Unwrapping my first Christmas present of 2023

In this first picture I am opening my new fur coat for Christmas. Here’s to a great holiday season of great gifts! Starting off strong with a fur coat! You know how it is. That’s how I roll! I guess the rest of you need to step up your present giving game now! Just kidding! It’s a cozy faux fur blanket.

Maeve: In Santa Cruz, we just call that roadkill. That’s simply an animal carcass wrapped in a pretty paper bag. It’s  actually giving frenemy vibes! The gift bag is nicer than the actual gift, but have fun with that!

Christmas time in San Diego is nice. I haven’t had a bite and sip at Las Olas in years! It was a good time with my friend.

Heaven! I’m in heaven!

 No I’m not in Italy. I’m at Fashion Valley, San Diego. I got a little sidetracked while Christmas shopping today. I walked right into Dolce & Gabbano and I wasn’t even checking the prices! I also didn’t buy anything there. The personnel working in the store were super nice. If you can’t tell, I am posing next to a sheer black mesh shirt with an image of the Virgin Mary on it. I don’t know who in San Diego would actually wear any of this stuff or who can afford it but certainly not me! This is the closest to Italy that I have ever been and I know that true Italians and “fashionistas” would probably scoff at the clothes I was wearing.  I didn’t even know these stores opened at Fashion Valley until today. Anyway I had fun!

I love that she keeps bringing him up!

 https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/minnie-driver-admits-matt-damon-100003744.html

I have to laugh over Minnie Driver continuing to shade Matt Damon over the way he ditched her in 1997! I mean, she is in Hollywood and the stupid press continue to ask her about it, to have a story that will get a lot of views,  but please! She keeps shading Matt Damon. It’s hilarious! Does it make her look bitter? Yes, but it’s also hilarious. He seemed like a young jerk at the time anyway. He was overhyped and I was not attracted to Matt Damon or Ben Affleck anyway, so I never even watched Good Will Hunting..

I am not the one to judge Minnie Driver, who is simply sharing her truth. What she is saying resonates with me because I keep ruminating over a man I met in 1994, I got Minnie Driver beat! If you think that there should be a time limit for remembering certain men who you fell in love with and who broke your heart, then I don’t know what to tell you. I feel your pain, Minnie Driver! I feel your pain!

Repping Arizona State

 I did not end up attending Arizona State as I have mentioned many, many times. I can’t seem to forget or actually remember accurately my college years at UCSB.

Tripping out on this email!

I have a realtor friend who may be reading this blog but I am not sure. She was a neighbor who sold our house in 2015. Anyway we keep in touch via social media and she just sent me an email that felt so random. I don’t know that much about her besides she loves healthy food and possibly a bit bohemian. But this struck me as extremely hippie. I mean I think I am a hippie until I encounter someone who just completely out hippies me. I mean what have I been thinking? I always talk about how my parents never allowed me to apply to UC Santa Cruz because they said I was leaning “hippie.” I always regretted not even visiting there. What were my parents scared of and why did I listen to them? Well moments like this help me understand that it probably might have been too much of a culture shock anyway. Smoking a little reefer does not a hippie make, nor does it make you a dancing Deadhead. When I went to my one Dead concert in 1994 I felt out of place. I didn’t feel a sense of community. I felt peer pressure to take mushrooms and the girl who I drove to the show in Las Vegas was being super bitchy and this might have been the last straw in our friendship. I mean our friendship definitely splintered here and we “lost touch” as they say. I thought she was a super poser anyway so good riddance to her but you know at almost 49 years old just coming to terms with how square I really am and probably always was. I definitely don’t spend a lot of time walking around outside barefoot and I don’t think that would honestly help me in any way shape or form. But honestly my partner for so many years has been a scientist who would ask first, “Is there any scientific evidence that there is any benefit to doing this and who is actually doing the research? I mean this is kind of hogwash but I don’t live in Northern California or Santa Cruz so I can admit how feel and not play along with them in order to fit in. I mean whatever floats your boat but I am not going anywhere barefoot except on the beach maybe because I don’t want to look crazy here either!

I

 

Feeling lucky 🍀

 I am grateful today that I never removed all of my clothes, making international news, the one time I took acid at Disneyland. #Blessed

Many people are judging and pointing the finger at that man for removing his clothes at Disneyland and calling him a sicko! Other people (like me) are sitting back reflecting on the time(s) they took drugs at Disneyland and thanking their lucky stars their trip didn’t end up the same way! I am so grateful that it didn’t turn out for me, as it did for this young man. The aftermath of taking drugs at Disneyland is for him, sobering up in a jail cell and realizing the huge amount of trouble he is in. He might have possibly messed up his entire life! I empathize with him and I am not judging him too hard here because it could have been me!  I remember walking around Disneyland on acid thinking that Disneyland was so different than how I remembered it as a child! I mean how much plastic was used to build Disneyland? Is everything in Disneyland made of plastic? It just looked so fake, cheaply made, and bad for the environment! I was tripping outside at the Small World ride like this guy did too. It was my favorite ride growing up but it just looked so trippy from the outside. That huge cuckoo clock! I mean, come on! It was very Alice In Wonderland for me. I wondered if they built the outside of The Small World ride to make it look trippy on purpose? I am glad that what we took was relatively mellow and it didn’t give us the loss of self control that this man had.  We left there early, heading to Venice Beach, which was better for us in that moment anyway.

Mama said knock you out!

 Yup that boy in the background didn’t know what hit him! Watch out world! Here I come!

Me a hiking goddess from the start

 Yup starting young on the trails! You can see I kept that up! Here I am at The Grand Canyon!

People can surprise you!

 People can surprise you! People can evolve. As my 30 year high school reunion approaches, my graduating class is creating a photo montage of high school memories .I was pretty antisocial in high school and therefore never invited to any parties! I graduated very detached from the majority of my class. I had a friend who posted a flattering picture of me in the collage recently. Surprise! Surprise! I always thought this friend was jealous of me and not a real friend, but here you go. Maybe she just posted this picture from a school fashion show because she looked good. Maybe she didn’t have an individual picture of herself because we walked down the runway together. That’s me in the middle though. The only reason I was in the fashion show was because I was a senior and my mother put in a lot of volunteer hours with the mothers club and requested that I be in it.

