Is this for real? The moral to the story is... Keith + Danielle=DOOMED from the start (True Story)

https://www.newsweek.com/jilted-husband-wins-88m-lawsuit-against-man-who-had-affair-his-wife-1046450

Never have an affair in North Carolina! LOL

I dreamt about this song last night! I think Michael Hutchence serenaded me. It just hit me! I was in rapture. When I was in grammar school, I made a Christmas wish list. One of the gifts I wanted, was the Motley Crue "Girls, Girls, Girls" CD. I have always loved hard rock. If you have seen the CD cover, there is no way my Mother would ever buy that for me. Instead she bought me the INXS Kick CD.  At the time, I was disappointed. I was not ready for that type of music. I was too young and hadn't developed the taste for a great love song.  When I heard this song in my head last night, I almost cried. It is just beautiful! Michael Hutchence was so passionate! He was a beautiful artist, who loved hard. He could  write about love and loss, because he experienced so much of it, throughout his life. This is an amazing song, which I totally appreciate now!

What? The blood moon is not visible in the United States? I have been waiting all day for this! Bummer.

https://fox5sandiego.com/2018/07/27/longest-total-lunar-eclipse-of-the-century-is-here-but-northern-america-wont-see-it/

pill-rolling

(pil'rōl-ing),

A circular movement of the opposed tips of the thumb and the index finger appearing as a form of tremor in paralysisagitans.

I noticed that I was pill-rolling my fingers today. I have not done this for a long time. I started doing this, as a young child, with my baby blanket.  As a child, I would pill roll with my satin baby blanket, when I was trying to go to sleep.  I'm 43 and still doing it, however I have gone through long periods of not doing it. 

When I was in high school, the school psychologist saw me pill-rolling at my desk and she told me that I would become schizophrenic. She did not even pull me aside, to tell me this. She blurted it out in front of  my whole Sophomore year psychology class. I still resent her for that. She was right, but now I am worried about bigger things. 

Is this more a by-product of SZA?  Do I do it as a soother for stress, or is something wrong with my brain? When I look it up, all I find are articles on Parkinson's and brain calcification. I do have schizoaffective disorder.  I wonder about this sometimes, but I am trying not to worry over it.

I post a lot of music videos on my blog. I love music! I was watching a documentary today about Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys and learned that he has schizoaffective disorder. I never knew that! As I have said before, as a teenager, I experimented with drugs, such as LSD.

My psychiatrist does not want me to blame myself, for my mental illness. She has reason to believe that, in my family, there is also a genetic predisposition to mental illness. Many of my family members are ashamed of this idea, and in denial of this. (They blame my drug use) However, this is something I discuss with my psychiatrist regularly.

Like Brian Wilson, I want to discourage people from taking drugs, like acid. Acid is very dangerous and can damage your brain and trigger mental illness, after experimenting with it, the first time.

https://mic.com/articles/117876/7-musicians-who-spoke-out-against-the-stigma-of-mental-illness#.oVNuKyWQq

I have been visiting other blogs and reading articles about Brian Wilson today. I was surprised to read some of the reader's comments about Brian's mental illness. One person asked if schizoaffective disorder was still prevalent?  Perhaps they thought that since the 1960's had passed, acid had become passe. I experimented with acid in the 1990's, so that is a false conclusion to make. Brian Wilson is not the only living person with schizoaffective disorder. Unfortunately, people are still being diagnosed with this illness. It is both drug-induced and naturally-occurring.

On a happier note (than my last post), I went to Gelson's, my favorite grocery store, and heard the best song.  Everyone is so friendly at my grocery store. They all know me and say hi to me. In addition, I feel like they play nice songs for me too. I haven't asked them to confirm this, but I suspect it to be true. Anyhow, the music makes for a very pleasant shopping experience. Here is the song I heard last time I was at Gelson's, which made my day.

