Please don’t have children of your own, Evil E!

 It’s Leadfoot here again, begging you not to procreate and spawn an evil demonic mini you! Evil E’s interesting new trick is weighing me down while I am jogging. It’s a great trick that is very on-brand for the U. family because it’s so perfectly sneaky. You can’t really pin this on them because I am 50 years old, obese, and trying to get back into jogging after not jogging for the last 20 years.  I actually was so self conscious and didn’t have the mental motivation to seriously go outside and begin for the longest time. We moved to this hilly neighborhood. I didn’t want to start off on hills but I have also been too uncomfortable to run along the beach. So I just remained stagnant. It finally dawned on me that I should put my insecurities aside and do this for myself. Who cares what anybody else thinks? I just needed to prepare myself for a rocky start. I realized that I needed to stretch first and keep trying to push through my mental barriers in order to progress. I didn’t realize and could never anticipate that these shenanigans by Evil E were contributing to my jogging struggles. He was literally holding me back and adding so much weight that I really struggled and still do. He is still having so much fun finding new ways to mess me up, discourage, and abuse me in every kind of way. Anyway hindsight is 20/20. I know what he is doing now and I hope everyone else does too. I am sorry he has so much free time on his hands, being the spoiled brat that he is. Thank you, in advance, for showing the world what an asshole you are (E and the rest of your family) and showing us how important it is to learn about this in order to hold people accountable and to fight off any attack like this.