Monday night realization

 I have come to the realization that becoming a doctor increases a man’s attractiveness level exponentially. My mother and I have always swooned over cute and brainy male doctors. I feel like my mother used to flirt with my good friends doctor dad, to the chagrin of her mother. I also think that contributed to why her mother never liked me. Her Dad looked like friggin’ Gomez Addams anyway . He carried himself in a very regal way. I thought he was a bit arrogant and condescending. He used to correct me when I called him Mr. Instead of Dr..

I believe that my mother would crush too hard on her male primary care physician late in life too. Yes, he was intelligent and respected, but the doctor thing just completely blinded her to his actual level of physical attractiveness  Ah well! My mother and her primary care physician are both dead now. Together, at last! 

On that note, I am unfortunately reminded that I am in the same boat as my mother, In reality, my college crush-turned-handsome doctor is happily married and living his best life by the beach in Santa Cruz. I will probably not reconnect with Trey until we both meet our maker and bump into each other at an ever-stimulating Nervous Sheep concert/party in the sky!

Womens insecurities and male plastic surgeons

 When people complain about women relying on plastic surgery to boost their self esteem and attract men, I get defensive. Yes women’s (my) vanity is an issue. But a bigger piece of the puzzle is  the fact that we so greatly seek male validation and attracting the male gaze. I admit it. I love when random men look at me and I get the impression that they are attracted to me. Around here, it doesn’t always get you far. We have extremely long stop lights and men spend their time frequently “female watching.” I get more flattered by men that I am actually attracted to. But the majority of men are just looking and probably have wives or live in girlfriends at least. 

There have been times in my life that I focused on a flaw in my appearance and chalked it up as the reason why I was single or not hooked up with someone who I was super attracted to. Anyway growing up in LA, California and now San Diego, California, I have always felt the competition here is stiff. People use plastic surgery to even the playing field and to reduce their own insecurities. I have used it. My mistake has been in trusting men simply because they were a doctor. A lot of plastic surgeons are just grifters. The doctor that I went to get a tummy tuck from pointed out new flaws that I didn’t even think of and talked me into a bunch of other things I wouldn’t have otherwise done. Why did I listen to his unsolicited opinion? Because he was a doctor, a male doctor and there is the grift! Doctors will point out flaws that you didn’t even think of and talk you into things under the guise of he’s trying to help you. He also told me that my breasts were too small and he ended up shoving some fat into them during the liposuction process. I didn’t give him permission to do that and then he tagged it  onto my bill, after the fact. Oh well! At least my breasts look good (for now!) But it seems like plastic surgeons always help you, possibly, with one thing,, and then completely screw something else up! Then you have to go and get that fixed! That’s why you can never really win with plastic surgery. The plastic surgery industry is rigged! You will probably never be satisfied with work done . Anyway, knowing that, has steered me away from plastic surgery addiction. I am 481/2 years old and although I have done some things in regards to plastic surgery, I have never done any Botox/ fillers and I actually think that I am done with all that. I would love for people to say that I aged gracefully. I am not 100% sure that is in the cards but “knock on wood”that I don’t cave in or ever seriously need a face lift! 

Oh, my original point was don’t blame women for their plastic surgery addiction, as if it was not caused by some unreal misogynistic female ideal that we are not supposed to age or god forbid gain weight. Don’t give me that women just have body dysmorphia. Behind every botched/overdone woman, there is a trusted male plastic surgeon telling them that they look great and to keep coming back for more work!

Love is truly blind!

Talk about a relationship that was doomed from the start! This is a funny sketch where both characters on the date seem oddly familiar . I love it when people fly under the radar in terms of mental health, never get the professional help that they need, and force everyone to deal with their undiagnosed insanity. There probably is a pill out there that would help Meegan but the next hurdle is getting her to admit that there is a problem and to take the pill that she needs. Also I do not how her date Andre can be so dumb as to not see the red flags waving all around Meegan. 

You will notice that the female is the crazy one in this sketch, but men are definitely no better in showing respect and patience to their waitpersons. Men can ruin your dining experience in a heartbeat with their rudeness, their high expectations, and their infantile reactions to the natural delays and mishaps that can occur while dining out.

Ok back to Meegan. I leave you with this question: Do you think that Meegan could benefit from an antipsychotic?

I was today years old…

 I was today years old when I first heard this fantastic song. My new anthem! Thank you to Harry Belafonte for writing this and to the Geateful Dead for turning me onto it!

I am on Reddit

 Ok so I am on Reddit now anonymously (Flashback Daydream) which is definitely the way to go. You have every kind of anonymous asshole on Reddit. I joined a N County San Diego group to see what is happening locally and it confirmed what I have believed all along. I have lived here since I graduated college around 1999. I still feel like a tourist. People think I look like one too. It is a literal desert for diversity here. So some of the answers to this particular redditors question were pretty rude. They replied that homosexuality is not something to be proud of, so you don’t see too many outwardly gay people around here. Someone else said you don’t need to find a gay friendly space for your wife, you need to find a divorce attorney. Anyway,  it was my mothers idea to vacate Los Angeles for San Diego. I was unemployed, so she convinced me to move with her and my Dad. She said no one will rent to you with out a steady paycheck. Her and my father owned apartment buildings up there but living in one of their units was not an option, I guess. My mother thought San Diego was beautiful and her side of the family had already moved down here. I just always considered it white flight, in a way. Who are we trying to get away from and are the people in San Diego any better or nicer.? I met alot of blonde, white people down here. Many had all kinds of addiction problems and they definitely thought they were better than me, a dark haired curly Italian looking gal. I felt like the darkest person down here for a long time! A second class citizen, for sure! But I was looking around at the beach crowd like, ok girl between your hair bleach, your flat iron, and possibly from surfing, your hair is fried to a crisp! At least my hair looks healthy and I was very resistant to do what all those other girls did to look so beachy and California. I met a ton of girls with every kind of eating disorder but growing up in California, that was not new. I do feel that N County San Diego is a desert for minorities and people with alternative lifestyles. Who wants to stand out here? Conformity is the norm. I have made friends with other people in a similar space as me, over the years. A support system of nice people but I don’t know if I will ever feel completely at home here. I have known for years that my children are unique. They are all on the autism spectrum and super sweet. I do think they may all be LGBTQ+ or open minded about the issue, so I don’t know if this environment is the best for them. I said it before and I will say it again. I should have moved to Santa Cruz a long time ago.

