12/28/2017
I was just on this message board that I frequent and saw the most interesting thread. Other people discussed times that they had no control over their voice. It was as if a voice was speaking through them. This happens to me, in private only, when I am listening to music. I have had the experience where I have no control over my lips and start singing the lyrics to songs that I never heard before or never paid attention to the lyrics. How do I miraculously know all the lyrics to these random songs that I have never heard before? Someone said that they felt like a demon was speaking through them. That is exactly what it feels like. Esteban knows all the lyrics to every song that comes on the radio and he starts singing in my ear. It is even more aggravating when my lips start moving and I start singing. This happens to me usually when I am driving alone in my car. I am just glad that I am not the only person that has these scary experiences. I do feel that, in addition to being schizoaffective, I am slightly clairvoyant/intuitive/sensitive. How else would I know every word to every new song I hear on the radio? Bizarre.
Over the summer, at a family party, I warned a family member about the fire in Santa Barbara. I had a glass of wine and started pacing. I was nervous. I started discussing the recent fire there and they assured me that the small fire was over now. A few months later Santa Barbara had the biggest wildfire in California's history.
In college, I think I sensed Hurricane Katrina. I was invited to go to New Orleans with a group of young ladies, my college roomates. I gave them an emphatic "no." I did not want to be in a unpredictable place with these ladies. I assumed that they would be no help to me in an emergency situation. I thought they could care less about me and were totally selfish. I surely did not want to drink in excess, in this wild place, with these young women. I did not feel like they were good enough friends to travel to New Orleans with. When Hurricane Katrina hit, I kept flashing back to my resistance to going on that trip. Hurricane Katrina was devastating to New Orleans. Watching the footage of Hurricane Katrina was painful to watch and kept reminding me of those women.
I was just on this message board that I frequent and saw the most interesting thread. Other people discussed times that they had no control over their voice. It was as if a voice was speaking through them. This happens to me, in private only, when I am listening to music. I have had the experience where I have no control over my lips and start singing the lyrics to songs that I never heard before or never paid attention to the lyrics. How do I miraculously know all the lyrics to these random songs that I have never heard before? Someone said that they felt like a demon was speaking through them. That is exactly what it feels like. Esteban knows all the lyrics to every song that comes on the radio and he starts singing in my ear. It is even more aggravating when my lips start moving and I start singing. This happens to me usually when I am driving alone in my car. I am just glad that I am not the only person that has these scary experiences. I do feel that, in addition to being schizoaffective, I am slightly clairvoyant/intuitive/sensitive. How else would I know every word to every new song I hear on the radio? Bizarre.
Over the summer, at a family party, I warned a family member about the fire in Santa Barbara. I had a glass of wine and started pacing. I was nervous. I started discussing the recent fire there and they assured me that the small fire was over now. A few months later Santa Barbara had the biggest wildfire in California's history.
In college, I think I sensed Hurricane Katrina. I was invited to go to New Orleans with a group of young ladies, my college roomates. I gave them an emphatic "no." I did not want to be in a unpredictable place with these ladies. I assumed that they would be no help to me in an emergency situation. I thought they could care less about me and were totally selfish. I surely did not want to drink in excess, in this wild place, with these young women. I did not feel like they were good enough friends to travel to New Orleans with. When Hurricane Katrina hit, I kept flashing back to my resistance to going on that trip. Hurricane Katrina was devastating to New Orleans. Watching the footage of Hurricane Katrina was painful to watch and kept reminding me of those women.
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