Maeve: Whatever happened to partaking in Dry January? It is January 5th and so far, the only dry part of your January is your aging, peri-menopausal vagina. Yes, you are over the hill. You are too old for my studly soulmate, Trey Sanders. He is much better off with his younger, sexier, stylish, CrossFit #1 wife. He doesn’t need a desperate downgrade like you, no matter what he whispers in your ear. “The sexual chemistry is palpable?” Pfft! You are dreaming and definitely delusional, so be forewarned. Heed your psychiatrist’s words. “Physical attraction and lust fades quickly.” After leaving his rocking wife and life in Santa Cruz, he would be left with an old, cranky, frizzy haired hag. My husband, Dr. Trey Sanders, knows that he is too smart to get stuck with you. He is too good for you. Period. Be forewarned!
It is raining today and I am stuck indoors, for the most part. No wonder I have started ruminating and hearing voices. I am going a little stir crazy at home.
Val: Ok, now you have watched one TikTok about the flooding in Santa Cruz and you are attempting to wax poetic on it. As if you know all about Santa Cruz. You are a nerd who reads the Santa Cruz Sentinel to feel close to Trey Sanders. Stalker! Your evil ways brought the violent storm to Santa Cruz. If anything happens to the marital home of Trey and Maeve, it will be your fault completely. Evil begets evil. Adultery is a cardinal sin and you are next! You deserve to get slammed with freezing cold water! Prepare for the turbulent storm coming your way. Brace yourself, Carlsbad! Be forewarned!
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