as well as, to my loved ones. I am an internet sleuth and have been cyber stalking them right back. It always makes me wonder. What year did Trey meet Maeve? When did they start getting serious? When did Maeve start getting the notion that she wanted to marry Trey? Did she use any tricks or ask her families help to ensure they indeed went down the same path together? Did Trey ever mention me? I was just a girl from college and never his girlfriend. But I think when he would travel to Carlsbad thus may have made her suspicious from the start. We never met up or chatted one on one. With Santeria, they figured out what Trey was hiding from them. They knew his secret feelings and activities. Since Maeve’s evil cousins lived down here, they sized him up and saw what he was doing, behind her back. They were probably watching me from back when they were first dating. I think they met late 2007. That family is so crazy. Once one of them are into you, there is no way you are going to get out of that relationship or marriage, unless they let you out. If it’s a bitter break up, you can bet that you are going to get hexed too. I wonder what Trey is hearing or experiencing now that he finally left Maeve. I am scared for him and for me and my friends and family. What retaliation will strike now and how bad will it be? I’m scared and Trey hasn’t even made contact with me yet. I will keep you updated here if and when he does. Or perhaps I will stop posting here publicly at that time.

*** I have been thinking of a word to use instead of Black Magic because it isn’t accurate. Santeria is brown magic or to the U. specifically malicious magic. U. Family Fucked up magic.  Then again I don’t want to offend any Latinos, besides the U. Family specifically. I do want to offend them. They probably would be offended to be referred to as brown because they are very much white passing and full of themselves over their appearance. They wear the  most glamorous and expensive clothes than I have seen in my life. They look very comfortable and carefree in Caracas. I think the U. And G. Families have to be hoarding much of Venezuelas wealth somehow, because the majority of the country is struggling.

Billy Idol: I was today years old

 Like with everything in my life for the past 10 years, (noticeably that is, because this may have gone on for longer. I was just oblivious to it) So today I had an epiphany about the Billie Idol song “Eyes Without A Face.” I remember in college singing along to this song. It was randomly in my head. And some guy looked at me and simply said “Ew!” I had no idea why he would say that to me. I thought he was so rude. For a naive girl like me, I never really thought about what that meant. I just didn’t get it. I was today years old, when I was listening to this song and I finally got it! I mean, I think I got it! I may have only realized this because Esteban was laughing in his head about it. He didn’t use his words though. You would have to be a male to really get or appreciate what Billie Idol was talking about here. Eyes Without A Face? If he isn’t looking at your face, he must be referring to another pair of eyes. At almost 50 I finally understand! I am horrified, but I understand what he is saying. Maybe because my intention was to always keep my fourth eye closed, I was not thinking that I had a second pair of eyes. 

This is why we need more female musicians. Men like to write about sex. If they aren’t writing lyrics about sex or lyrics written with the intention of acquiring sex, what else are they writing about? 

Anyway, I was watching this TikTok where this man was complaining about his loneliness and frustration about how most men that he is encountering, want sex first. The dating and subsequent relationship happen after that initial experience, if the rest happens at all. A boy told me that in college and I didn’t want to believe it. I thought he was playing a trick on me to make me let him do what he wanted with me. I never did. But I do believe that is the order most men (at least secretly) want it to be. They don’t seem that interested in alot of chit chat or taking me on any kind of date, to get to know in a real sense or to be romantic. That puts a lot of pressure on women to make that initial sexual encounter off the charts sexy and memorable. Part of the problem is that teenage boys start to watch porn and get these high expectations of women, in their sexual encounters. Don’t get your hopes up! The average woman is not a porn star or a performer, trying to give you a 4 star experience and feed your ego.  I hate to disappoint you. We all know that if a woman gives it up too quickly, whether they impressed you or not, you judge them as being a whore and quickly move on to your next victim. If you do want to engage with me, look into my eyes! (On my face, that is)

Small talk about the new year

 People have been asking me the usual New Years questions. What are you doing for New Year’s? Do you have anything fun planned? No. Do you have any big plans for the New Year? Any New Year’s resolutions? No again.

I have been running myself ragged lately because my three children are on winter break. I have been, for the most part, the sole parent to keep the kids fed and entertained. Their father is a lazy hermit, with a bad attitude. He is depressed, as well, and practically bed bound. If he is not in the office at work, he is lying in bed. I fear people will blame me when the bed rot runs its course. It’s not my choice or preference for him to lay in bed all day. The bed is his favorite place to lounge. It’s his choice and it’s his life. I didn’t realize beforehand, that I was marrying Charlie’s grandpa  from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory  Oh, the things you learn after the wedding ceremony, when you actually move in together! Stephen is little help to me with the children and he certainly doesn’t help clean. He is a pack rat, who creates the majority of the mess and clutter, as opposed to cleaning it. 

So what’s going to be different about 2025?  Nothing, most likely. 2025 is going to be exactly the same as 2024. . I am in the exact same place, doing the exact same thing that I did last year. It’s Groundhog Year for me. Every year is basically the same, except I am getting older and I am physically feeling my age. Not much has improved, since I first got hexed. Well ok, I moved back in with my children’s father, so I can be with my children. I love my children and I love living with them full time, so that’s the silver lining. Stephen isn’t so bad either. He helps in some ways. Our relationship is friendly, and we put up with each other fairly well, so that’s good . My father is still alive, so I appreciate that and my other family who live close to me. I have helpful, loving siblings and a fun, supportive group of friends too. I know that I shouldn’t complain or be so pessimistic. I am a glass half empty kind of person, unfortunately. 

My wish for the new year is for the criminal case against my enemies to make progress. Let’s get some evidence together, so we can figure out how to stop them from hexing me and prosecute them. I would like to feel less messed with mentally, by my enemies and by the man who is at the center of this drama. I never got an apology or closure, or got any closer to him. He doesn’t appear to be affected, by what is happening to me. He appears to care less and even find this flattering/amusing. He secretly loves that two women are fighting over him. He has been no help or support to me, throughout this whole ordeal. This begs the question, is he really worth this terrorizing roller coaster? I’m personally not having fun with this. I have enough to do and enough stress in my life already. I’m too busy for this drama! Crappy Poo Year! 

Ok I take that last part back. I am going to be 50 years old on January 27th.  I am going to focus on speaking and acting with maturity and grace starting today. I want to also work on being more positive and optimistic.