Top 10 signs your first date won’t work out

 

1. He shows up at your house on a Unicycle

2. He’s dressed in Crocs and a housecoat and cooks with a crockpot for your dinner date

3. He swears he got his herpes from a yoga mat

4. He pays for your movie using scratch and win lotto tickets

5. His dream job is to clean up elephant poop at the Circus

6. He yells into his cellphone “Pay me back what you owe me or you’re dead! Is that clear, Mom?”

7. The Value Village tag is showing on his new suit

8. He follows you to the bathroom and proposes outside of the stall

9. He pees his name in the snowbank underneath your bedroom window

   10. He tells you that his favorite activity is making balloon animals out of his genitals

Feeling amused. I didn’t write this but it sounds about right.