Val: Your statement teeshirts are a joke!
Maeve: Why are you trying to attract my husband with corny teeshirts that say things like “I left my heart in San Francisco?” We don’t even live in San Francisco. It’s Santa Cruz. Trey Sanders is from Aptos to be exact. Get it straight!!
Matt: Let’s talk about your biggest insecurity. Your double chin is a public eyesore. It is disgusting and what are you doing to lose weight? You just ate a cupcake in the middle of the afternoon for no reason at all! You should dress up as Wilbur for Halloween. Not the kook. I mean the pig but you could pull off either. Have a weekend…and don’t wonder too much how we are spending ours. We know that you are manifesting a witch costume for Halloween. Halloween is for amateurs anyway. Witches hate you so we are hexing you. Be forewarned!
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