My nemesis and the bane of my existence

 If I had waited a bit longer for my male college comrades to get out of school, grow the hell up, and be ready to commit, this would have never happened. I wanted to get married and have children. I was led to believe that I would decrease my risk of having a child with birth defects and have more children if I married younger. It was a foolish decision. Was I the one who wanted a ton of children or did my mother want a ton of grand babies? Yes I used the term grand babies because my mother was less interested in growing children and teenagers.  Her parenting was minimal as I grew. We didn’t discuss much and she definitely didn’t guide me through a safe and responsible teenage phase of life. She was less hands on as my children outgrew their infancy too. Some help she turned out to be! She promised she would always be there to help me with my children. It’s takes a village and all that mumbo jumbo that my children never ended up having. 

Anywho, I feel like Maeve is totally convinced that she  and Trey are soulmates. I believe it was more about her Type A competitive sorority girl instincts than anything. She put in a lot of work to land Trey. Dressing to the nines, flirting, and  enthusiastically initiating sex. She and her dorky East Coast friends were enamored with Trey,  this cool California blonde surfer/musician/aspiring doctor. For people from Pennsylvania, he definitely wouldn’t make it out of med school single. In California , surfers come a dime a dozen. The coolest surfers just do it and don’t spend every second advertising that they surf though. The competition is stiff for surfers in California. If you aren’t a California native and a surfer for real, normally you can forget about breaking into that world and landing a surfer. I hate watching this farm girl from New York fake it. Just dye your hair blonde, move to California, and learn to surf. She really should just give up the surf lifestyle pose. I really want to strangle her at this point. lol But why the hell was Trey frequenting undergraduate sorority parties, while he was in med school and having graduated college long before?. I feel like it was a revenge tactic to bother me. He knew I always despised sorority bitches/hoes and yes, of course, he was trying to get laid while in Pennsylvania. Whatever Maeve thinks, she lucked out completely. She is the lucky one totally and moving to California was a great move. Her hometown and college town totally suck! Well, at least I don’t have to kiss my husband’s ass daily. This bitch is on the hamster wheel of life, she is sweating that her man doesn’t even look at another woman, much less leave her in the dust. Not that he hasn’t thought about it!

Possible hallucination

 I told Stephen that I just saw Mark Mothersbaugh driving up La Costa in a tiny car that said “Devo” on it and had musical notes everywhere. I think he is worried that my medication isn’t working anymore.

Esteban: What the hell kind of hallucination is that? I am both shocked and disappointed in your nerdyness! Be forewarned!

My high school reunion

 My 30 year high school reunion is coming up on Saturday October 21st. I am hesitant to go. I never really fit in at my high school. I basically never went to any parties in high school. I was asked by two different guys to my senior prom but I turned them down. I didn’t want to go with either of them because I really didn’t know them nor was I attracted to them. I was previously talked into going to a prom at a different school with a guy that I was not attracted to and it was such a drag. Towards the end of the night, he started hitting on me and I wasn’t having it. Then he started pouting and I eventually asked him to take me home. I knew the drill by the time it came to my own senior prom. I was not going to go with a guy who I wasn’t attracted to. One of the guys who asked me to the prom has already RSVPd to my high school reunion. He responded that he and his wife will be there. He is happily married I am sure and good for him. He was a nice guy. He deserves happiness. My joke is: if all of the chubby guys who I rejected in high school and college,, could see me and who I ended up with now, they would definitely have the last laugh. Chubby guys who I was not attracted too, have always been attracted to me and they will shoot their shot. I guess I look approachable and I am usually single so it is assumed that I would be open to them. Little do they know that I am very picky and Iprefer skinny blonde guys. I am born and bred in California and have always lived very close to the beach. I prefer blondes, to be honest. I am single because I am picky and so be it. I would rather be single than be forced into obligatory sex with someone that I am not attracted to. 

So I am ambivalent about whether to go to my high school reunion. I feel like I would have to have an awkward conversation with the guy who I turned down for the prom because I don’t think he ended up going either. I would probably end up apologizing or something. I don’t have anything to brag about, in terms of career or relationship, so it’s a little embarrassing. Isn’t that what goes on at a high school reunion? I only kept in touch with a handful of people from high school, through Facebook. I do not want to speak to most of the people who have RSVPd, including the woman who organized the reunion. I am divorced technically. I am living with schizoaffective disorder. I am just doing the best I can, with the cards I was dealt. I would never take Stephen with me to my high school reunion because A. He is a hermit and would rather stay home. B. He has a bad attitude and I do not enjoy his company  C. I continue to be frustrated with his obesity. When I met Stephen, he was thin. He was fresh out of Jenny Craig. He would jog regularly . He made an effort to keep his weight down. I was the chubby one due  to beginning my antipsychotic use. Something about my weight made him feel comfortable. He basically let himself go, as soon as we got engaged and he locked me in. It’s crazy. After we married, I began having children and gaining more weight. He was thrilled and he ate whatever he wanted. This was beyond sympathy weight. He threw in the towel and I realized that he hated exercising. He never snapped into trying to stay fit to remain attractive to me. He could care less.  I still resent him for that. A woman I know was told by her relatives, “Now if you were thin when you were single, you would have attracted a thin husband!” I always think about that in reflection. As of late, Stephen has lost weight. After being diagnosed with Diabetes, his fear of death triggered a complete lifestyle change. He is very careful what he eats. He takes his medication. He checks his blood sugar. I am aware, that he would never have lost weight, if it weren’t for his diabetes diagnosis. He definitely would never have done it for my sake or to keep the passion alive. FYI there never was passion to begin with. I think certain people want to see me at the high school reunion just to gloat about their life ,that they are going to portray as being perfect. They would eat up all the honest details of my imperfect reality.  For the girl who thought she was too good for chubby guys, look at me now! Karma’s a bitch!

Car washes and flashbacks

 Why is going to the car wash by my house always a good trip? I enjoy the cool psychedelic colored soap they use. Fun!

I am on a roll!

 I have not been tortured enough, by my voices, to get carried away and complain about them here for 5 months! My new medication, Caplyta, has been working so well and I am not constantly hungry either. So I am feeling much better and pleased with my medication change. Unfortunately I still do creep on peoples profiles daily that I have no business looking at. I have a really hard time forgetting and moving on from college. I am still obsessed with my one male college crush but I have blocked every female roommate that I knew. I did not really consider them ever friends. It was total fakeville and they were actually pretty catty. I was peeping all the people that I blocked on Facebook tonight. I saw the roommate that I felt was the coolest of them all and I really think that she is mocking me in me in her current Facebook picture. She is wearing this curly brunette wig with blonde highlights. What can I say? She looks better than her regular, flat, brown hair but I guess haters gonna hate.

