Saturday, December 14, 2024

Flashback




 I overheard a conversation where two men were discussing how things were so carefree in college. A lot of college students are being completely financially supported by their parents. Life was good. I remember. The kids from Northern California were supposedly richer than the rest of us from So. Cal. Don’t remind me how easy it could be to maybe take a girl out on a date. The attempt was never made. The guys spent all of their time every day together. No one wanted to get to know me or hang out with me during the daylight sober hours. That’s for damn sure. They didn’t want any kind of relationship or monogamy. My cousin found the only good guy in Isla Vista. He let himself get committed to one woman and consequently, they fell in love. They met in college at a “party school “ and are still happily married. Romanticizing college is a huge mistake for me! The window of opportunity for rekindling anything passed long ago. Coming around and snooping through my life isn’t romantic, it’s stalking. You could have stayed in Santa Cruz for this b.s. Go jerk around someone else! You are certainly not worth the hell you are putting me through. Why are you participating in driving me crazy? You are a complete asshole! Truly! I would never want someone I was even dating casually to hang around with female “friends.” Do you really need to be friends with random women or other female friends and family members of mine? I would never let you do that if I could control it. You keep pushing the issue. The answer is no already. If you want to date multiple women at once and have female friends, you will not be at all involved with me. That’s it. You should respect that, instead of trying to make me jealous or whatever the hell you are doing. You must be paying these women, like prostitutes, to drive around with you in order to make me jealous.. I’m done with you, before it even began. Pointless! I should be dating other people myself. Holding out hope for you has been a huge waste of a large chunk of my life! Of course I attempted to move on and get married? You needed to keep in touch with me directly, not keep in touch with my brother or with some person I am no longer in touch with or some acquaintance you pump for information about me. You are scarier and even more conniving than I have ever admitted to myself or told you. You still don’t have the balls to approach me, but you would get an earful if you did. I don’t need to engage with you though. At this point, a restraining order would be more appropriate. Evil E is definitely a huge problematic asshole of a person, but what about you? What have you brought into my life, besides irritation, stress, and psychological torment? You are definitely tormenting me too, Trey! Driving past me so many times gave me false hope that consequently ruined my life!

You had a wife there for a minute. Sure, I was jealous because you finally grew up and were a picture perfect seemingly great husband to your wife. (In pictures, at least) I convinced myself  you were so perfect.  I was bitter about everything…and you said you were “still living your best life.” Good for you! But you really weren’t a great husband if you had a seriously distracting wandering eye. Quit trying to prove how imperfect you are, so I lower my expectations of you. I refuse to get involved with someone who manipulates my emotions, to see how I react. Between you and Evil E, I am an angry, mixed up mess! Thanks for that.

*** I bet this is one of Evil Es favorite movies, Friday. Evil E is very intimidating. You definitely believe that he could definitely follow through with his physical threats,.  Evil E just like Big Worm. I feel the same way though, in regards to, don’t play with my emotions, Trey and his entire social circle including his crazy in-laws. Evil E knows how much he hates being messed with, yet he messes as hard as he can and still get away with it. He is a thug and not in a cool movie star way. He should be locked up but this asshole is posting in his instagram stories looking free as a bird, riding his bike through the jungles of Venezuela or whatever. Have a nice trip, asshole! When the man I endured all of this demonic hell for, drives past me, like a vindictive confused messed up stalker, it only adds to my stress and paranoia levels. I know that getting involved with me would be a huge commitment and involve a lot more serious work than your previous carefree child free marriage has been, but you are already holding that over my head. I am interested in taking on you and your kids, aren’t I so great? You should be sooo grateful! Leave me alone…seriously!

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