Maybe he was right...

I just flashbacked to an experience when I was younger. It’s crazy when that happens to me.  In my late teens I met an older guy that I instantly disliked. Although he was good-looking and well-put together, I found myself repelled by his arrogance. He was in a fraternity at my sisters college and they were friends. Seeing that I was young and judging him, he called me Holden Cauffield from The Catcher In The Rye. He told me that I was still in my Holden Cauffield phase. What did he mean by that? He used a classic book reference to put me down and lord over me. Was the reference over my head? I just read the book in high school and didn’t see much of myself in Holden although I found him likeable. So what did he mean by that? I was immature and trying to make sense of the world and everyone in it? Or was it a curse because I wasn’t swooning over this good-looking, well-put together, and well-educated man? As I re-read about the book today I wondered. Holden ends up in a mental institution at the end of the book.  Maybe that was his judgement of me, I was either gay or crazy and maybe he was right. If that is the case so be it and I am fine with it. So the curse didn’t hurt me after all, because I am fine being viewed that way. I guess I am saying I don’t care what he thinks anyway!