I had worse roommates than her though. I remember in my fourth year of college, I was living with a few girls, who were not kind to me. So, I start isolating myself from them. I was surprised when they invited me to New Orleans for Spring Break. I didn’t feel comfortable going anywhere with them. I was convinced that they didn’t have my back and I was petrified of the thought of going to New Orleans with them. I knew that I would not have a good time there with them. They had treated me like crap the whole year! So, I said “no thanks” and blew them off completely. I never regretted it. It’s nothing against New Orleans. You need to choose your travel companions wisely, as they could make or break your whole trip.

Here’s where it gets weird. I would get so paranoid just thinking about taking that trip there with them and all the things that could go wrong with travel companions who do not truly have your back. This is where my mental illness figures in. I have always felt that I am a bit psychic. There have been a few times in my life where I have predicted the future. Also, I have felt that my family members who have passed on, have guided me and advised me, in a way that most people are unable to hear. When I was in college, I really knew nothing about the history of New Orleans. I did remember thinking that if there was a horrible natural catastrophe, while we were on our trip, those chicks I traveled with, would have left me for dead. I did envision a flood. Fortunately for them, Hurricane Katrina did not happen for many years later.  

I thought it was merely my psychic powers that stopped me from going on that trip. But it may have been more than that. I was today years old (or very recently) when I learned that the largest lynching ever in the United States was of 11 Italian-Americans in New Orleans. It’s strange how much of American history is omitted from history books and how much is downright fabricated. Now I believe that my departed Italian family members were advising me not to go there. I felt fearful and I decided the best thing I could do was avoid that vacation destination completely. I heard that Italians in Italy know more about this historical event than most Americans. There is a song about it too, but the words are in Italian. I have been unable to find it on the internet. Of course, my parents went on to travel to New Orleans a few times and they had a lot of fun at Jazzfest as do many other people who travel and enjoy New Orleans regularly.

Valentina: What is the other reason you avoid traveling to New Orleans? You forgot to mention anything about Voodoo  priestesses in New Orleans. We know that you are deathly afraid of them. You know by now that Maeve loves New Orleans! Maeve and Trey lived there for awhile and took their breathtaking, enviable engagement photos on Bourbon Street. Eat your heart out, bitch! You passed up on Trey Sanders and when you peeped his pictures with Leigh you completely regretted your decision. Is he just so handsome in a suit and tie? He is a taken man now and he is going nowhere, so you can continue to suffer and reel in regret. Maeve may have picked up a few tricks from the friendly locals. You have already accused her of using Voodoo to hold onto her man. You are such a stupid and jealous bitch! Jealousy and delusion are a truly toxic mix. You must stay far away from Trey Sanders or you will be digging your own ditch! Be forewarned!

Hiking with a wonderful person!

 

Feeling a certain way tonight

 So I am usually paranoid concerning my future and my love life. Usually my paranoia is baseless…most likely. Tonight I want to vent about something else that is giving me situational paranoia which I believe is unrelated to my mental illness. As I have discussed before, I was raised Catholic and I aspired to continue that practice throughout my life. Well things happened. I married someone who just admitted after many years that he never considered himself a Catholic. His parents dragged him to church every Sunday and raised him to be Catholic. But as an adult he found for himself that he does not share the same beliefs as Catholics. He is a scientist by profession. He believes in evolution and things that he has found to be proven by science. At a certain point in time, my children were In Catholic school with other Catholics. I hoped that they would attend Catholic school and be raised Catholic. However Due to My children’s special needs we instead found ourselves in public schools. Public education has all the resources we need and has been beneficial to my children in many ways. My public school parent experience has brought me into contact with other parents from many different walks of life. I always loved people very different from me. I have always felt that if they are nice to me and there is a connection well that is all that matters. But sometimes I am struck with how different we all are. I have had a negative experience with someone who I thought was sort of a friend. But then I realized that he is the type of person who would not be friends with me if I ever copped to being Catholic. He didn’t know I was Catholic and he doesn’t like Catholics. Therein lies the problem. He makes Catholic jokes and Irish jokes. Some of our mutual friends think this is socially acceptable and even egg him on. I am very angry at this person for his jokes and I actually unfriended him on Facebook. Before I unfriended him for good we had a few negative interactions on Facebook in April. Our relationship just soured after I reacted to his jokes and took an indirect potshot at him. Needless to say he got my joke and he has been going postal on me every since. We both have three children on the Autism spectrum but unlike me, he always plays the sympathy card and it works. Every one loves this kook and feels sympathy for him. Not one person has taken my side in our little tiff. It’s insane. He has been going around my children’s school campaigning for sympathy and telling his side of the story. Talk about passive aggressive. He is a little bitch. He has such a huge ego that he hates to be challenged by a woman especially. He is and will always be a democrat Donald Trump. So someone bought my book The Voices on Amazon during this time. He left me an anonymous one star review. I know exactly who it is! What a dick! My book about my mental health journey is called The Voices by Danielle Flore. I am selling it on Amazon. May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Please buy my book and leave a positive review if possible. Ok end of rant.

This cat!

 My cat loves me really! She’s not giving me a dirty look or anything. That’s just how she looks. 

Everything she does is wonderful!

 My cat Cinnamon can do no wrong and she is hilarious!

Hello again!

 I have missed you but you were always on my mind! I love Willie Nelson! I am not a huge country fan but he is awesome and definitely the King of country music! Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame 2023? He’s got my vote!

So I have not heard too many voices on my new medication. Despite a lot of stress in my life lately, I am managing just fine. As far as my hallucinations and conflicts with reality, I still hallucinate all the time. I thought James Hetfield and Kirk Hammett drove past me the other day. It was awesome to see them! I am a huge fan of Metallica! I still cyberstalk that guy from college and his wife. I hope you guys had a fabulous vacation. (Not really!) Looking at their annoying vacation photos, I had to face the reality that he is still married and not leaving his wife anytime probably. I can’t believe all the things his wife did in her life to hold on to him. She spoiled him rotten actually. Moving across country to be with him? Agreeing to not have any children? Yikes. I would not have done either of those things probably. She pretends to be fully stoked on sleeping in a tent in cold ass weather and BMX riding? What a great vacation! She seems full of it but that’s ok. She pretends to be super into watching professional male sports. Now I always thought girls like that were soooo fake. Anyway I guess he made the right choice. I’m better off too. The guy from college will always be on my mind though. My mental torture will always be thinking about doing things differently when I was younger, when I had a chance with him. It’s too late now. Oh well he will always be on my mind!

