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Maeve: Maybe Trey doesn’t have a porn problem. As a matter of fact, I know that my husband does not look at porn because he has ME! We have sex regularly and I am a fantastic, generous lover. You should try it sometime…with someone else.  If you continue to pine for and pursue my husband, we will generously and increasingly send our black magic your way. Be forewarned!

Matteo: Stupid bitch. You are still pining for Trey Sanders! You thought of him, while listening to that “pornographic” song, “Big Dick Energy.” You wish that he had a big dick. You don’t even remember if he does though because you don’t remember anything from college. Well, you were a drunken whore in college but you are quite prudish now. He wouldn’t even like you and he already has the perfect wife. He might as well stay with her.

Matteo: We mess with you, in your dreams,  at night. You had a dream last night that you stole someone’s random board and wetsuit and tried surfing. Then you proudly posted the pictures online to show all of your Facebook friends. Oh wait! No! That wasn’t about you at all. That was Maeve! And guess who sweetly gave her a board and wetsuit? Guess who taught her how to surf? It was Maeve’s beloved husband, Trey Sanders! She is living your dream life and your jealousy is what got you into this hex mess, in the first place! So this is all your fault. Quit looking at our social media and envying our lives! You can’t have Maeve’s life! You can’t have Trey! You can’t surf with Trey! You can’t tap into his “Big Dick Energy.” You can only dream, if we don’t mess your dreams up too! No, scratch that! Do not let your thoughts stray away from reality, to Trey Sanders, or we will come for you. Don’t underestimate us and the power of the dark arts! Be forewarned!

Valentina: You should be ashamed of yourself for posting all this crap on Fathers Day weekend. You are clueless! Poor Stephen and all the fathers of the world, who escape the grind of every day life, through pornography. You keep judging and insulting them! You are a hypocrite to boot! We hate you, so we will continue to hex you! Be forewarned!