Real World by Matchbox 20

 Matteo: Ok so this is like the 50th song that you have dedicated to Trey Sanders and this song doesn’t even have anything to do with him.  This song makes no sense. You were just sitting at Islands eating…and drinking and reminiscing and you decided to post this? 

Maeve: Did Trey serenade you with this song tonight  or are you now serenading my husband? Trey had fun with me during my college years too, so be forewarned! He had enough fun with me that he married me upon my graduation. So who do you think he had more fun with? Who did he lust for more? Love more? Who is the real winner here? Me! Maeve. His wife! Be forewarned!

Brian Laundrie

 https://www.yahoo.com/news/gabby-petito-parents-says-laundrie-230104715.html

Brian Laundrie is haunting me today after reading this article. I unfortunately might be a little like Brian in this scenario. I love beautiful blondes too. Trey Sanders is probably way way out of my league. If I scored this beautiful blonde catch of a fiancé, I would probably lose my mind too. I am mentally ill and not super intelligent or successful. This guy didn’t know that he was in way over his head. She was in love with the mask he presented to her. When she realized that he was nuts and an abusive asshole to boot, she tried to break up with him and call off the engagement.  She didn’t know just how crazy and dangerous he could get. What would you do if you had the rug pulled out from under you and you got your heart broken? What would your partner do? That is a scary thought!

The love of my life

 Valentina: Are your children going to read your online diary one day and cry their hearts out? You are saying that you never loved their father but rather some college acquaintance? Weird! You better quit posting about your love for Trey Sanders and delete your blog completely or all hell will break lose! Be forewarned!

Dream last night

I had a dream that I wandered into a Santa Cruz speakeasy. You had to be ushered in and led to the back room where they were giving out those popular tee shirts that say Santa Cruz on them. Everyone in the speakeasy got one except me. 🤔 Sounds about right. I have never been to Santa Cruz in my 47 years of life and at this point I may be too old/big to wear the “cool kid” Santa Cruz surf tee shirts anyway. Weird dream.

Maeve: Yes, been there. Done that. Got the Santa Cruz t-shirt. Now what about you? Why are you trying to steal my life? You cannot live my life. You cannot go to Burning Man or Bonnaroo with Trey Sanders. You cannot move to Santa Cruz or move into my Beachview paradise with my precious husband. You have to live your own life in Carlsbad so be forewarned!

Eerie coincidence

 https://blockclubchicago.org/2022/04/22/jimi-hendrixs-penis-made-cynthia-plaster-caster-famous-but-the-chicago-artist-first-and-foremost-was-a-music-fan/

I am a music lover and a musician lover. I always shy away from musicians out of fear of being perceived as some sort of groupie. As a lover of rock and roll, I have read stories about the women who romance musicians. I remember watching a show about Cynthia Plaster Caster many years ago. She was bold for sure in a way that I am not. I think her claim to fame is a little gross actually. Anyway I haven’t thought of her in years until she popped into my consciousness yesterday.  Many years ago when I watched this show about her, I wondered why some of the musicians consented to making a cast as they were sized small. I won’t say who I wasn’t impressed with. I tried a Google image search of Jimi Hendrix’s cast and noted that this woman had just died this week. I must be psychic or it’s a case of a woman’s intuition. Maybe Someone from beyond the grave called to my intention that this infamous rock n roll groupie had passed on. That’s what I think anyway. I had not heard anything on the news about this yet. What made me Google Jimi Hendrix Plaster Caster yesterday? Besides wanting to see it. lol Bizarre!

Failure (a poem)

I feel like a failure when

Compared with

Happily married people

Who have career success. Different world.

Trigger warning suicide conversation

My sister asked me today if I was the one who had a friend in college who never returned one semester after he committed suicide. It was me. My acquaintance friend Jeff Agneta committed suicide in freshman year at UC Santa Barbara. I even went to his funeral in San Jose. One of his friends told me later that he wanted to ask me out.  I wouldn’t have gone out with him because he just wasn’t my type. At the time I was a runner and very thin. He was short overweight and Italian. Perhaps he was too much like me. lol My type is way out of my league basically. If he could see me now, he is probably laughing.

My sister shared a story about her high school classmate which hit home too.

I got called by one of my friends from high school to say say Mario Cornaccio died apparently he asked his high school love to marry him and she said no and broke up with him and he shot him self in her parents backyard which was pretty shocking

Mario was also Italian and his girlfriend was so beautiful he loved her too much.  He was Sicilian and I went to the funeral and his mom was screaming at the coffin why Mario why and I could not watch that so I left it was too much for me

I loved this guy from college too much and it was unrequited so I am forever depressed because he was the one but moving on

I wish no one did this and we could prevent all of them.

 

Yes this song again!

 I was listening to this song on my walk today and a male voice spoke to me. For a change, I didn’t think it was Matteo. It said, “Put your spell on me, baby.” Well they don’t call him Spellman for nothing.”

I usually refrain from using peoples real last names on my blog for fear of being sued for slander. No one is really haunting, stalking or hexing me anyway.