I know, I know! I am on fire! (in a good way) Am I such a mom/housewife or what? I am just here blogging about my exciting trip to the grocery store. LOL

I just found this new website that has many informative articles about schizophrenia. I am actually diagnosed schizoaffective and there are articles on this site that explain the difference between schizophrenia and schizoaffective disorder. I tell people that I have schizophrenia because people seem to have no idea what schizoaffective disorder is. I am even foggy on what the difference is. You can read more about it at the link below.

https://www.verywellmind.com/schizophrenia-versus-schizoaffective-disorder-2953129

I confided in a friend that I had schizophrenia and she replied, "You have a split personality or multiple personalities?" No! A split personality is called dissociative disorder. You can read more about that at the link below.

https://www.verywellmind.com/dissociative-disorder-vs-schizophrenia-4160180

The sun has set!

Yes, I have become that annoying person that cuts and pastes random song lyrics on their blog. Although this song is not random to me at all. "What you don't have, you don't need it now."

Leigh: You will never have Keith Spellman. I will make sure of that! Be forewarned.

I had a very vivid Keith Spellman daydream last night. I woke up depressed, this morning, and this song cheered me up. It was the pep talk that I needed.

The heart is a bloom Shoots up through the stony ground There's no room No space to rent in this town You're out of luck And the reason that you had to care The traffic is stuck And you're not moving anywhere You thought you'd found a friend To take you out of this place Someone you could lend a hand In return for grace It's a beautiful day Sky falls, you feel like It's a beautiful day Don't let it get away You're on the road But you've got no destination You're in the mud In the maze of her imagination You love this town Even if that doesn't ring true You've been all over And it's been all over you It's a beautiful day Don't let it get away It's a beautiful day Touch me Take me to that other place Teach me I know I'm not a hopeless case See the world in green and blue See China right in front of you See the canyons broken by cloud See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out See the Bedouin fires at night See the oil fields at first light And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colors came out It was a beautiful day Don't let it get away Beautiful day Touch me Take me to that other place Reach me I know I'm not a hopeless case What you don't have you don't need it now What you don't know you can feel it somehow What you don't have you don't need it now Don't need it now Was a beautiful day-U2

This song always makes me cry, because it deals with death and it sounds (to me) like he is saying my name, Danielle. It seems like he is singing directly to me! The lyrics imply that he, sort of, hallucinates throughout the song.  Missing someone can do that to you.

I admire musicians and artists for really living! They open themselves up to love, love hard, and experience loss, as a result. Some of the greatest musical artists, experienced much pain and rocky romances. Out of that pain, came some of the best songs. I have been reading (on Wikipedia) about Bryan Ferry's love life and he experienced a lot of heartache!  I love this song!!

I just read an article that sounds promising for me, as a schizophrenic. This is very interesting! A Spanish pharmaceutical company is developing a drug for schizophrenia, that could cross the blood/brain barrier. This sounds more effective than the schizophrenia treatments, currently on the market. Please read the articles below. Shark antibodies are to be used in these products. This raises one important issue. Are any sharks harmed, in the process of extracting shark antibodies? We need our shark population!


https://labiotech.eu/iproteos-blood-brain-barrier/

https://labiotech.eu/ossianix-lundbeck-shark-antibody/

This is a fascinating study about AC/DC! LOL

http://www.metalinjection.net/latest-news/metal-science/sorry-ac-dc-turns-out-rock-and-roll-is-noise-pollution-to-ladybugs

I just listened to AC/DC, while working out. I watched live footage of Axl Rose singing for Brian Johnson. Loved it!


***Lady bugs may not like AC/DC, but I do!

I am hopeful to hear that a new breed of snake was discovered in Queensland. I am concerned to hear that mining in the region threatens the survival of this snake.

https://www.9news.com.au/national/2018/07/18/06/07/bandy-bandy-snake-discovered-in-queensland-threatened-by-mining?ocid=Social-9NewsB



***Gnarly spider of the day ( Found in my bathroom)

Unconcerned about the survival of this particular spider, I flushed it down the toilet! (How un-hippie-ish!) I know! I should have released it back into the wilderness!

Video clip of my daughter performing Queen's "We Will Rock You" at band camp. #PROUDMAMA

I was just reading about the Truman Show Delusion. I did not know that this was a real delusion until today.  I have this delusion, in a way.  I do not believe that I am on reality t.v.  I just think that I am a celebrity, because this blog is public. I believe that everyone knows me and talk about me, behind my back. I do not trust my neighbors at all. I believe that they spy on me.  They might be filming me and my family, or watching us with binoculars. I believe that they peer through the bushes at us. I do not speak to most of my neighbors, because of this. It is just easier for me to ignore them, considering I do not trust them at all.



