Hiking with a wonderful person!

 

Feeling a certain way tonight

 So I am usually paranoid concerning my future and my love life. Usually my paranoia is baseless…most likely. Tonight I want to vent about something else that is giving me situational paranoia which I believe is unrelated to my mental illness. As I have discussed before, I was raised Catholic and I aspired to continue that practice throughout my life. Well things happened. I married someone who just admitted after many years that he never considered himself a Catholic. His parents dragged him to church every Sunday and raised him to be Catholic. But as an adult he found for himself that he does not share the same beliefs as Catholics. He is a scientist by profession. He believes in evolution and things that he has found to be proven by science. At a certain point in time, my children were In Catholic school with other Catholics. I hoped that they would attend Catholic school and be raised Catholic. However Due to My children’s special needs we instead found ourselves in public schools. Public education has all the resources we need and has been beneficial to my children in many ways. My public school parent experience has brought me into contact with other parents from many different walks of life. I always loved people very different from me. I have always felt that if they are nice to me and there is a connection well that is all that matters. But sometimes I am struck with how different we all are. I have had a negative experience with someone who I thought was sort of a friend. But then I realized that he is the type of person who would not be friends with me if I ever copped to being Catholic. He didn’t know I was Catholic and he doesn’t like Catholics. Therein lies the problem. He makes Catholic jokes and Irish jokes. Some of our mutual friends think this is socially acceptable and even egg him on. I am very angry at this person for his jokes and I actually unfriended him on Facebook. Before I unfriended him for good we had a few negative interactions on Facebook in April. Our relationship just soured after I reacted to his jokes and took an indirect potshot at him. Needless to say he got my joke and he has been going postal on me every since. We both have three children on the Autism spectrum but unlike me, he always plays the sympathy card and it works. Every one loves this kook and feels sympathy for him. Not one person has taken my side in our little tiff. It’s insane. He has been going around my children’s school campaigning for sympathy and telling his side of the story. Talk about passive aggressive. He is a little bitch. He has such a huge ego that he hates to be challenged by a woman especially. He is and will always be a democrat Donald Trump. So someone bought my book The Voices on Amazon during this time. He left me an anonymous one star review. I know exactly who it is! What a dick! My book about my mental health journey is called The Voices by Danielle Flore. I am selling it on Amazon. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Please buy my book and leave a positive review if possible. Ok end of rant.

This cat!

 My cat loves me really! She’s not giving me a dirty look or anything. That’s just how she looks. 

Everything she does is wonderful!

 My cat Cinnamon can do no wrong and she is hilarious!

Hello again!

 I have missed you but you were always on my mind! I love Willie Nelson! I am not a huge country fan but he is awesome and definitely the King of country music! Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame 2023? He’s got my vote!

So I have not heard too many voices on my new medication. Despite a lot of stress in my life lately, I am managing just fine. As far as my hallucinations and conflicts with reality, I still hallucinate all the time. I thought James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett drove past me the other day. It was awesome to see them! I am a huge fan of Metallica! I still cyberstalk that guy from college and his wife. I hope you guys had a fabulous vacation. (Not really!) Looking at their annoying vacation photos, I had to face the reality that he is still married and not leaving his wife anytime probably. I can’t believe all the things his wife did in her life to hold on to him. She spoiled him rotten actually. Moving across country to be with him? Agreeing to not have any children? Yikes. I would not have done either of those things probably. She pretends to be fully stoked on sleeping in a tent in cold ass weather and BMX riding? What a great vacation! She seems full of it but that’s ok. She pretends to be super into watching professional male sports. Now I always thought girls like that were soooo fake. Anyway I guess he made the right choice. I’m better off too. The guy from college will always be on my mind though. My mental torture will always be thinking about doing things differently when I was younger, when I had a chance with him. It’s too late now. Oh well he will always be on my mind!

My new medication

 I don’t want to open the door to hearing voices which is why I have not been blogging. The well has run dry as I have no voices to report. My new medication must be working better than my last antipsychotic. I don’t want to jinx myself by taking too much about it. If you don’t hear from me here on my blog, it is because all is well and my medication is doing its job. I cannot believe I thought Vraylar was working so well when I was constantly hearing voices and going on tangents about them. On the other hand, without my voices, I have to think of something else to write about. I need a new story to tell. I am thankful to the makers of Caplyta as it works better than Vraylar did for me. Finger crossed that my luck will continue. I have not heard voices since March 16. Let’s see how long I can maintain this voice free streak!

In honor of St Patrick’s Day tomorrow

Here is Drake performing in Dublin. It must be the Irish in me. I love this song by Drake. The audience here is going crazy for Drake during this song! Wow!