My new medication

 I don’t want to open the door to hearing voices which is why I have not been blogging. The well has run dry as I have no voices to report. My new medication must be working better than my last antipsychotic. I don’t want to jinx myself by taking too much about it. If you don’t hear from me here on my blog, it is because all is well and my medication is doing its job. I cannot believe I thought Vraylar was working so well when I was constantly hearing voices and going on tangents about them. On the other hand, without my voices, I have to think of something else to write about. I need a new story to tell. I am thankful to the makers of Caplyta as it works better than Vraylar did for me. Finger crossed that my luck will continue. I have not heard voices since March 16. Let’s see how long I can maintain this voice free streak!

In honor of St Patrick’s Day tomorrow

Here is Drake performing in Dublin. It must be the Irish in me. I love this song by Drake. The audience here is going crazy for Drake during this song! Wow!

This is true!

 

OMG

 I thought it was K!

The reason why no one reads this

 Valentina: The reason why no one reads your blog, much less buys your book is because you are a weak willed bitch. You are pathetic. In this day and age, people want to read the story of a strong female protagonist. They don’t want to hear the outdated notion that any woman would be a happier, better person if she attracts said man. Your protagonist is dependent on a man for happiness. You, Danielle, suffer from the grass is greener on the other side syndrome, as well. Let me assure you, that you will not be happier if you steal Maeve’s husband,  because we will make your life a living hell! Treys family will hate you! Your own family will hate you! Home wreckers get zero respect! If you didn’t have your head so far up your own ass, maybe you would be able to see that. Your story is racist and love triangles are the most tired, antiquated story line possible. You are lucky that no one is bothering to read your book, as it would get horrible reviews! You have been cancelled before you have even begun your writing career. We are not interested in reading the life and times of a washed up, old hag, so be forewarned!

Well it finally happened

 I had a dream last night where my mother spoke to me from beyond the grave. She advised me not to have any more children because they all have issues. While she was alive, my mom expected me to marry and have children. She was an Irish Catholic and she loved huge families. She had four children and she wanted me to have 4 or 5 children. She didn’t take into account my mental illness or how much it would tax me to have so many children. She promised me that she would remain close and be very hands on with my children. She wanted a lot of grandchildren in close proximity to enjoy. The problem with my mom was she preferred babies. What good would she be to my growing children? Eventually they grow far beyond babies into teenagers. Addressing teenage problems is very different than changing diapers. She never appeared to crave closeness to her own children during our teenage years. She was actually very distant and short with us during those years. I could have used more guidance and a more conversational relationship with her at that time. Anyway, I figured out that I had mentally checked out of having more children after having my third child who was very impacted with Autism. At that point, my mother still didn’t understand. She would deny my children’s autism or deny that they had any problems. She would tell me how beautiful they were and she wanted to see what the next baby would look like. I would like to think that she sees everything differently now and she agrees with me. I appreciate her giving me the advice and approval that I wanted to hear from her for so many years. At 48 years old I don’t want anymore children and I am taking steps to avoid another pregnancy.

Valentina: Get a clue! Your mother wasn’t talking to you in a dream. That was me insulting you and your children. I will see to it that you never come after Trey for baby #4. After all those years with Maeve and agreeing to live a fun filled child free life. Trey never had children with Maeve, his wife and the love of his life, so why would he want one with you? I want you to wipe any thoughts of child rearing with Trey Sanders out of your mind. Trey Sanders doesn’t want to have a single sexual encounter with you, much less a baby, so be forewarned!

Just say it

 Federica: Oh, just say it. Say my real name and not my alias! This is Federica! You are so ridiculous, Danielle! Let me just say that the source of your problems is definitely not a generational curse. You have caused enough trouble in your own lifetime to bring this hex upon yourself! I don’t want to say that there is no such thing as a generational curse, as you may have just invented one for your family. We are the ones who can put that into place for you and your bloodline. You can call this a family feud of epic proportions. When you mess with one of us, this is what you get. You messed with the wrong marriage and with the wrong family! Now you are going down with the help of a little black magic. Let’s see who will pass through to the afterlife next. Will it be you, your father, your brother, or the father of your children? We are much younger than you and will likely outlive you and many in your inner circle, so be forewarned! You might as well focus on your family and your beloved cats, while you still have time. A happy ending with Trey Sanders is not in the cards, my Tarot cards, that is. I see what is coming in your future and it is definitely not splitting up two families to ride into the sunset with Trey Sanders. He is too smart for that mess, when he has a better catch of a wife and an all-around perfect life anyway. Clear your mind’s thoughts of Trey, for that will get you into trouble! Be forewarned!

I got this email today

I guess I never unsubscribed from this person’s email list but everything she sends me about herself just drives me up the wall. She is the most high profile schizophrenic out there. Sounds like a blessing and a curse at the same time. I prefer to remain incognito personally. Apparently there is going to be a comedy showcase in New York featuring some East Coast mental health advocates. I am probably funnier than all of them so I hope they are not reading this and stealing my jokes. No one would ever think to invite me because I am over here on the Best Coast. I visited New York once during my big psychotic episode in 2014. The only reason why I ever went to New York was because I was unmedicated and thought it seemed like a great idea at the time. Once I got there, I saw that it was a very grimy gritty city. I have no intention of ever going back there, so have fun at your little comedy show. I have three children and a life so I am very busy over here in San Diego anyway.

I know you are thinking that I should be supportive of this woman’s success and stand by her but no one ever includes me in any mental health showcases. I have a story and a lot that I could contribute. I really feel the stigma as no one publicly follows my blog. There is no love there. I guess the stigma of mental illness is too great to follow me. I am just bitter. I have asked myself this question many times, “Would you really want to be the public’s face of schizophrenia?”  Not really.

My brain is tortured by riddles!