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Truman_Show_delusion


Speaking of stars... A star is born. My daughter singing at Rock Camp.

I have always thought of myself as a pessimist. (except when it comes to one person)

Why do I do this?

I know. I know. I have not gotten the hint yet. What can I say? Reality is fleeting for me. Our romance was fleeting too. (But was there ever a romance? I think you crept past me in college and never spoke to me sober.  That is all that really happened)


***A woman named Olga just sent me a message! It somehow ended up in my spam mailbox.

Hello: 

You are amazing! You have no idea how happy it would make me to talk to you.

Do you like working out?

Olga!!

I am so bored this summer, I am reading my spam! Wow! Sounds intruiging!

Hi, I would Love to Meet for drinks and hear all about you. Maybe we could meet at a Hotel bar and see where things Go.. ;)

My spam mailbox is fascinating!


Coris Int'l Bank Plc
Cotonou Benin Republic.
Notification of payment by atm card

Attention beneficiary,

This email is to notify you about the present arrangement to release your outstanding overdue Contract/Inheritance/Lottery payment through (atm master card card) this arrangement was initiated/constituted by the National Lottery Authority in conjunction with World Bank due to fraudulent activities going on around the world. The World Bank introduced this payment arrangement as to enable all beneficiaries to receive their Contract/Inheritance/Lottery payment without any interference, this atm cards are powered by gold card worldwide. Please note that what we will be sending to you is an Coris Cash Atm card which is accepted at over 900,000 atm centers in over 195 countries worldwide, this Coris Cash will be loaded with a total sum of $1,250,000.00USD (One Million Two Hundred Fifty Thousand dollars) which is the total amount due to you for payment now and after this one is cleared another will be paid in until your total funds and completely paid out.

In line with the withdrawal procedure of this atm Visa card, you are only allowed a daily withdrawal of not more than $10.000.00USD until all the funds are exhausted. The package shall be delivered to you and the delivery shall be done by FedEx courier service and the charges associated with the delivery are $49usd and will be paid upfront to enable the processing of your atm card delivery. The package is coming from Cotonou Republic of Benin and there for the fee must be paid to Benin by beneficiary to the courier company. In view of this you are advised to contact the director (IBB, IRD, and ATM) Dr. JohnPaul Adams now with your following information to enable him process your atm master card and also to register your atm card with the delivering courier to proceeds with the delivery of your parcel today.

Contact Person: Dr. JohnPaul Adams


Well, because he is a doctor, that means I can trust him! I only need to send $49 to receive the $1,250,000.00?Sounds good!

I recently posted  that I was on the Script Revolution website, in the hopes of making a movie about my journey. Yesterday, my lack of impulse control, drove me to google the names of my mind tormentors. Upon my internet search, I learned that one of my tormentors, Esteban, signed up to be an actor/model/extra through some website for aspiring actors. Everytime I google the names of my tormentors, bad things happen. I get mentally triggered every time I look them up. Tonight, while I laid down to sleep, Esteban spoke to me. It is as if, he knows I googled him.

Esteban: I am down to be an extra in your crappy movie. Be forewarned.
Danielle: That will never happen!

My rational mind knows it is silly to fear people of different races and religions.  My psychotic mind wants to call the cops over things like this... (No, seriously thought this was funny)

Last year, I wrote a short story called "The Voices," which no one bought. I also have aspirations to write a screenplay. I joined this website called Script Revolution to network and promote my book. Yesterday, I received the oddest message from a complete stranger on Script Revolution...

Hello

It's my Pleasure to be in contact with you after going through your profile and i believe you have a good heart.

