More memes anyone?
Wednesday, January 9, 2019
Monday, January 7, 2019
Saturday, January 5, 2019
Delusions of Reference
I suffer from delusions of reference. (See link below to the Wikipedia page about this.)
Let me explain. I have put effort into promoting my blog and book on the internet. At this point, I think that people around town notice me daily. They will either comment about me or laugh at me. Basically, I feel that I have become a small town celebrity in Carlsbad. I also have earned my fair share of haters, because of this. I think I see my stalkers driving around town laughing at me or just leering at me.
I have delusions of reference pertaining to Facebook. Now that all the profile pictures are public, I think that my stalkers are peeping my photos. Certain people who live locally, that I know are Facebook friends with my stalker/obsession, follow me around too.
As soon as I realized that two of Keith's friends live in my neighborhood, my delusions and voice hallucinations got kickstarted. This situation has always been too close for comfort. Living in north county coastal San Diego, everyone and their mother comes here on vacation. I do not blame them. San Diego is beautiful. It is just that, in living here, my delusions will be never-ending.
I tried flying elsewhere, to escape the voices in my head and delusions around town. It never worked. The stress of traveling only compounded my problems. The voices actually kicked up a few notches while traveling. I still have no desire to drive too far or fly.
Then there is the whole flattery of it all. If I were in a foreign place, where my stalkers were not, would I begin to miss them? I would go back to my ordinary life. I can't imagine a life without my imaginary friends, love interests, and haters. That is out of the cards for me anyway. I will always retain my imaginary life (delusions and hallucinations) to some degree, as my medication does not work 100% well.
Maybe I have it all wrong. No one I know probably ever reads my blog anyway. LOL
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ideas_of_reference_and_delusions_of_reference
I suffer from delusions of reference. (See link below to the Wikipedia page about this.)
Let me explain. I have put effort into promoting my blog and book on the internet. At this point, I think that people around town notice me daily. They will either comment about me or laugh at me. Basically, I feel that I have become a small town celebrity in Carlsbad. I also have earned my fair share of haters, because of this. I think I see my stalkers driving around town laughing at me or just leering at me.
I have delusions of reference pertaining to Facebook. Now that all the profile pictures are public, I think that my stalkers are peeping my photos. Certain people who live locally, that I know are Facebook friends with my stalker/obsession, follow me around too.
As soon as I realized that two of Keith's friends live in my neighborhood, my delusions and voice hallucinations got kickstarted. This situation has always been too close for comfort. Living in north county coastal San Diego, everyone and their mother comes here on vacation. I do not blame them. San Diego is beautiful. It is just that, in living here, my delusions will be never-ending.
I tried flying elsewhere, to escape the voices in my head and delusions around town. It never worked. The stress of traveling only compounded my problems. The voices actually kicked up a few notches while traveling. I still have no desire to drive too far or fly.
Then there is the whole flattery of it all. If I were in a foreign place, where my stalkers were not, would I begin to miss them? I would go back to my ordinary life. I can't imagine a life without my imaginary friends, love interests, and haters. That is out of the cards for me anyway. I will always retain my imaginary life (delusions and hallucinations) to some degree, as my medication does not work 100% well.
Maybe I have it all wrong. No one I know probably ever reads my blog anyway. LOL
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ideas_of_reference_and_delusions_of_reference
Thursday, January 3, 2019
When your only therapy site makes you miserable
I try to keep it light on my blog, because I am basically happy. Life isn't perfect. It could be better, but I am happy. Today on the schizophrenia.com forums, I got into it with a moderator. I understand that the people running the site are also schizophrenic. I should empathize with them. I just get off that site, many times feeling worse, than when I went on. I try to crack jokes and no one is in the mood. For the most part, I feel that the people who frequent that site are down on their luck and miserable. I am afraid to post pictures of me with my kiddos smiling, and I do not dare share my good times, because I doubt it would help others. It would probably make them feel worse.
