Meanwhile in Europe... I never travel anywhere but I honestly can't believe this!

https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/14/europe/paris-urinal-intl/index.html

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2884711/Merry-Christmas-Surfers-Paradise-Council-receives-public-backlash-new-open-air-urinals-try-stop-drunken-men-celebrating-silly-season-relieving-streets.html

So I had a heart scare and ended up in the hospital this week. I must say that hospitals suck. I went in to check my heart out, since I thought I was having symptoms. We have heart disease in our family and I have a few other risk factors. Turns out, there is nothing wrong with my heart. But I got an ultrasound of my legs which revealed a small blood clot. (DVT) I was told not to worry about it too much. They prescribed me a daily low-dose Aspirin. I got so antzy laying there for two days. I may have gotten the blood clot while laying there in the hospital for two days. Who knows? 

I missed my family the entire time. I was told, after the fact, that the fluids they were pumping into me were basically sugar-water. They starved me the entire time, so I was miserable. I didn't lose any weight though, because of the sugar-water IV. Yuck!

I wish I was as happy to be in the hospital as Homer Simpson. I hated every minute of my hospital stay.  LOL

I watched Reality Bites tonight on HBO. I haven't watched this movie since it came out in 1994. Great movie! I think I wrote this movie though. What a trip! My brother used to answer the phone, "Welcome to the winter of our discontent." Did they steal that line from the movie "Ferris Buellers Day Off" or from my brother? My memories are so contorted now. I do remember that my mother gave me a Chevron card in high school to buy gas with. I also bought food, drinks, and lighters there at the Chevron mini-mart. That storyline was ripped from my life! Seriously, this was a great, relatable movie. 

Since I seem to be stuck in college mentally, Reality Bites still entertains me. Many times in recent years, I have watched movies from my youth and cringe. Reality Bites is different though. I am admittedly reality-challenged and now I think that someone close to me wrote this screenplay about me. LOL It is that relatable. 

Does anyone remember the movie "Romancing The Stone?" This was a great movie. It was also one of the first movies to be set in Latin America. I hope that I am entertaining readers from the far corners of the world with this blog like in the movie Romancing the Stone. Wouldn't it be nice to be received with open arms, in an exotic country, like Colombia? Watch how Joan Wilder's celebrity status saves this couple from danger in this scene. The first time I watched this I knew that I wanted to be a famous writer one day. :)

This is my Facebook life in a nutshell. Oh...but it gets sooo much worse. If you like a picture or post on some bzatches husbands page, be prepared to get hexed for the rest of your life, like it happened to me! No joke!

So, we meet again...

Me & my shadow. I took this picture on my walk. Look at my huge bell bottoms! LOL

Someone on schizophrenia.com asked us to post the most romantic 80's songs and many people just posted any old 80's song. I may have posted this before, but here is a great romantic song from the 1980's.

Having too much fun with my ladies tonight. I also saw my back pain doctor (Dr Tallman) performing at Mr. Peabody’s in Encinitas. Fun!

WOW! Nature is amazing! Look at National Geographic’s photo of the year!

“Wave your hands in the air like you don’t care. Glide by the people as they start to look and stare.”

Someone just showed me The Flower of the Holy Spirit. You can find so many beautiful things in nature. How can we get these in America? The Holy Spirit in the first photo also looks a bit like Obi Wan. Just saying...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peristeria_elata

https://www.catholicculture.org/commentary/the-city-gates.cfm?id=1356

I remember in 1999, when I first got on my anti-psychotic, I gained a ton of weight. I had just moved from Los Angeles to San Diego and had to start over. I didn't have a job or any friends here. I was miserable. I started taking walks on the beach and the surfers looked at me so cold and territorial. I felt like I did not fit in here at all. The Red Hot Chili Peppers sing about Hollywood being the epitome of California. I disagree. San Diego is much more beachy, in the sterotypical, California-sense. 