My brain is filled with riddles that I can’t figure out! I try to understand my mental situation but I am constantly confused. The voices tell me that they are hexing me, so I am on an endless mission to stop these people from harassing me. How can I stop them for good? I remember going to the Carlsbad Police Department to report people for tormenting me telepathically and an officer asked me if I was diagnosed with a mental illness. When I said yes, he told me to take my psychiatric medication and he sent me home. That day could have ended worse. I was still a free woman and not under a psychiatric hold. Now I consider it a good day, when I don’t end up in the back of a police car, handcuffed, being driven to a mental hospital. My psychiatrist always confirms to me that this is indeed a case of psychosis. My medication doesn’t completely resolve this. I am taking my medication regularly. Yet I am still left with the same riddle I had when I started my blog here: Why am I hearing voices in my head? How is this possible? And what did I do to deserve this? I must have bad karma or it is a generational curse, as spiritual advisors imply.

Maeve: So you have been stalking me on social media again? Yes, I love Trey’s sister. She is my sister and she loves me back, so you can just eat your heart out! She and Trey are magic, the ultimate spellcasters! I am spellbound! They have a hold of me and we are not letting go of each other ever. You are sitting miles away, completely on the outside of our world, looking in. Look away and mind your own business, if you are feeling jealous. You cannot change our love for each other! We are a tight knit family unit and our bond is unbreakable!  Also, we are not letting you go anywhere with Trey Sanders! This is a group effort and you are outnumbered completely. So give up your pursuit of my husband. I can be very nasty when I am angry and I can dish out the insults too. Take one step closer and that’s just what I will do. You are a joke already, but I am about to give you the most public humiliation that I can give. You are nothing more than a gold digging home-wrecker anyway, so guess who everyone will side with? Me! That’s right! I am smarter than you and I know just how to proceed, so be forewarned!

My questionable fashion choices

I have been criticized for the majority of my youth, young adulthood and perhaps my adulthood for making questionable fashion choices. I swear to you that during the 1980’s this was not one of those questionable fashion choices. A Big Mac hat? Wearing that hat requires publicly advertising that you actually eat at McDonald’s. No thank you.

Are you talking to me?

 https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRWEVRcG/

😳 Is the woman in this TikTok speaking directly to me? Yikes! I needed to hear this!

Venting: I know delusional when I see it

 What are the odds that a schizoaffective sister would be the most in touch with reality of all her siblings? I have three siblings and at least one of them expressed to me apprehension that one of their aspiring writer siblings would write an autobiography slandering them. I don’t think any of my siblings read/care enough to read my blog and see how I am doing. I could pepper my blog with stories about them because I have a lot to say.. All three of them get on my nerves at times. No one in my family believes or wants to believe that my diagnosis of mental illness is genetic. They believe it is simply a case of me smoking too much weed starting in junior high and experimenting with drugs that they would never try. So now that I am fully medicated and under the care of a psychiatrist who I see regularly, I wonder why I am the sanest of my siblings? Their stories and the things that they believe, drift off into fantasy all the time. I know delusional when I see it. My family and I were raised Catholic and have some spiritual beliefs that many consider highly suspicious and that we cannot prove. So it is partly that. I want to call myself Catholic, like my family does, but I am trying not to say weird things that many people don’t believe. I don’t want to be called a liar or a loony, although I am diagnosed schizoaffective. My medication keeps me calm and grounded. Unfortunately my family is out of their minds. I have a really hard time talking to them. They are always agitated too. I think my siblings need to step up their medication hardcore to what I am taking. One of my sisters is unstable and highly religious which combines into comical kooky stories. Recently she told me that she is positive that the bird that she keeps seeing in her backyard is one of our dead relatives visiting her. Really? The bird is not simply using your bird feeder? Why do all of my siblings get visits from dead relatives? I never receive visits from my mother who passed on. I also don’t credit everything good that happens to praying to my deceased mother. I can’t credit or blame anyone for the way my life turned out really. It is what it is. I am just trying to make the best out of my life. I was very close with my mother, while she was alive. I still love her. I miss her. I thank her and my Dad for giving me life. When I look at pictures I try to remember her and reminisce about the good times. But I am realistic. I just don’t feel mother’s presence anymore. I hoped that I would feel her, but I don’t. She is gone. I try to make myself feel better by thinking logically. If the bird  in my sisters backyard is really my dead brother-in-law, why would he visit her and not my other sister who was his wife or his son? She wishes that he would visit her but no, I don’t believe it. It’s impossible! Unfortunately because of the stigma associated with mental illness and all the sucky side effects of psychiatric medication,  no one in my immediate family is taking the medication that they need and they never will! I just have to deal with their imbalances if I want to keep in contact with them. 

Trying to lose weight naturally

I changed my antipsychotic and I do feel a little less hungry, which should help me eventually. I am not going to take Wegovy or Ozempic. I don’t want to take diabetes medication away from diabetics who really need it. I also don’t want to start a weight loss medication that I will be stuck on for the rest of my life. I don’t want to gain the weight back after dealing with those shots and all the side effects I dealt with to lose the weight! Diabetes injections like Wegovy increase your risk of thyroid cancer anyway. I want to lose weight the old fashioned way, which will take forever but that’s ok. 

Matteo: So you are trying to lose weight and researching how to do that? Well it isn’t brain surgery but even if you found the recipe for success, it would not be possible for you. We are hexing you to remain fat forever! Ketosis? What about ketosis? The only thing you need to know about ketosis is that you’re not in it! You are never in ketosis because you are constantly eating. Take a break from eating ok? You have to stop feeding your face! Drink water to mask your hunger!  It’s that simple. You are too stupid to figure out the Keto diet and be successful at it, so be forewarned!

What is it about blonde hair?

Why do you always look his way 

You catch a glimpse of blonde hair 

And you sit there mesmerized 

Remember to keep your eyes on the road 

And keep your mind busy with other thoughts 

It’s not really him anyway 

He is just a random blonde stranger 

Who caught your gaze

Quit staring at beautiful blonde passersby

Hoping that it’s him

For he moved past you 

A long time ago

Maeve: Quit milking the flowery, lovey dovey compliments about my husband. He is just a man, a very married man. I know that you have ulterior motives and you can’t be trusted. For you it’s not even sexual, it’s monetary. You are a gold digger! You are probably a lesbian anyway. You want to marry my husband and live happily ever after? Well it’s never gonna happen so save your crappy poetry for someone else! Be forewarned!

Matteo: Danielle looves blonde hair! She wants what she can’t have and what she will never be. She will never be a beautiful blonde or the bride of a beautiful blonde. Be forewarned! You aren’t blonde enough or beautiful enough for Trey Sanders. Maeve is all of that and then some, so leave her and Trey alone and just eat your heart out! Be forewarned!

