Someone asked me today, "What was your funniest delusion?" The conversation veered towards funny delusions in the psych ward, involving the food there. I have a similar story, although I don't know how funny it is. The voices told me, when I entered the cafeteria, that Tony Hawk created and approved the menu there. They kept talking about Tony Hawk and assured me that the food was really good in the hospital. The food was ok, I guess.  I think the voices really wanted me to eat and get fat, which happened anyway, due to my antipsychotic.

When I was unmedicated, the voices would goof on me and build me up, only to tear me down later. I paced a lot. When I was walking, the voices would speak to me like I was on the red carpet or something. They would ask me who I was wearing, as if it was some expensive couture or something. I was usually in a tee shirt and jeans from TJ Maxx or something. Actually my tee shirt is from TJ Maxx, my jeans are from the Gap, and I am wearing Flojos flip flops. Thank you very much. LOL

At one point, the voices told me that Keith was coming to pick me up in an invisible car so we could drive off into the sunset together. I got dressed up and waited outside. He never showed up. I wasted a lot of time waiting for him to show up at my house and pick me up for our first real date.

For the most part, my delusions took on a more frightening tone and were nothing to laugh about. I thought I was being hexed and chased and choked. I would be home with a butter knife, the only weapon I had, waiting for the intruder to materialize. Those fears drove me to call the police over 5 times in two months, which is how I ended up in the psych ward. I guess I can thank the police for getting me to the hospital, where I got the help I needed.