I remember that I edited this whole joke out of my book because it riffed on Spellman, “Trey’s real last name. I kept going to Mrs. Spellman’s Facebook page and I noticed all the misspelled words. Now I am a fantastic speller! I remember being so frustrated hearing her voice taunting me over and over that I finally retaliated, uttering something back to her. “How can you be a Spellman, when you can’t even spell?” I ultimately chose to take the comment out of my book. Anyway, someone will probably cache this page again and it will end up in their Google search. I don’t want that to happen but it’s happened before.

Song of the day

 Sarah McLaughlin married the drummer in her band and this song was about him. Sigh! I love drummers too! This is a great song!

Crazy Tiktok

 https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd4VepcJ/

This is a crazy thing to watch the day after alcohol indulgence. It’s true that you can’t buy good health so you need to take care of your own health as good as possible.

At the Rainbow Bar & Grill

 The spirit of Lemmy Kilmister haunts The Rainbow in the best way possible.

Maeve:  Lemmy Kilmister? That must be what Trey Sanders sees in you. You are unfazed by the sexual antics of Lemmy Kilmister, while I think that he is nasty. Be forewarned!

Maeve: Do you find that people shame on your game? I know that I do and I will continue to do so. Be forewarned!

We’re on a boat!

 

Forever jealous

 I will be forever jealous of couples who get a minute of privacy on vacations like this!

Roses

 

Happy Earth Day!

I am feeling very hippieish this Earth Day! What should I do to celebrate?

Matteo: You’re a day late and a dollar short. Earth Day is not 4/20, so be forewarned.

Maeve: I went to the beach and picked up trash for Earth Day and so much more. I live the conservation lifestyle. What did you do for Earth Day? You drink one Naked Juice in honor of Earth Day and call it a day? I can’t believe how stupid you are. Not very Santa Cruz or Sanders at all!

 

My completely sober 4/20 selfie

Although I don’t smoke weed, here I am posing in my 4/20 selfie, taken completely sober. A holiday is a holiday is a holiday. I also want to say that besides making this picture vivid, there is no other filter used. So there imaginary haters!

Maeve: What a poser! Be forewarned! You wish that you could smoke marijuana. You did this to yourself! Your schizophrenia is the result of your drug indulgences. Did you try to smoke weed with Trey Sanders in college? If only you resisted the temptation to try every drug under the sun, you wouldn’t be in this situation. You hear voices and then blame them on me! Maybe you would be able to get over your obsession with my husband if you stayed sober for good.  Please don’t smoke weed! It will only feed your head with nonsense and fuel your desire for Trey Sanders. Remain on the wagon or suffer the consequences! Be forewarned!

Valentina: It’s a stupid holiday and you are stupid for acknowledging it when you don’t even smoke weed. Be forewarned!

What do out of work writers do to pass the time?

Nothing (a poem)

There is nothing fair

About life

It’s just a rigged roulette wheel 

Of winners and losers 

Life is rigged against you when you have schizophrenia 

Watching the news

 https://www.eonline.com/amp/news/1327711/sherri-papini-formally-pleads-guilty-after-admitting-kidnapping-was-a-hoax

As I sit and watch the television news of the day. I am struck by a news story about a woman who reported that she was abducted by two Latin women and was later found guilty of making the whole story up. It strikes me how similar our stories are. The difference is my story is true. lol 😂 Just kidding.

Valentina: Sherry Papini is a liar, as you are. You tried to pin your psychotic episode on our Latin family. No one believes you either and we should be pressing charges against you. If you continue your pursuit of Trey Sanders, that is just what we will do. We will turn your story and your karma back around on you, so be forewarned!

Maeve: I hope you enjoyed your Easter. Looks like you did a little too much, you round little pumpkin. Eat more ham. It’s so good for you. We know how you are. You are smearing my good name to turn your careless pursuit of my husband into a book or script. You are a faithless home wrecker. That’s all you are and a  failed writer to boot. So you have failed on both accounts because no one is interested in your story. My husband is going nowhere with you. I will make sure of that. You are not even capable of being a threat to me. Be forewarned! 

Matteo: Sherry Papini? Sounds Italian, to me. So you have that in common. You’re just two faithless Italian liars. One of you has yet to see her name dragged through the mud on the National news. We still have some work to do here. She wants her fifteen minutes of fame! Bring it on, and let’s fill her 15 minutes with plenty of slut shaming! Be forewarned. And Maeve is right, Trey Sanders is going nowhere with you. He is happy with Maeve! Can’t you see that?

 

Celebrating Easter 🐣

 I never wear a skirt so this is a big deal for me. 😂 

 

It’s worth a shot!

 Yes I just called this phone number to get a pep talk from a kindergartener. 

Escaping Coachella

Rampant PDA

People on drugs

Where are we?

Ruined, filthy clothes 

Fake “hippies”

What’s that smell?

Crowds

Chaos

Who is this band anyway?

Noise

Port-A-Potties

Why did everyone want to come here so badly?

Sunburns

Selfies

Expensive everything 

How much further do we have to walk?

Blisters

Fake Smiles

When can we leave?

Overheating 

Exhaustion

Get me out of here! 