Someone walked up the path to my doorstep last night

Some guy walked up the pathway of my house all the way to my doorstep last night at 9:30 pm. He didn’t trip the motion detection floodlight on the pathway. I heard some rustling outside, saw a silhouette through the slats of my blinds and also saw that his phone light was on. I got up and said out loud “What is that? What is going on?” I was in the front bedroom right by the front door. Unfortunately I do not think it was my secret admirer. It seems more like a porch pirate, or a potential burglar casing our house. Wow! Why us? He took one look in our kitchen window and left. We are literally sloppy pack rats. No one wants to steal Stephen’s Star Wars action figures or my wardrobe a la Amazon,. Our most valuable items are our children and our cats, which triggers a bigger fear in me. What if this guy is a child trafficker? We need to get a doorbell camera and protect the premises quick! Here is some information below that the prowler probably knew, about how to not trip someone’s home floodlights. Scary!

https://www.csoonline.com/article/2133815/researchers-show-ways-to-bypass-home-and-office-security-systems.html

My plans for tonight

 

How did I know?

 How did I know that I would be on this list?

I hope you find a Sagittarius really soon!

 My most compatible sign (according to this astrologer) is Leo! 💗 

Maeve: Ha ha ha! That’s laughable! You are going nowhere with my man! Anyway your delusional mind is making up my whole involvement in this. You are trying to drag my name through the mud! I am sweet and I would never be involved in a love triangle. FYI Trying to steal someone else’s husband and fighting over a man is so tacky! Like Shakira just said, “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t support other women.”  You are one hellish woman! I am innocent of taking part in your trashy troubles! I am a Saint. You are a sinner! I wish you a long bumpy ride down to hell!  But for the time being stay away from my man and keep our names out your f’ing mouth! Be forewarned!

Caplyta, my new antipsychotic

So I am trying a new antipsychotic tonight called Caplyta. The Caplyta commercial claims that weight gain on Caplyta is unlikely. I feel that Vraylar was a weight gainer for me, so we will see how this new medication helps or hurts me. I just took it 20 minutes ago and I think that my throat is feeling dry now.

Maeve: So you are trying your new antipsychotic tonight? Big deal. You will hear voices in your head regardless, as we are still hexing you! Your hopes of losing weight with a different antipsychotic will be a fruitless effort, as your diet is fruitless! Diet is everything to losing weight. As they say, losing weight is 80% diet, 20% exercise. Just look at me! I am 100% committed to both my diet and exercising hardcore…and it shows! Have you ever heard the expression “abs are made in the kitchen?” Try controlling what you eat! Don’t spend so much time in the kitchen! If I don’t say so myself, you could learn a lot from me! A lot! Watch and learn! Eat my dust and eat your heart out, as you are not a threat to me! My man’s eyes are solely focused on me, as you keep stuffing your face and getting fatter! There is no hope for you and your attempt at losing weight with your new antipsychotic! Be forewarned!

 Valentina: That’s right! The weight is just going to fall off of you now! No effort required! You have got it all figured out! Right! You will continue to be fat because we are hexing you to be fat! Be forewarned! Because we are toxic, right? And we hate our jealous haters, so we are watching you and we are hexing you! Be forewarned!

Matteo: Stupid bitch! Don’t insult my sister by calling her toxic! We are not toxic and we are not the one with the problem!  If you had minded your own business and stayed out of Maeve’s marriage we wouldn’t have started giving you the evil eye in the first place! You are trying to grab the gaze of Maeve’s husband?! As if you compare to Maeve’s beauty?! We would never have bothered to hex a washed up old hag like you, if not for that! You started this and it takes two to tango, so be forewarned!

Bonnaroo? I’m so excited! Not!!

Bonnaroo? I will not be going or envying anyone who does go. I don’t think that I have missed anything by not traveling to Tennessee to go to a Lollapalooza knock off festival. When I was in young I went to the music festival that Bonnaroo is knocking off, Lollapalooza twice in Los Angeles and watched great bands like Rage Against The Machine and The Beastie Boys. I also went to a Grateful Dead show in Las Vegas when Jerry Garcia was still alive so there! Eat your heart out!!

Plans for Monday

 Valentina: So you are obsessed with my friends husband? You need to figure out why you are obsessed with him! What does Trey symbolize to you? Is he a status symbol to be flaunted? Is he arm candy? Does he represent wealth, intelligence, success? You barely know him. You never did. Correct? So it is nothing personal. You don’t know him well enough to infer anything about his personality, inner mind, or compatibility with you? You should sort this out with your psychiatrist tomorrow. Tell her that you are obsessing over the guy from college again. Maybe she will up your medication dosage. That would be great. Subdue her! Maybe a lobotomy would help! That is wishful thinking on our part. We are hexing you so be forewarned, anything is possible!

No one ever listens to the town drunk!

 

You’re not a hippie

 You’re not a hippie unless you wear this natural deodorant.

She has a good point

 

Heart to heart

 Trey: Let me tell you something. So you’re correct that I am not leaving my wife. When you chose Stephen over me in 2004, it rocked my world. I vowed to keep coming down to Carlsbad not only to catch a glimpse of you, but more importantly I wanted you to see me. I wanted to let you know that you will be a part of my life in a small role perhaps. But you will have a role nonetheless. I was addicted to you. I was shy but addicted to you. I am still addicted to you, in a way. That is why I make so many trips down from Santa Cruz to Carlsbad. I revel in driving you crazy and keeping you guessing as I would, if we had actually married. I am sorry not sorry that you eventually realized what you missed out on and for turning your world upside down. However I will never stop driving by/stalking you. Be forewarned.

The perfect peanut butter for me

The name of this peanut butter called to me for some reason. I bought it at Sprouts. It doesn’t taste all that good but it’s healthier than regular peanut butter.

What happened in Mexico?

You look like you are having a little too much fun

There in Mexico

Your pupils actually look dilated in your wife’s profile picture 

Both of you look like you are having too much fun 

And are possibly a little high

What happens in Mexico 

Stays in Mexico, I guess 

It should have been me 

With you in Mexico 

On the beach 

Frolicking together 

And watching the sunset 

How romantic 

But it really wasn’t me there with you 

Crying tears of jealous angst

(Meant to be set to blues music)

Maeve: Love is the drug that is doing that to us. That is the look of love and complete sexual satisfaction. But you wouldn’t know anything about either of those things. We made love with complete sexual abandon on that vacation. I don’t think either of us have completely recovered from that trip, so you can just eat your heart out! Be forewarned!

