Ok so maybe his tragic flaw or a major flaw and barrier to getting anywhere with K is he still prefers the thrill of the hunt. He knew he could have had a sure thing more or less with me in college. All he had to do was be monogamous with me. Get into a relationship with me which involves spending time together chatting, while sober. Hanging out together in the daylight sober hours was not something he was willing to do with me. He was unwilling and uninterested in doing that. He was busy. He preferred remaining open to the possibility of a random new and exciting drunk girl throwing it at him in college. He was the drummer in a band and saw the potential for that happening at gigs. It was wishful thinking at least.
He matured more and got married. He finally got serious and settled down. He has had that sure thing at home and has been working to adhere to the confines of a monogamous marriage. He is certainly capable of doing that. It’s not an impossible thing to do.
When he got married, I became the exciting random woman from college that he wanted. It isn’t any kind of compliment to me really. He’s still non serious. He’s just looking. It messed with my mind very hard because I misunderstood his drive bys. I should have known that he hasn’t changed.
My obesity definitely is a great insecurity to me. The fact that he kept stalking me at every weight I have been, wasn’t an indication of true love. He is a stalker. He is mad at himself for fumbling the bag and doesn’t want to see me happy. I don’t want him spying on me for the fucked up purpose of reassuring himself that he dodged a bullet choosing L over me. Anyway that’s all these drive bys are. He will always be my college stalker who is using me to feed his ego. He wouldn’t choose me, because of my weight, mental health, my family, my children, where I live. He’s just passing through, so have a nice trip!
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