*Did I miss anything not going to Coachella?

**I know this seems very catty and bitter. It truly is. There are more important things going on in the world anyway.

I followed Jack Black on TikTok

 And I guess he followed me back??!! No seriously I know these are fake. Who are all these impersonators? lol 

Is this sign real?

 I am asking you as if you would seriously answer me.

Loving life at Coachella

No that’s you! Have fun at Coachella! I am over here at Couchella.

Maeve: More like Cowchella in your case. Be forewarned.

Rigged (a poem)

The game of life I played

Was rigged.

And I still beat myself up

For losing.

Maeve: You’re timing is…way off and your time is up, bitch, so be forewarned!!

Matteo: Matteo says that, you think that cyberstalking a married man is ok. We know what you are up to and we are working together to prevent you from interfering in Maeve’s marriage to Trey any longer. You will never walk off into the sunset with Trey, so be forewarned!

Valentina: Trey Sanders is not interested in you in any way, shape, or form. First of all, you are too fat for Trey Sanders. Second of all, you are living with your baby daddy. Third of all, you have three special needs children that this footloose and kid-free stud does not want to take care of, so be forewarned. Take a good look in the mirror. You cannot “land” this gorgeous and brilliant blonde, fit, surfing doctor. In your dreams! Be forewarned!

Visiting my mother and other much loved family members

 I took my mother some roses.

This looks very familiar

 https://www.instagram.com/reel/CcK1pJZDU7L/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Crazy movie that I am watching

 I am watching this crazy movie about a dumbass writer, who is a lot like myself. He hasn’t achieved much since college and he keeps flashing back to the crazy times and to the woman he loved from college. When a drug dealer acquaintance from the past, offers him a pill to motivate him and make him super smart, he says why not? Crazy science fiction movie. lol I need this to help me write better too!

Who were these kids?

 I love this and my rainbow knee patches!

To Die A Spy

To that rare, sweet, shy individual

My one in a million

Time is moving quickly

Too many years have passed

You don't want to die

A mere "spy" to your romantic interest

Come out of the shadows

& Tell them how you feel 

Take that nerve wracking first step

Who knows?

Maybe that is what your love interest has been waiting for all these years

The longer you hold in your truth

The less time you have to be together during this lifetime

It's your move

Quit dreaming &

Get busy living

*I am not being stalked or encouraging it. It doesn't matter anyway. I am not in a position to run away from my current situation. I just wish things were different and we had connected in our younger years. 

Masquerading (a poem)

Memories from a past love relationship

Masquerading as

Hope for present/future love relationship 

Can drive you crazy 

Another good one from Richard Lewis

 

I remember this comedian!

 I remember watching his act when I was younger and feeling better about myself. I would think to myself, “Wow! This guy really has problems! He is telling jokes about seeing his psychiatrist.” Later in life, I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder and now who is laughing? I appreciate that Richard Lewis made the best of his situation. He used his issues in his comedy act and he became a huge success! He’s a funny guy! who has been a mental health advocate for years. Good for him!

Tough talk from a relationship therapist

 https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdHTL5NE/

Matteo: Watch that again! You’re not a “micro cheater.” You’re a full-blown cheater and karma’s a bitch, so be forewarned!

Maeve: Quit babbling on about Trey! I firmly believe that if you were meant to be together, by 47 years old, you would have gotten together by now, and you haven’t, so be forewarned! The future does not look bright for your relationship!

Van Gogh Exhibit

 

Look at those lovebirds!

 Get a room, people! 😭 

True story

 

A doctor walks into a bar

 

What a tease!

 This little airplane was circling our house over and over again. I thought to myself, “This is it! Trey is trying to get my attention.” So I ran outside the house and saw that the airplane was carrying a banner. Clearly it was a message for me from Trey…and it was! The end!

Funny movie

 

It is the birthday weekend of my nemesis

As I ponder birthdays and romantic rivals, I am greeted by two menacing voices.

Maeve: Oh yes! If you recall, it’s my birthday weekend! Trey and I are going to live it up! He is here with me, in Santa Cruz, like the loyal, loving husband that he is. Now we are going to party. Be forewarned! Don’t hold your breath for an invitation or to see Trey Sanders again. I have Trey in my grips and I am not letting him go. Be forewarned! I guess you really screwed up, when you fooled around with Stephen, and posted about it online! You drove him back into my arms. Oh well! I am Treys perfect mate anyway, so be forewarned! I will be sure to post a party picture, while kissing, and dressed to the nines! We're on a boat! Happy birthday to me! Be forewarned!

Matteo: This is not an April Fools joke. Trey is giving Maeve the ultimate birthday present. Trey and Maeve are going to have a baby together. Serves you right for blowing off Trey for Steve, in order to have your 3 babies. Because one is simply not enough. Let’s overpopulate the earth. Now it’s time for Maeve and Trey to consummate baby-making, before it is too late. We know it’s already too late for you. How old are you now? 47? If you try to sabotage or stand in Maeve’s way, we will wreak havoc on your life. We will make your psych ward stay of 2014, look like a walk in the park. Be forewarned!