I remember having a dream one night, about 20 years ago. I was naked on a roller coaster singing Californication at the top of my lungs. I felt embarrassed. I couldn't have felt less California or beachy-from my hair to my body. I was self-conscious and nothing much has changed. I have gone through periods where I frosted my hair, but it all seems so fake. I went on a date a few years ago and this guy I met online (some poser from Maine) said that I didn't look California. I look like I am from the East Coast. I was insulted. It was annoying but I have heard that many times before from non-Californians. So anyway, I just remembered that dream when this song came on the radio. LOL

House spider of the day?

A.

B. 

The lovable daddy long legs are harmless.  I don’t know about the first one.

This takes me back to college. I remember singing this to a Brazilian foreign exchange student. LOL Mellow Man Ace taught me more Spanish than my high school and college combined.

This appears to be a case of yet another music group that tried to write a song about schizophrenia. Someone posted this on schizophrenia.com, because they liked it. I guess that we can agree to disagree. As a female with SZA, I am offended. Why does the "schizophrenic female" subject of the song get called a bitch? This is the first song I ever really listened to by Sonic Youth (an artsy-fartsy punk group). Maybe I just don't get what they are trying to say, but what the hell? I honestly think I could have written better song lyrics. LOL

I remember I used to shop at Kim Gordon's store, X-Girl, mainly because it was next to Mike D's store, X-Large. I used to go there with my friends a lot in high school. I was never truly a fan of Sonic Youth though.

Someone on schizophrenia.com recommended listening to OM Chanting to remove all the negative blocks in your life. I don't know if I like this video because it is trippy or because it is relaxing. I have not watched the entire video yet. I do not have complete silence right now. I am home with my family, including three children. The video is an hour long. I will try this at a later time though because this fascinates me and I want to see if it helps me.

Update: I have been watching this video over and over again.  It relaxes me and makes me feel great. What a wonderful surprise.  I will  happily make time for meditation now!

Dolphins are truly party animals. LOL See the link below.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/dolphins-seem-to-use-toxic-pufferfish-to-get-high-180948219/

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna1030291

Humans may not be the only ones with substance abuse issues! This was a bit frightening for me to watch.

Infatuated-with the emphasis on the fat!

This is the story of my youth and life. I was infatuated with many men but too fat, due to my medication, to make a connection. Oh well! All that is in the past.

 It is not too late to lose weight but that is easier said than done. I can’t decide what is more difficult, controlling my cravings/hunger or committing to exercise.

Speaking of infatuation, I have always loved Led Zeppelin!

I have been to rowdy bars before but this is ridiculous! Look at all those disgusting creatures! Blame it on the beer goggles for fraternizing with those grotesque guys!

Uplifting Anthem of the Day!

Sharing annoying selfies never gets old!

Summer fun!

This is a fascinating video. Did Prince and Michael Jackson really hate each other? I was particularly fascinated in the part where they discuss Prince sending some Voodoo paraphernalia to Michael Jackson. Was that a joke? Did Prince really try to hex Michael Jackson? LOL

I found these on a mental health Facebook group and these are great!

It is easier said than done! Today I will not focus on distracting men. IE. doctors and rock stars. I don't want that kind of pressure to be rail thin, stay young and hot forever, in order to keep my man. (Who everyone else wants)

That is not reality anyway. I am married to a super smart chemist who is kind to me and he is a great dad! Yah! Focus!

This is the car I thought was sending me a message on my walk today or perhaps they were stalking me. The license plate says "Kallesi." LOL They spelled it wrong. How embarrassing!

I saw this meme tonight and thought that I would share here. The mem isn't super funny but it explains psychosis a bit. Basically, psychosis is a confusing, muddled mess. I noticed that the negative hallucination/delusion picture is from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Now the Real Housewives franchise is crazy, but I watch it. I hope to never interact with women like that. I would avoid them like the plague, in fact, but I will watch them on t.v. I have to admit that this guilty pleasure may be bad for my mental health. It is just so negative and it stresses me out when they start fighting!

