The holidays are upon us

 https://easybudgetrecipes.com/ambrosia-salad-with-cool-whip/

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruitcake

The holidays are upon us and I am dreading it, in a way. So now I would like to vent a bit about some of my family food traditions that I have endured and would love to end permanently.

The first tradition is partaking in a side dish, which my mother loved and used to try to pass off as a healthy salad. I was a child of the 1980’s/90’s in California. I occasionally felt like my parents were trying to raise me in the 1950’s deep South which I instinctively rejected. My mother used to present Ambrosia as a healthy salad.  I just want to say that first of all, I knew all along that Ambrosia was not a healthy salad. It has the health equivalent of gummy bears lodged in chilled whipped cream/jello. Weird!

Also I would like to take the time to ruthlessly slander fruit cake. Fruit cake tastes disgusting and also is not healthy. It is the old school equivalent to gummy bears baked into sugar bread. Ick, so bad and bad for you. I really don’t want to gain 20 pounds this Christmas if I can possibly help it. Some American holiday food traditions need to be put to rest for good. No thank you to Ambrosia and Fruit cake this year, every year.

Matt: You thought that I was not going to comment on this. You were wrong. I must say that this is a stupid blog entry but no more stupid than the rest. So, we do not eat crap like this in Venezuela. We do not consume loads of hydrogenated corn syrup on the daily. That is one reason we remain so physically fit while you are so chubby. Your overall health is inferior because your waist circumference rivals that of a beached whale. You heard me. “Thar she blows.”  I might have received a little inspiration from your most feared stalker Tony Meister on that dig. Be forewarned!

Val: Matt is right. We don’t eat fattening fruit cake or nasty Ambrosia here in Venezuela. Our holiday food is divine. Not that you will ever get a taste. Have a holiday with your stale fruitcake and soggy Ambosia, while we live our best beach life. Eat your heart out that you remain on the outside looking in. Be forewarned!