https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/brian-wilson-tour-postponed-845180/

Feel better Brian Wilson! I can’t imagine going on the road with this illness. The rigors of the music industry seem insane. I couldn’t imagine living with the pressure of touring in addition to schizoaffective disorder. Most of us are unemployed and on disability. My illness definitely impedes my work. I am blessed to be a stay at home Mom. I still work hard but I manage it just fine.

Traveling stresses me out and triggers my voices. Social anxiety and meeting new people can trigger my voices.  He does that every day on the road.  Thinking that people don’t like me or are upset with me triggers my voices.  I imagine that it is much like that for Brian Wilson. He is a perfectionist and puts a lot of pressure on himself. Imagine trying to perform with the same skill and passion as you did in your youth.  I always pay attention to news stories about Brian Wilson because we both have schizoaffective disorder and I am curious about his struggles and how he deals with them. Will my schizoaffective disorder get worse as I age? Hopefully not!

Funny meme. I have heard this level of ridiculously bad advice from within my own mind before. Don’t do it! Don’t listen to them! They are just trying to mess you up. Could you imagine if I just blindly followed the advice of the voices in my head? I would be in serious trouble.

So I purchased a Kirkus book review for my novella, The Voices,  which is available on Amazon. Here is what they had to say. I could have included more information about my family and childhood. I needed to explain a lot more of the story than I did. It’s hard to explain not to mention embarrassing.
The reviewer pointed out that I don’t have a religious delusion, it’s a racist one. I should have expected to be slammed a bit but ouch!

THE VOICES
Danielle Flore
Self (68 pp.)
$6.00 paperback, $4.50 e-book
ISBN: 978-0-692-95696-0; September 20, 2017
BOOK REVIEW
In this debut psychological thriller, a California woman hears voices that relentlessly torment her.
Chiara Marino has a happy childhood growing up in a Roman Catholic home. But she rebels in her teens and experiments with drugs, from high school into college. She becomes infatuated with fellow college student Trey Sanders, a drummer in a local band. Though the two never interact, Chiara misses him post-graduation and becomes despondent, certain she’s lost her “soul mate.” She later begins hearing Trey’s voice, leading to a psychologist’s diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. Antipsychotic meds help, and in 2004, 20-something Chiara marries Stephen, and the couple have three children. But after nearly a decade, she stops taking her meds to lose “pregnancy weight,” and her obsession with Trey as well as his voice returns. Chiara finds Trey online and peruses his Facebook page along with the profiles of his wife, Hayley, and her two friends Matteo and Valentina. Then Trey’s comforting presence leaves only to be replaced by Hayley’s and her friends’ voices. The three persistently rebuke Chiara as a homewrecker despite her superficial contact with Trey. Even with Chiara back on her meds, the voices won’t leave her alone, straining both her well-being and her family life. Flore effectively reveals the mindset of a schizoaffective. The voices’ incessantness, for example, is apparent via repetition, particularly their oft-uttered, vague threat, “Be forewarned.” As the entire story is from Chiara’s perspective, there’s little indication as to how her condition affects Stephen and their kids. Still, her agony is undeniable, as she periodically ends up in mental hospitals. Meanwhile, the voices assert they’re “hexing” Chiara, who blames Santeria or voodoo for her predicament. Though the white protagonist addresses the perceived racism, it’s unconvincing and contradictory. She claims a “religious psychosis” is at fault but later questions why Santeria and voodoo are protected by law. At the same time, the atypical but captivating narrator is unreliable, with her birthdate changing and new voices appearing without preamble or explanation.
A sometimes-erratic but consistently absorbing novella about a serious mental illness.

I tripped out when I saw this today. Guns N Roses are playing a festival in New Orleans called Voodoofest. If you love New Orleans and practice voodoo then you have to go. Danileigh will be there. This lady has got moves! That must be the Dani part. LOL "I'm the best you never had."

Just a corny joke for you.

Tonight my rant has little to do with my mental health journey. As a result of time spent off my meds, I was separated from my husband briefly in 2014. I tried online dating for some attention/company and met jerk after jerk after jerk. One guy that I met on Plenty of Fish (a website as bad as Tinder) told me that he used to play in the band LA Guns. I didn't completely believe him and wasn't really impressed. Why do guys look at me and think that I would be impressed by that? I don't like any of their songs.

But this guy , who lives in Leucadia, thought that  I  recognized him because he is sooo famous or something. (In his own mind, at least) LOL People are strange. The lies men tell are comical. People who think they are famous when they are nobody are comical too.

So I went on YouTube and Wikipedia to see if he was really in LA Guns and how would I ever know for sure? LA Guns wear so much horrid make-up and hair dye they are unrecognizable. So fake! When I met him he kinda looked like a blondish San Diego surfer. Well meeting him was a complete waste of time. Just another loser I met in my brief dating venture. I am better off single. LOL
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/L.A._Guns

I will not post a video here because I really don't like any of their music. LOL So bad!

Why do I feel like Kitty Genovese in this scenario? Today I was on the social networking website, Nextdoor. One neighbor reported to the police the sounds of screaming from within a passing car. No one has been reported missing yet. It is reassuring to know that my neighbors would stick their neck out to help in an emergency.

I read about the murder of Kitty Genovese today where many neighbors heard and may have seen her murder but did nothing to help her. I feel that way sometimes. When I hear voices, especially when the voices tell me that they are coming from my enemies, I wonder how to stop the voices from harassing me. What did I do to deserve this? I put this blog out there for the world to see. If people know that I am being hexed, why don't they intervene? No one does anything to stop these individuals. No one ever addresses what is happening to me. Basically, no one believes me or is willing to help. It is a hopeless situation because no one thinks this is anything more than the byproduct of my mental illness. Just wait and see...

Someone expressed an unpopular opinion on Twitter today.  This person said that every movie is the same. It is always about a cheating husband or someone getting  murdered. What I have to say is that cheating has been going on since the beginning of time. Movies often reflect what is going on in society. Men have always checked out other women. I see it every day.  This goes on even with the happiest of couples. How far they take it-from looking to flirting to actual physical contact varies from individual to individual. I am defensive because my story, The Voices, involves extramarital flirting and temptation. It is a very relevant and juicy story. I dream of making a movie about it someday.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kitty_Genovese

Leigh: Yes, you are trying to make a movie out of your misery. Be forewarned.

Sometimes I think Leigh is talking to me and it morphs into Federica mid-sentence. I don't know who is talking to me. Really, it is so confusing!

Esteban: You are dead meat for blogging everything that we say to you. You are digging your own grave. Be forewarned.

My daughters and I had so much fun at the San Diego County Fair today! I remembered to take my Xanax beforehand and it was smooth sailing. I did not hear one voice!

 Great photo op, huh? I honestly felt so awkward wearing these leis. Not to mention, I had a parrot on each shoulder. One parrot kept trying to eat my lei. LOL My daughters look absolutely beautiful though.

A highlight of the fair is the crazy, creative food. Here I am posing with my gingerbread cake. Yum!