Even the site moderators are miserable. This one mod, TreeBeard, called me passive-aggressive and ignorant today. I don't need that in my life. He should be fired for that. People on that site try to take the wind out of my sails a lot. I may not go back. I like sharing some things that are posted on that site here. But as far as socializing goes, I would rather not. Those people are such downers and I actually get along better with non-mentally ill people. I feel blessed that I can have healthy friendships and relationships. I am curious about other schizophrenics, but I can't seem to get along with other schizophrenics. I find that so odd!
As flawed as schizophrenia.com is, that is the only website that I know of, where I can learn more about my illness and also meet other schizophrenics. I feel so alone sometimes, in terms of that. I am high-functioning, but still suffer from schizoffective disorder, and no one that I know can relate to that.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201611/5-signs-youre-dealing-passive-aggressive-person
OK I googled passive aggressive to try and see where Treebeard was coming from. I am actually not that offended by this definition. It beats being aggressive and defensive, like Treebeard. I found his post about China to be off-topic and unsupportive. He is such a hypocrite. There was a post about the dark side of the moon, which intrigued me, and I saw that a mod (Treebeard) posted some demeaning comments about the Chinese government on it. I didn't see what that had to do with the dark side of the moon or schizophrenia for that matter. When I called him on it, he flagged me. He couldn't take my dissent. That was just odd. Those power-flaunting mods! Hypocrites, all of them!
I try to keep it light on my blog, because I am basically happy. Life isn't perfect. It could be better, but I am happy. Today on the schizophrenia.com forums, I got into it with a moderator. I understand that the people running the site are also schizophrenic. I should empathize with them. I just get off that site, many times feeling worse, than when I went on. I try to crack jokes and no one is in the mood. For the most part, I feel that the people who frequent that site are down on their luck and miserable. I am afraid to post pictures of me with my kiddos smiling, and I do not dare share my good times, because I doubt it would help others. It would probably make them feel worse.
Even the site moderators are miserable. This one mod, TreeBeard, called me passive-aggressive and ignorant today. I don't need that in my life. He should be fired for that. People on that site try to take the wind out of my sails a lot. I may not go back. I like sharing some things that are posted on that site here. But as far as socializing goes, I would rather not. Those people are such downers and I actually get along better with non-mentally ill people. I feel blessed that I can have healthy friendships and relationships. I am curious about other schizophrenics, but I can't seem to get along with other schizophrenics. I find that so odd!
As flawed as schizophrenia.com is, that is the only website that I know of, where I can learn more about my illness and also meet other schizophrenics. I feel so alone sometimes, in terms of that. I am high-functioning, but still suffer from schizoffective disorder, and no one that I know can relate to that.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-superhuman-mind/201611/5-signs-youre-dealing-passive-aggressive-person
OK I googled passive aggressive to try and see where Treebeard was coming from. I am actually not that offended by this definition. It beats being aggressive and defensive, like Treebeard. I found his post about China to be off-topic and unsupportive. He is such a hypocrite. There was a post about the dark side of the moon, which intrigued me, and I saw that a mod (Treebeard) posted some demeaning comments about the Chinese government on it. I didn't see what that had to do with the dark side of the moon or schizophrenia for that matter. When I called him on it, he flagged me. He couldn't take my dissent. That was just odd. Those power-flaunting mods! Hypocrites, all of them!
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Here is an interview with the son of gifted mathematician, John Nash. John Nash Jr. inherited schizophrenia from his father. I have three children who are all on the Autism spectrum. I fear that I may also have passed on the schizophrenia gene to them. My ten year old daughter is very bright but having behavioral problems. I pray that none of my children inherit my schizophrenia. I am watching them closely for it. My daughters already discuss having families of their own, when they grow up. At this point in time, they both want to adopt, rather than have their own children. I think that is for the best.
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Trump: Ask Warren's psychiatrist if she thinks she can win in 2020
https://www.politico.com/story/2019/01/01/trump-warren-psychiatrist-1077366
Here we go again. Donald Trump is such a jerk! He mocks the handicapped. He mocks the mentally ill. He implies women are delusional for wanting to run against him. He shames people for possibly needing a psychiatrist.
Donald Trump needs a psychiatrist! He is manic. He is a narcissist. He is a total mess! His macho ignorance and offensiveness have sealed his fate. He will be a one term president at best, if he is not impeached first.
Vote Democrat! Get Donald Trump out of office!
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