My father has a nickname for me

 My father has a nickname that he has called me before. I am El Pollo Loco or “the crazy chicken.” because I am always going there to eat.  He hates El Pollo Loco but I like it.  I do love eating chicken and I admit to that. I never ate El Pollo Loco before moving to Carlsbad. Upon moving here, I started eating El Pollo Loco all the time hence the nickname. I probably overindulged in fast food which contributed to my weight gain. I don’t blame fast food as much as I blame my antipsychotic though . I gained a ton of weight after moving here and I went into hiding. Carlsbad is a beach community but I didn’t want to get made fun of so I avoided going out especially going  to the beach. I dreaded running into people from my past because I didn’t like how I looked. I felt like a loser because I was unemployed. Before that, I felt on top of the world. In college, I thought I was really going places and I had the world at my feet. Reality hit me upon graduation and moving to a new city where I didn’t have any friends. All of that  contributed to my insecurity. Then one day I was walking around Carlsbad Village with my parents and bumped into some familiar faces from college days. I had a total panic attack. “El Pollo Loco” took over and I ran from those guys from days past. My Dad was right. I really am a crazy chicken. That was the day I blew off my soulmate and potential future husband. As Cher sings, “If I could turn back time…”