Matteo: That look in his eye is the look of love…and impending sexual release. He knew it was coming, as they already had sex multiple times that day. He was truly on fire that vacation! I wasn’t there and I am just messing with you but you can just eat your heart out! You have no chance with this man. Maeve has Trey locked in for life! Trey Sanders is not interested in a romantic or a sexual relationship with you, so be forewarned!

Valentina: You are so up their asses and interested in their sex life. It’s disgusting! Be forewarned!

My next work of fiction, as per Maeve

 Maeve: Ok, so what are we writing next? A potential sex scene for the movie of your life? Yeah, just map it out, in advance. Just write a little play-by-play. It is all fantasy and will never come to pass, so why not? "He lifts his petite mistress up and throws her down on the bed." Yeah right? Petite? Well maybe not petite. Never mind writing a fantasy sex scene. (She laughs) This might be a fantastic real life scenario for Trey and I. Don't give us any ideas...as if we need any help. Have fun sitting at home lamenting over your life's poor decisions today. Trey and I will be actively pursuing our passions together and having fun all the while. Be forewarned!

Valentina: She wants him so badly. That is the allure for him. She keeps writing these flirtatious, disgusting stories about him. He knows that she is writing about him. It flatters him, so he can’t keep himself from reading it. This is causing problems with temptation in his marriage and it is all her fault! That is why we are hexing you and we will continue to do so. Karma is a bitch, so be forewarned!

Matteo: Oh my God! This sexual scenario that you have concocted is merely wishful thinking, on your part! You will never have sex with Trey Sanders, in real life, as he is married. He happens to be married to a family member of mine, dearest, sweet Maeve. Conjuring up sleazy sexual encounters does you no good. It will never become your reality and it is disrespectful to his ever-loving wife. My family all  hates you and we will continue to hex you. We will do everything in our power to keep you away from Trey Sanders.  You should trash this post, as soon as possible, before anyone reads it…or else suffer the consequences. Be forewarned!

Maeve: Yes if I am so sweet…if I am so perfect, why is he looking at you? I have done nothing wrong. I have done everything to make my husband’s life perfect through and through. What have you done to add to his life but get fat, walk around in circles, and make stupid jokes? It makes no sense whatsoever. I am determined to figure out the method to your madness and reverse this situation ASAP! Be forewarned!

Sweet song

 

I dodged a bullet here.

 Well I know one crazy Tony!

Zooming in on a screenshot of your legs

 I saw a picture of you 

With your rarely seen 

Sexxxy bare legs 

How exciting 

And mesmerizing 

It looks like you got a tattoo 

On your right calf

What could that tattoo be?

I have insatiable curiosity 

And jealousy 

Surprise surprise 

Someone got a tattoo 

Seems like I never knew you 

The edgiest coolest doctor 

Having fun

In the sun

Wishing you well, baller!

Wishing that I was your partner 

In more ways than Pickleball 

Cat selfies are taking the world by storm

 Quit taking selfies with your darn cat, world!

A prediction from Maeve

Maeve: Knowing my husband, so well. I suspect that he is having a midlife crisis and pining for the college coed (before me,) whom he had a burning desire for, lost touch with, but whom he never forgot. You and he were never really an item and admittedly not even friends. I foresee that after a potential meeting and sexual rendezvous that you will then get into a wicked, passionate fight bringing your affair to an end. Then Trey will ultimately come to his senses and come running back to me in Santa Cruz. As angry and hurt as I would be for him stupidly straying, I would welcome him back with open arms. I would then attempt to cure him of his wandering eye with some special tea. You are May Pang in this romantic scenario, the temptress and relationship ruiner. I am the steadfast, loving wife of a rock star. As the story told by May Pang goes, John Lennon and May began an affair. Jilted Yoko sought to lure John back to her. So Yoko gave John a tiring tea concoction, hypnotized him, and never let him out of her sight again! He reportedly never strayed again until his untimely death.  Sounds like a jolly good plan. Until death do us part! Be forewarned!

Maeve: I have a message for Trey Sanders if he happens to read this blog: “Van life” is over for you, if you leave me. Be forewarned! Our cute and romantic travels in a camper trailer will end as soon as you end your marriage for this…over the hill homebody that is so unadventurous and unlike me it’s disgusting. She would never dare take off with you up the coast to sleep in a trailer or a tent. Be forewarned. Her kids couldn’t hack it. She couldn’t even hack it. You can seal the coffin on your prior adventurous life of leisure, travel, and frequent, uninterrupted sex! You wouldn’t want to surrender that! Think deeply about the door which you would be closing. If you leave me for her, your awesome life in Santa Cruz will come to a bitter end…and you will end up in financial ruin! Be forewarned!

Namaste on Valentines Day

I am contemplating Valentine’s Day here. Praying and wishing you peace on Valentine’s Day!

Matteo: Valentine’s Day is not about stealing someone else’s man! Get it straight! Side chick day is February 13th! You missed it! Be forewarned!

Be very afraid!

 The Phillies are evil. Who swept Mahomes ankle? Yikes.

Maeve: Ah well. If my team, The Philadelphia Eagles, do lose, I still have my man, Dr Trey Sanders. My sweet hubs will ultimately return the favor that I granted him, when his father passed away. He will sweetly and sexually console me tonight and every night, so be forewarned. I may have lost the battle but I will win the war. I have won and will continue to retain the love of my forever love, Trey, so you can just eat your heart out. Have a crappy Valentines Day too. Don’t wonder too hard how we will spend our Valentine’s Day and night. It will be epic as usual! Be forewarned!

Someone who could care less

 About the Super Bowl 

Prayer pose

 I was going to make a joke about meditation and manifesting a win for the Kansas City Chiefs but now I am feeling so relaxed that I’m not even thinking about the Super Bowl. I guess that I should stick to what I know. I grew up praying and I should probably pray/meditate more.

Maeve: Let me refresh your memory. You were going to say something to the effect of doing yoga and eating healthy today vs. going to a Super Bowl party and eating chips all day. No, you are not a competitive person at all! Let me remind you that you are the fat one here. I am 10 steps ahead of you, as always, and I will burn these calories off tomorrow anyway, so be forewarned!