I took my car in the shop and the shuttle driver remembered taking me to the last house that I previously lived in. When he saw where I was living now, he said to me, "What happened? I saw the house you used to live in. You lived in a beautiful house, in a beautiful neighborhood, just blocks from the beach!" His words reminded me of everything I had lost for reminiscing too much about the past and going off my medication. I regret divorcing my husband in search of a better life/mate. I have lost so much, mostly time with my children. There are years of their youth that remain fuzzy to me. I don't miss the pretentiousness of my old neighborhood though.

At first I thought that living up La Costa was much crappier than the neighborhood we left behind. The house we are renting now is shabby and ancient. Our neighbors all have pitbulls and other huge dogs. I wondered, at first, if they needed these dogs for protection, from the mean streets of La Costa. We have never been that friendly with our neighbors, so living here, with little to no contact with our neighbors, is nothing new. On top of that, some slob keeps having sex in his car or something, and leaving his used condoms in the middle of the street. I have no idea which slob is doing this. It remains a mystery.

Anywho. I was thinking about what the shuttle driver said to me and wondering about my path in life. It reminded me of the song, Once In A Lifetime by the Talking Heads. "How did I get here?"

 I am just lucky to be back living with my family, with a roof over my head. I am blessed to have family, friends, food, and shelter, for sure.

http://www.openculture.com/2019/02/how-talking-heads-and-brian-eno-wrote-once-in-a-lifetime.html#comments