Your wife is a witch (a country song)

I have to tell you a little secret 

I’ve been keepin’

And I’m finally going to let you in on it here

There’s something very peculiar in your midst 

And let me tell you what it is

It’s that you’re wife is a witch 

Can’t you tell she’s a witch?

Oh how I wonder 

If you know 

What she does 

On the “down low”

You may love your younger babe

But her skull collection should’ve been a dead giveaway 

You see, she has a secret pastime 

She spends her private moments hexing 

I mean, she really prays to evil spirits daily 

She also curses me out telepathically 

She must summon the devil frequently 

With the help of her other witch family 

Their about to throw me wide awake in a ditch 

For being the “other bitch “

Did you know that they sit around plotting 

And also cursing and watching

Through a black magic portal 

She picked up somewhere in her travels

You will probably never see

How she is keeping you from me

And certainly if you ever left 

You would feel her unbridled wrath 

The problems for both of us would grow bigger 

So I am minding my own business 

And keeping this truth hidden 

Out of love for you

I am focusing on my own life

To save you from the hurricane called “your wife”

But your wife, she’s a witch 

Can’t you tell she’s a witch?

Oh how I wonder 

If you know 

What she does 

On the “down low”

Matteo: You rang? Maeve’s a witch? So, what are you? That’s a great idea. Let’s throw her in a ditch! Bury her alive, like in the movies! Don’t hold your breath for anyone to sing this! Your ambition is laughable. Be forewarned!