Coming forward and seeking help from the dark arts, by telling my tale of torment, has gotten many strangers in my community, that I am encountering, up in arms. Unfortunately, our racist and money-hoarding president is triggering the people around me, to be even more harsh to me. I definitely feel judged by everyone around me right now. I am being treated worse by the people who I don’t know at all, but who may know just a sliver about my situation. Many people do not believe me at all. Many people think that I deserve this abuse, because I am a “home wrecker.” Many people downplay this situation as being “not that bad. He’s just talking to you.” It’s giving “So what? We all have our problems!” Many Mexicans, Mexican Americans, and Latin Americans, living in America, have no sympathy for me and blame me for contributing to the racist push for the deportation of minority ethnic groups. I absolutely want nothing to do with that. I don’t want Donald Trump to ever hear this story and use it as a justification for ridding the United States of non-“white” people. I naively thought DT was just making jokes to offend deep-hearted Democrats who believe that America should be an open land of opportunity for everyone, regardless of their race, religion, sexuality/gender, or disability. Now, I see how serious Donald Trump is, trying to fulfill all of his evil campaign promises. He is seeming more and more, like an evil dictator. What if I spoke out against him? Whether or not Italians are “white” has not ceased to be debated, since we first came to the U.S. Who knows? I could be on the path to deportation next?
People say that white people overreact to being called out by people of color when they are out of line. I was shopping at Walmart yesterday and was not out of line. I simply asked an employee for help with something. He totally snapped at me and made a scene. I didn’t react. I definitely didn’t overreact but I think he wanted a reaction. I know there are protests happening now because of Donald Trump and his racist deportations. I wasn’t being inconsiderate or a bitch though. He took his anger out on me for no reason. It was 5 pm in the back of Walmart in the fishing supply section. Maybe there was no camera surveillance there and he thought he could get away with being an asshole to a customer? Is this the beginning of a race war or is this just a Walmart employee with a shitty attitude, who is dodging helping a customer? Trying to mess with (white) people to give us a taste of our own medicine is racist and messed up too. I don’t care if you disagree. This is why I don’t ask for help at Walmart if I can help it and I use self check if possible. I do believe they are not being paid enough for exemplary customer service. I have even heard a Vons employee say that once. She will bag groceries, that is all. I don’t feel the need to make small talk at the checkout. It’s the “I hate you” vibes that caused me to drive further away to buy my groceries at a grocery store where the employees are not chatty (because I don’t necessarily want to chat with them) and more importantly they do not throw shade or negative vibes my way.
I hate feeling the jealousy of others. I hate bad vibes, evil glares, and catty comments that I assume are directed at me. I am going to start holding my hand up to deflect their negative energy, back at them. I am going to make it very clear that I did nothing wrong and this weird person is picking on me, out of jealousy. I want to say, “talk to my hand.” Look in the mirror, lady! As if you aren’t entitled yourself?” I don’t want to hear people gossiping about me, while I am in earshot. I mean, you know someone is jealous of you, when they start picking you apart, over some minor thing. Then they blow up the issue to vent their frustration over their own life, and take out their personal frustration on you. A (white) woman at Target was definitely a problem yesterday. It had nothing to do with me. This white woman at the Target checkout was a total “pick me” this afternoon. She jumped all over an honest mistake, just to fuck with me. I accidentally walked into a short line when the cashier woman working there had just turned off her light. I didn’t see it was turned off. When she explained that she was off and not taking any more customers, I left with zero attitude. Then her last customer, made some snide comment about me, being entitled and trying to get in the shortest line, instead of waiting, like everyone else. You know damn well that it was an honest mistake, lady. Bitches, I am not making my Santeria story up, so quit trying to make it seem like I am just some racist Karen. You’re a Karen, bitch! I don’t need to “learn my lesson” from your idiot ass or “get a taste of my own medicine.”
I am a technically “white” woman with a nice, cushy life, despite being hexed to death, by one nutty family. Just the other day, I heard a man in the grocery store say… “Well, it helps to be pretty.” The local police/sheriff department here consists of primarily men. If they are attracted to me, that may be one reason they are investigating my far-fetched story. I also have a relative in local law enforcement. Members of local law enforcement here are, for the most part, very handsome males. If me being attractive to them or showing them that I find them attractive, works to motivate them to help me, I am ok that. I know that I have privileges, but it’s weird how, all of a sudden, people are getting pissed over it, and feel the need to constantly remind me of my privilege. Don’t give me your jealous energy, over the fact that law enforcement is investigating this situation. I am fortunate to live in a low-crime neighborhood. It’s a slow news day everyday here. That is another reason why I am getting the help that I have been asking for. Hopefully this investigation will help protect people or uncover information that can help people in some way. It’s been 10 years now and no one has been able to figure out what is happening here, or how to stop this, so don’t be too jealous. You have no idea what I have been through. The only reason why you can’t muster any sympathy for me, is because you’re jealousy, over unrelated issues, is getting in the way of that. I know that I read into things and I assume that every negative comment people are saying around me, are about me, and that’s my paranoia problem. But to those of you, who are truly breathing fire at me, I hope your negative, jealous energy, bounces off me, and hits you right back in your face!
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