Why have you been so irritable lately?

 Why have you been so irritably lately? I don’t understand! I’m worried about you! You need to get over yourself, because you are too much drama and you are stressing us out!

I am irritable because I do believe everyone is talking about me behind my back and making jokes to my face and behind my back! Don’t break the 4th Wall right? Don’t ever be honest with me about what you are all thinking and saying about me behind my back! We are done with being good family members and friends! This is just too much for us to handle! The man from college who came out of the woodwork because he is in love with you is just so sweet. We want him for ourselves and are 100% cool with chatting with him behind your back.  Meanwhile, I sit helpless in a hell created by you. A newfound notoriety came as a result of this scandalous love triangle. I blame him! Everyone I know is lying to me and no one is helping to comfort me about what is really going on with me. Everyone’s jealousy and inability to feel empathy is becoming more and more apparent. Random trolls on the street chime in, even though this is none of their goddamb business! You all want to deflate my ego and put me back in my place! What the F is so goddamn funny? You are not funny, at all! You are just mean and annoying! Why do you get a kick off on annoying me? I proclaimed here, before Trey even got the nerve to leave his wife, that we already need couples therapy.  You are pissing me off already! Are you really this annoying? Great! The10 year hesitation still gets to me. How severe are your mental health issues and can I accept them as they are? What is my threshold for the level of stress that I will accept if she become a part of my life? Can I accept everything about her and everyone that comes along with her? Do I have to step it up, in order for this union to become reality? Do I have to lose weight? I am convinced that me moving back in with my family and gaining all the weight back kept Trey at bay for years! How long does he need to sit and think about this? He had everything already! His wife didn’t want kids! She never gained weight! She was there for him whenever he wanted her. I suspect he wants to make sure that I will always appreciate him and act appropriately with him and not embarrass or disrespect him. (After all he has done for me). Don’t take things so personally, right? Because it’s a drag to be called out for the things you say and do to mess with me. I do think that you are messing around a lot right now, but you want to play it off, gaslight, and make jokes, so you have to think or hear about it. I need to be “perfect” to show you that I am up to your standards and worth it, right? At the same time, I feel like you have been acting like a sneaky, immature asshole. I  am upset with you. I don’t get it. The man I wanted to marry in college, low key felt the same way (kind of), but he wanted to put me on hold for 10 years or so. He didn’t keep in touch, then he got pissed when I tried to move on and get married? How should I have known your intentions? Should I even regret moving past you? You eventually decided to check me out again and again before seriously stepping up to the plate. You have been married this whole time, but have been traveling down here from Santa Cruz, behind your wife’s back. And she is livid with me?! What? You are the perfect choice person to ruin my life! After all this time, you started making motions to set things up, so we could be together, like monitoring me from a distance, talking to everyone I know, including my female friends and family, (and my brother who I am pissed at too) instead of me. You have helped to create a Truman show effect to my life. You are already talking to my girlfriends (about me) but not me directly. You are an asshole! You want to feel me out first and mess with me, to see how jealous and angry I get. You are trying to make me jealous and see my reaction which is just straight up mental abuse. “I’m just teasing you!”  I want you to know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of my anger, narcissistic manipulation, and abuse. Good to know! I am not a lab rat, 🐀 who has no control over my circumstances and can be manipulated into different situations, to see my  reactions! I should just use my notoriety to run off with the hottest and best guy I can find. You are already trying to portray yourself as Mr. Sensitivity, sweet, and romantic, to all the women I know. You are clearly bullshitting all of them, so I can never turn to them when things get tough. Zero sympathy will emit from these women, I know. They are already jealous. Is my friend/sibling trouble, my fault?  They are all lying to me and withholding information.  I will never trust anyone I know again because of you!! Having random women drive past me with you, to make me jealous, is so F’d  up! I don’t think you have even filed for divorce, but you are already down here and (probably) dating random, local women. You want me to think that, at least. You get off on making me jealous. No man is worth ruining your life for, even it’s Mr good looking blonde surfing doctor who played drums in a band, where you went to college.