Saturday, June 29, 2019

A book reviewer criticized the fact that I did not explain much about my children in my book, "The Voices." I kept them out of my chaotic story, for the most part. I was trying to protect them but I see the gap it left in my story. The reader would want to know how they are doing. 

My children struggled throughout my psychotic break. My husband cared for them well, but they reacted to my absence and having a broken home. Fortunately, I eventually got back on my psychiatric medication and reunited with my husband. They are doing much better now!

Women on my therapy site lamented today that they would never have children because of their mental illness. Mental health experts always advise against mentally ill women from having children. My psychiatrist did the same. However, she could not force me to use protection. I would not listen to her anyway. I wanted children; a big family like my relatives. I had children purposefully and enthusiastically. 

One thing my psychiatrist may not have known back then and failed to mention to me concerned the birth abnormalities my children could have, due to taking my anti-psychotic while pregnant. I was very uninformed about the link between mothers with mental illness giving birth to children with Autism. 

My children have Autism and I love them dearly. They are super cute and sweet. Our lives are fine now.  We have each other, an intact family, and all the basic necessities.  Sadly, I don’t know if my children will ever be able to support themselves. Who will take care of them after my husband and I are gone? 

Having children turned out to be test me, between my issues and my childrens'.  Fortunately, I am a high-functioning woman, living with mental illness, as my children are high-functioning Autistic. I am also fortunate to have a great "neurotypical" helping hand husband who is a great provider.  Believe it or not, I am coasting considerably through my day-to-day life and trying to remain optimistic for the future. My children are smart and growing/improving every day!

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