Mama said knock you out!

 Yup that boy in the background didn’t know what hit him! Watch out world! Here I come!

Me a hiking goddess from the start

 Yup starting young on the trails! You can see I kept that up! Here I am at The Grand Canyon!

People can surprise you!

 People can surprise you! People can evolve. As my 30 year high school reunion approaches, my graduating class is creating a photo montage of high school memories .I was pretty antisocial in high school and therefore never invited to any parties! I graduated very detached from the majority of my class. I had a friend who posted a flattering picture of me in the collage recently. Surprise! Surprise! I always thought this friend was jealous of me and not a real friend, but here you go. Maybe she just posted this picture from a school fashion show because she looked good. Maybe she didn’t have an individual picture of herself because we walked down the runway together. That’s me in the middle though. The only reason I was in the fashion show was because I was a senior and my mother put in a lot of volunteer hours with the mothers club and requested that I be in it.

Monday night realization

 I have come to the realization that becoming a doctor increases a man’s attractiveness level exponentially. My mother and I have always swooned over cute and brainy male doctors. I feel like my mother used to flirt with my good friends doctor dad, to the chagrin of her mother. I also think that contributed to why her mother never liked me. Her Dad looked like friggin’ Gomez Addams anyway . He carried himself in a very regal way. I thought he was a bit arrogant and condescending. He used to correct me when I called him Mr. Instead of Dr..

I believe that my mother would crush too hard on her male primary care physician late in life too. Yes, he was intelligent and respected, but the doctor thing just completely blinded her to his actual level of physical attractiveness  Ah well! My mother and her primary care physician are both dead now. Together, at last! 

On that note, I am unfortunately reminded that I am in the same boat as my mother, In reality, my college crush-turned-handsome doctor is happily married and living his best life by the beach in Santa Cruz. I will probably not reconnect with Trey until we both meet our maker and bump into each other at an ever-stimulating Nervous Sheep concert/party in the sky!

Womens insecurities and male plastic surgeons

 When people complain about women relying on plastic surgery to boost their self esteem and attract men, I get defensive. Yes women’s (my) vanity is an issue. But a bigger piece of the puzzle is  the fact that we so greatly seek male validation and attracting the male gaze. I admit it. I love when random men look at me and I get the impression that they are attracted to me. Around here, it doesn’t always get you far. We have extremely long stop lights and men spend their time frequently “female watching.” I get more flattered by men that I am actually attracted to. But the majority of men are just looking and probably have wives or live in girlfriends at least. 

There have been times in my life that I focused on a flaw in my appearance and chalked it up as the reason why I was single or not hooked up with someone who I was super attracted to. Anyway growing up in LA, California and now San Diego, California, I have always felt the competition here is stiff. People use plastic surgery to even the playing field and to reduce their own insecurities. I have used it. My mistake has been in trusting men simply because they were a doctor. A lot of plastic surgeons are just grifters. The doctor that I went to get a tummy tuck from pointed out new flaws that I didn’t even think of and talked me into a bunch of other things I wouldn’t have otherwise done. Why did I listen to his unsolicited opinion? Because he was a doctor, a male doctor and there is the grift! Doctors will point out flaws that you didn’t even think of and talk you into things under the guise of he’s trying to help you. He also told me that my breasts were too small and he ended up shoving some fat into them during the liposuction process. I didn’t give him permission to do that and then he tagged it  onto my bill, after the fact. Oh well! At least my breasts look good (for now!) But it seems like plastic surgeons always help you, possibly, with one thing,, and then completely screw something else up! Then you have to go and get that fixed! That’s why you can never really win with plastic surgery. The plastic surgery industry is rigged! You will probably never be satisfied with work done . Anyway, knowing that, has steered me away from plastic surgery addiction. I am 481/2 years old and although I have done some things in regards to plastic surgery, I have never done any Botox/ fillers and I actually think that I am done with all that. I would love for people to say that I aged gracefully. I am not 100% sure that is in the cards but “knock on wood”that I don’t cave in or ever seriously need a face lift! 

Oh, my original point was don’t blame women for their plastic surgery addiction, as if it was not caused by some unreal misogynistic female ideal that we are not supposed to age or god forbid gain weight. Don’t give me that women just have body dysmorphia. Behind every botched/overdone woman, there is a trusted male plastic surgeon telling them that they look great and to keep coming back for more work!

Love is truly blind!

Talk about a relationship that was doomed from the start! This is a funny sketch where both characters on the date seem oddly familiar . I love it when people fly under the radar in terms of mental health, never get the professional help that they need, and force everyone to deal with their undiagnosed insanity. There probably is a pill out there that would help Meegan but the next hurdle is getting her to admit that there is a problem and to take the pill that she needs. Also I do not how her date Andre can be so dumb as to not see the red flags waving all around Meegan. 

You will notice that the female is the crazy one in this sketch, but men are definitely no better in showing respect and patience to their waitpersons. Men can ruin your dining experience in a heartbeat with their rudeness, their high expectations, and their infantile reactions to the natural delays and mishaps that can occur while dining out.

Ok back to Meegan. I leave you with this question: Do you think that Meegan could benefit from an antipsychotic?

I was today years old…

 I was today years old when I first heard this fantastic song. My new anthem! Thank you to Harry Belafonte for writing this and to the Geateful Dead for turning me onto it!