My name is Mrs. Cathy Benjamin, wife of late Mr. DonDaniels Benjamin an industrialist in field of PetroChemical expert. My late husband died out of heart infection Six years ago and he has been for me to see that i recover from my illness. I am contacting you today, because i'm diagonised with Lungs and throat cancer and I inherited the sum of $13.8 million US Dollars from my late husband and due to my health condition i'm entrusting this fund in your hands for a charitable Project which will be of the benefit to the less privileges and the homeless. It has been the dream of my late husband to use this fund for charity in our name, but due to his sudden death, i will not like his dream to die with him, that is why God has directed me to your hands to see that my late husband's dream comes to pass. I will not like in the situation you find a greed heart, please be sincere and clear minded to confirm to me if you are willing and sincere to handle this fund. I will stop here due to my health and strength. Kindly reply for more details. Reply directly to my e-mail 

Thank you and May the good Lord bless you and your family.

Best regards,
Mrs. Cathy Benjamin

She wants me to help her spend $13.8 million? I wish this were true, but I am not THAT DUMB!! This story has already been written. It was called, "Brewster's Millions!" LOL

It feels a little like this...

LOVE DIANA ROSS!!

I went to dinner tonight at Island's Restaurant in Leucadia and this song came on. I tried to figure out if someone played this song, specifically for me. Call me a narcissist, but music speaks directly to me. I always think people know me and play songs for me. Oh, those jokesters at Islands! I did think it was about me, although I did not think it was funny. Their music selection sometimes bothers me. Oh well!

I was in college, when this song first came out. I do not know if I really got Jamiroquai's point, at the time. I could only relate to the insanity part, not the virtual. LOL 

In college, I was broke. I did not have a cell phone or a lap top. I used the computer lab on campus to do my work and email.  

This song was prophetic though!  I can relate to Jamiroquai's Virtual Insanity today more than ever. I am always blogging, texting, and goofing around on social media!

Pink Floyd always relaxes me. The band expresses a lot of love for Syd Barrett. I love this song, but hesitated to post this video, because I care what people think. (a lot) The term "crazy" is dated and politically incorrect. People throw around the word crazy every day. I have been described as crazy before. Would I be offended today, if someone described me as crazy?  Absolutely!

#RelationshipGoals If you have this, consider yourself lucky!!


https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/64beadf1-8e32-46f5-b19d-a6b3a20b49ef

This is so scary and sad! What is "voodoo psychological control" anyway? More research needs to be done on this in order to stop and prevent more victimization.

 I just posted this article on schizophrenia.com and was flagged numerous times. What this lady was doing is totally wrong. (f there were ever a positive news story about voodoo, I would probably have read it too. There are none though!) I guess you could say, I am not fond of harmful magic.



https://apnews.com/edaf1f1806ae4fcf84ab5d18b79a6bbb?utm_medium=AP&utm_source=Twitter&utm_campaign=SocialFlow

I can relate to having insomnia! I am conflicted posting this, because although a Facebook friend posted this first, other Facebook friends are quick to recommend that women  (especially mothers) should not be cursing. In high school. I did curse a lot while speaking. I was depressed and also thought it was funny. Now I am just more closeted about it, because I care what other people think, and people tend to  look down on mothers describing their lives with F bombs. LOL 

Man Spotted Walking In The Clouds.

Oh Jesus! You prankster!!

Are you sure this is a new planet forming? This looks straight out of the movie Alien! LOL


https://ktla.com/2018/07/02/astronomers-capture-1st-ever-image-of-newborn-planets-forming/

OMG what are they doing in Hawaii?! Warning: Stay away from Hawaiian Woodrose seeds! You do not want to have a never-ending trip! Trust me!! This is copied from another website.

Psychedelica: Hawaiian Woodrose-induced psychosis

Hello guys,

A female friend of mine took Hawaiian woodrose at a Music Festival. First the Trip was Good, Warm Energie. After 24h the trip didnt stop(Normal up to 8h). She started being aphatic short-term memory stopped, acting worse then a child. Then she started getting attacks where she would Scream. Saying she is possessed by Satan and in Hell. The Festival Medics didnt do anything after 3 Days they gave her some anti-psychotic stuff, and infusions. Now shes saying that evil forces are pulling her. Shes sleeping right now, but the eyes are not even fully shut. She took the Stuff 4 Days ago. Please Help any advice appreciated.

https://azarius.net/news/477/trip-guide-hawaiian-baby-woodrose-seeds/

Sorry I just clicked on the link and realized they were selling it. I thought it was purely an informational page. I definitely would not recommend buying this.