Our love story

I can’t tell if our love story is more like the Betty Broderick story or Fatal Attraction. When I was in junior high school, my family and I went on vacation to Canada. We were staying at The Chateau at Lake Louise. There wasn’t much to do, but enjoy the scenery.  When we were in our hotel room at night, I noticed that the hotel didn’t have any good tv channels. They had one porn channel that we obviously didn’t want to watch. They also had Fatal Attraction on repeat. There were no other movies, just Fatal Attraction. This movie creeped me out and triggered my anxiety then and even more so now. I now know firsthand, the lengths people will go to punish romantic rivals who tempt their husbands. Affairs and mate poaching are always a total train wreck! Husbands/cheaters always assume that the affair partner will go along with their sexual shenanigans, enjoy the casual sex, and go away easily. Women are different than men though. I know my libido is much weaker than any mans. I need to know the person. I need to like the person. I want to respect and trust them ultimately, as well. Women are wired to look for mates who are kind, supportive, and good providers. We think very long term.  Think “life mates” Delusion me also hopes for eventually finding a “soulmate.” I always have been totally confused and shocked the more I learned how different women are from men. The deceit and sneaking around behind a partners back doesn’t work for me. I would end up beating myself up and seeing my affair partner as they truly are, a lying cheat and a terrible option for a life mate. The mistake men make is assuming that women are just like men. Most women do not benefit from casual sex and one night stands. We do develop feelings for the men we have sex with. We naively go along with these notions because we hope and are made to believe that the man targeting us want to move forward with us and they truly think that we are a better fit for them than their original partner.  Men who have affairs really intend to do the deed on the side, get it out of their system, and go back to their wives. Affairs don’t work in women’s favor. It’s a no win situation for the wife or the female affair partner. Affairs can definitely stir up frightening reactions on the partners who are cheated on or get abandoned for a new partner. The police will tell you that the scariest 911 calls they get are domestic violence calks. Domestic violence happens so frequently. Infidelity is the leading cause of the domestic violence situations and can oftentimes be deadly. My Santeria story illustrates this . Be forewarned! You never know how the parties involved in affairs or “mate poaching” will respond, when their partner (and the home wrecking affair partner) betrays them and breaks their heart.