These tips below are a great reality check to anyone having psychosis as well as anxiety. I never have actually done these steps. I never even heard of this, but I know that reality checks are good and necessary for me.

Why should I ever take a picture again? From now on, I am only sharing what my cool avatar is up to. :)

I tried flying away to other places. I tried prayer and speaking with priests. At one point my brother recommended Exorcism. I even considered that. One thing and one thing only stopped or greatly reduced the voices. Thank you Vraylar!  Don’t forget to take your meds!

It's hard to lose your mind when you didn't have much of one to begin with

I used to think of myself as a clever, thoughtful child. I studied and got good grades. But in 7th grade I started smoking dope. I did not smoke daily though. Smoking pot was the occasional social thing. But my experimentation spread to other drugs.

I never gave my brain a chance. I started killing brain cells and altering my brain chemistry in junior high. This drug use continued until after college. I often wonder what I could have achieved scholastically and career-wise without those crutches.

I do not think marijuana is good for much. I still blame drugs for my mental illness. I did, however, purchase some CBD massage oil. I rubbed some on my aching back today...and boy was my back turned on! On a serious note, I did feel numbness on my lower back. It may have masked the pain for a few hours. So CBD may good for something! I am giving CBD (at least the massage oil) the chance to do something beneficial for me.

Some guy from Iowa stole my title/story that I wanted to make into a movie. I have never heard of him but he doesn't have mental illness and does not know what the hell he is talking about. It looks super stupid! I should sue! This is my title/story/etc.  I knew this would happen. I can't get a break.


https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5950596/

Oh no! Don’t do this for a photo. I hope you are having a great summer!

https://cbsloc.al/2M71k4K

Happy International Cat 🐈 day!  LOL  I love cats but I personally don’t have a cat.

 I am not sure what I am trying to say here. My bitmoji avatar has too much fun and gets to do all this cool stuff. She is truly living her best life!

Here is a picture of the sunset tonight from my walk. I have been doing a lot of walking lately. I do it both to stay in shape and to clear my head. I was a little bummed today because a major mental health advocate unfollowed me on Twitter. She may have misunderstood my recent silly posts so soon after two major mass shootings. I have been goofing off and avoiding the seriousness of the situation.
This particular woman may also be offended by my story The Voices, which discusses my fear of harmful magic. She is a self proclaimed “witchy,” as she puts it. I don’t want to offend anyone. I also want to post from my heart and mind, not just to please someone else and “say the right thing.” I guess you can’t please everyone. I will continue telling my story! Back to proclaiming my love to the world.

Please watch the video above! “I’m walking. Yes indeed. I’m taking about you and me. I’m hoping that you come back to me.”

I just saw this on schizophrenia.com. This is really challenging advice  for a schizoaffective person, to watch or control their thoughts. It is not something I can do without my medication and extreme focus.

Poem of the day

Sure love is great
It’s a fine line that shouldn’t end
But it tends to bend in all directions
Which leads to the question
What’s a poison to an antidote that only transgresses?

-Anonymous 

"Mentally ill monsters?"  Donald Trump, these mass shooters are mentally disturbed, "white-supremist monsters." Donald Trump deflects a lot! Were the shooters hearing voices that told them to shoot people? No, they are not schizophrenic. This should be a time of reflection, not deflection. Here is some actual insight into the specific mental illness of schizophrenia.


https://bigthink.com/mind-brain/schizophrenia-by-culture?rebelltitem=1#rebelltitem1

Hallucinations and delusions are deceptive, like Donald Trump.

On the subject of love, this wonderful song reminds me of my children. I dedicate this to them. "You're the best thing about me. You're the best thing that ever happened to me!" U2 writes the best love songs!

Funny meme. I don’t dabble in harmful magic. I just fear it!

So, I got my first page views from Venezuela today. Welcome Venezuelan visitors!