Off topic (kind of): I don’t know if I already posted these videos. Growing up I enjoyed listening to (mostly) male artists, especially those that I was attracted to. I definitely favored artists and bands that I thought were good looking. I do know now, that I probably shouldn’t have been listening to much of it. In grammar school and junior high, I missed a lot of what was misogyny or what were offensive in other ways, or that could have a negative influence on me. I believe it ended up messing with me, because I liked the songs or bands that I now know are considered offensive. I started excusing a lot of musicians and song lyrics that I now feel conflicted about. This translated into excusing much male bad behavior (in my life) that should have been addressed or been a red flag to me. I still like these songs and bands, but I am a little embarrassed about it. I don’t want other people (women especially) to know that I still listen to these songs from my youth and be judged for it.
I do have two different songs that I can think of, that are by male artists that I really like, but there were parts of these songs that I was always confused by. I thought the lyrics were a little silly, maybe? Maybe it was written hastily because there were parts of the lyrics that didn’t make sense to me. Very recently, I went back to these two songs, feeling nostalgic for them. I had these AHA moments, and I finally understood that they used double talk to address very serious and dark issues. They must have been afraid to explicitly speak about these issues back in the day.
In the 1980’s I was a young kid whose parents listened to country music. I really only seriously liked Willie Nelson. I especially liked “On the Road again” and his song “Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.” I am not sure if this song was specifically about another country artist or just certain men, in general. Anyway I just figured out what Willie was saying in the verse right in the middle of the song. The verse begins “Cowboys like smoky ol’ pool rooms and clear mountain mornings, little warm puppies and children and girls of the night. Them that don’t know him, won’t like him, and some guys won’t know how to take him. He ain’t wrong, he’s just different but his pride won’t let him do things to make you think he’s right.” Now that’s some double talk! It took me years to figure that all out because that is ALOT. Also, I am a female who doesn’t think or understand from the male perspective. For most of my life, I was not fully aware of the difference in male and female libido and the extent of male desire for new, novel, and possibly harmful and illegal sexual experiences. I am usually shocked and unprepared for the frequency men want sex and I don’t share their “out there” sexual interests. (Certainly not anything kinky) Men don’t find “kinky” to be a dirty word. This is a huge problem for me. I also hate being told that if I were more open to frequent sex and whatever way my partner wants it, men wouldn’t have affairs. That is how people see it though. I am just better off single.
The rap song “They Want Efx” by Das Efx drops so many bombs, through the course of “They Want Efx.” Das Efx was actually labeled “mumble rap” by some critics. If you peel back the lyrical layers and read between the lines, you would see that they used double talk to mask a very dark and serious message. I finally figured out what they were saying. It was fascinating to crack the code, which just finally happened for me recently. I do wonder if Evil E or someone else guided me towards the hidden meaning though. As a naive female, I may not have figured out what these songs were talking about, without the male voices in my head. I have both both friend and foe male voices, who perhaps, as men, found it easier to understand what these male artists were trying to say.
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