What are the odds that a schizoaffective sister would be the most in touch with reality of all her siblings? I have three siblings and at least one of them expressed to me apprehension that one of their aspiring writer siblings would write an autobiography slandering them. I don’t think any of my siblings read/care enough to read my blog and see how I am doing. I could pepper my blog with stories about them because I have a lot to say.. All three of them get on my nerves at times. No one in my family believes or wants to believe that my diagnosis of mental illness is genetic. They believe it is simply a case of me smoking too much weed starting in junior high and experimenting with drugs that they would never try. So now that I am fully medicated and under the care of a psychiatrist who I see regularly, I wonder why I am the sanest of my siblings? Their stories and the things that they believe, drift off into fantasy all the time. I know delusional when I see it. My family and I were raised Catholic and have some spiritual beliefs that many consider highly suspicious and that we cannot prove. So it is partly that. I want to call myself Catholic, like my family does, but I am trying not to say weird things that many people don’t believe. I don’t want to be called a liar or a loony, although I am diagnosed schizoaffective. My medication keeps me calm and grounded. Unfortunately my family is out of their minds. I have a really hard time talking to them. They are always agitated too. I think my siblings need to step up their medication hardcore to what I am taking. One of my sisters is unstable and highly religious which combines into comical kooky stories. Recently she told me that she is positive that the bird that she keeps seeing in her backyard is one of our dead relatives visiting her. Really? The bird is not simply using your bird feeder? Why do all of my siblings get visits from dead relatives? I never receive visits from my mother who passed on. I also don’t credit everything good that happens to praying to my deceased mother. I can’t credit or blame anyone for the way my life turned out really. It is what it is. I am just trying to make the best out of my life. I was very close with my mother, while she was alive. I still love her. I miss her. I thank her and my Dad for giving me life. When I look at pictures I try to remember her and reminisce about the good times. But I am realistic. I just don’t feel mother’s presence anymore. I hoped that I would feel her, but I don’t. She is gone. I try to make myself feel better by thinking logically. If the bird in my sisters backyard is really my dead brother-in-law, why would he visit her and not my other sister who was his wife or his son? She wishes that he would visit her but no, I don’t believe it. It’s impossible! Unfortunately because of the stigma associated with mental illness and all the sucky side effects of psychiatric medication, no one in my immediate family is taking the medication that they need and they never will! I just have to deal with their imbalances if I want to keep in contact with them.
Thursday, March 9, 2023
Trying to lose weight naturally
I changed my antipsychotic and I do feel a little less hungry, which should help me eventually. I am not going to take Wegovy or Ozempic. I don’t want to take diabetes medication away from diabetics who really need it. I also don’t want to start a weight loss medication that I will be stuck on for the rest of my life. I don’t want to gain the weight back after dealing with those shots and all the side effects I dealt with to lose the weight! Diabetes injections like Wegovy increase your risk of thyroid cancer anyway. I want to lose weight the old fashioned way, which will take forever but that’s ok.
Matteo: So you are trying to lose weight and researching how to do that? Well it isn’t brain surgery but even if you found the recipe for success, it would not be possible for you. We are hexing you to remain fat forever! Ketosis? What about ketosis? The only thing you need to know about ketosis is that you’re not in it! You are never in ketosis because you are constantly eating. Take a break from eating ok? You have to stop feeding your face! Drink water to mask your hunger! It’s that simple. You are too stupid to figure out the Keto diet and be successful at it, so be forewarned!
Wednesday, March 8, 2023
What is it about blonde hair?
Why do you always look his way
You catch a glimpse of blonde hair
And you sit there mesmerized
Remember to keep your eyes on the road
And keep your mind busy with other thoughts
It’s not really him anyway
He is just a random blonde stranger
Who caught your gaze
Quit staring at beautiful blonde passersby
Hoping that it’s him
For he moved past you
A long time ago
Maeve: Quit milking the flowery, lovey dovey compliments about my husband. He is just a man, a very married man. I know that you have ulterior motives and you can’t be trusted. For you it’s not even sexual, it’s monetary. You are a gold digger! You are probably a lesbian anyway. You want to marry my husband and live happily ever after? Well it’s never gonna happen so save your crappy poetry for someone else! Be forewarned!
Matteo: Danielle looves blonde hair! She wants what she can’t have and what she will never be. She will never be a beautiful blonde or the bride of a beautiful blonde. Be forewarned! You aren’t blonde enough or beautiful enough for Trey Sanders. Maeve is all of that and then some, so leave her and Trey alone and just eat your heart out! Be forewarned!
Sunday, March 5, 2023
Someone walked up the path to my doorstep last night
Some guy walked up the pathway of my house all the way to my doorstep last night at 9:30 pm. He didn’t trip the motion detection floodlight on the pathway. I heard some rustling outside, saw a silhouette through the slats of my blinds and also saw that his phone light was on. I got up and said out loud “What is that? What is going on?” I was in the front bedroom right by the front door. Unfortunately I do not think it was my secret admirer. It seems more like a porch pirate, or a potential burglar casing our house. Wow! Why us? He took one look in our kitchen window and left. We are literally sloppy pack rats. No one wants to steal Stephen’s Star Wars action figures or my wardrobe a la Amazon,. Our most valuable items are our children and our cats, which triggers a bigger fear in me. What if this guy is a child trafficker? We need to get a doorbell camera and protect the premises quick! Here is some information below that the prowler probably knew, about how to not trip someone’s home floodlights. Scary!
Saturday, March 4, 2023
Wednesday, March 1, 2023
I hope you find a Sagittarius really soon!
My most compatible sign (according to this astrologer) is Leo! 💗