Cheers! Happy New Year!

 Maeve: I don’t see the point of constantly posting pictures with your adult beverages. Congratulations, you are an alcoholic! There is a lot weird about these pictures. I don’t know where to begin. You wish the individual sitting next to you was Trey Sanders but it is not. You did not spend New Years Eve with my husband and you never will! Let that sink in! You will be spending your New Years at home with your cats for eternity. Be forewarned. Trey and I had a wonderful time last night. The details of our evening will remain a mystery to you but…you can imagine. Right? Love making until the break of dawn. The usual. Eat your heart out. 

Finally…

 After 5 fortune cookies

Cats In Space!

 

 

Idle hands are the devils playground

 As I browse Maeve’s Pinterest page…

Val: There is nothing new on her Pinterest page, huh? Has it ever crossed your mind that Maeve may be posting new pins privately from you, the random public peeper? She could have a new maternity page up by now or perhaps, a Santeria/Voodoo Pinterest page, like me. You never know! Pinterest is a great place to store your romantic rival revenge hexes. Keep in mind that we have the curiosity and the background to do such a thing, if you don’t mind your own business. Be forewarned.

Maeve: You bitch! Quit stalking my Pinterest page! You could never be me or replicate my style and essence. You pale by comparison, so give up now! We might consider silencing the voices if you quit spying on us and quit your pursuit of Trey Sanders. FYI I hear that you are thinking of flying your daughters up to San Francisco on vacation this summer. What is the point of that? Trey will not be there! San Francisco is nowhere close to Santa Cruz, so you are wasting your time. I hope you trip over a homeless person and fall onto a used hypodermic needle while there. Also, you should be traveling today instead! With all the flight cancellations, should be a jolly old time.

Why did I look at her Pinterest page? It triggered my voices. I just can’t help myself, I guess.

Val: Stupid bitch! You have no idea what you are doing for us! You are promoting our brand. I should teach a course about hexing your romantic rivals on TikTok! It could go viral and turn me into a millionaire entrepreneur. Just kidding bitch! I already am a wealthy  entrepreneur, in case you haven’t noticed. And what do you do for a living, slouch? Lay on your couch, slander us, and collect disability & spousal support! Stupid bitch! We hate you, so we are hexing you! Be forewarned!

Enjoying the wildflowers

 

Christmas Eve 2022

 The sun is out. The flowers are blooming. It’s a California Christmas! 

Taking the plunge

So another day,

Another wedding.

Another couple is about to

Take the plunge 

My advice to you is…

Don’t look back.

Don’t jump in blind either.

You should know up front 

That if you weren’t all that attracted to your partner from the get-go,

It sure as hell won’t get easier over time

To muster the strength 

To please and satisfy your partner.

That will increasingly be a feat 

Throughout the years.

Don’t be surprised,

When the initial excitement of the wedding dies down, 

And someone-many individuals, more likely

Will walk by and make you turn your head so hard and fast,

You may take a misstep, 

Hit a wall,

And need a moment

 Or repeated moments 

To refocus on your “in real life partner.”

All I can say to you is good luck 

Because marriage is in no way 

An easy journey 

Especially with the addition of children.

Good luck! 🍀 

I wish I wrote this.

…And then a voice spoke in my head 

And she said 

“Dark is not the opposite of light 

It’s the absence of light “

And I thought to myself 

She knows what she’s talking about 

And for a moment I knew what it was all about -Adam Yauch

I think he was speaking about the ideal situation of racial harmony here. That is what I take from this song. Personally my voices are pretty heinous, with not much positive to contribute to my consciousness. I wish my voices had a beautiful message, like in this song. I wish that I could find something positive in my voices and I could appreciate the voices that I hear in my head.

For all the wrong reasons

 Matt: You keep telling people about your doctor “soulmate.” Cough cough! You are in it for all the wrong reasons and focusing on all the wrong things. No wonder you will never steal him. You are a money-hungry loser. You don’t deserve him. Maeve on the other hand, her heart is pure. She met him while they were both still in school. She didn’t know what the future held but she trusted Trey and in the journey they started together. She left all her friends and family behind and moved clear across the country to be with him. Would you have done that? You would have moved to Santa Cruz begrudgingly but never to the East Coast or BFE, as you put it. Maeve was the better choice by far. Better. Braver. Smarter. Sweeter. Beautiful! The clear winner. Keep eating your heart and wondering what they shared/exchanged for Christmas. You will probably find out through snooping anyway. Mind your business or else! Be forewarned!

Christmas presence

Maeve: She tells people that she’s not getting anything for Christmas? (That’s wrapped!) Boo hoo! We all know that Stephen gives her carte blanche with respect to his money, and yet she milks the sympathy angle left and right! She buys whatever she wants regardless. It’s an aesthetic that she puts on to make herself look more attractive, the “single” aesthetic. She likes to appear single and ready to mingle, so she tells people that she is in an unhappy relationship and getting zip for Christmas. We shall see about that! One thing is for certain, you will be getting nothing from my husband,  Dr. Trey Sanders. He will not be “present” at your Christmas holiday celebration and he won’t be thinking about you either. Focus on your own holiday and your own miserable life! Be forewarned!

I am assured that I will never get any closer to Dr Trey Sanders in this lifetime.

Maeve: You are reading an article about Tom Brady’s new love interest whose body is “too dangerous for the internet”, like one very taken man, that you know well. Dr. Trey Sanders also has a body to die for. He is all around blessed in the looks department. Unfortunately for you, he is mine all mine. Yes, the curse of having a beautiful partner is the incredible number of little buggers attracted to that bright light.  You will never get close enough to feel the warmth that radiates from him. You lose, so be forewarned!

Matt: Don’t hate on Trey (or Maeve’s) perfect body either. Trey inherited it and Maeve works hard for it. You need to step up your game big time in order to compete with Maeve! Don’t obsess over what you will never have though. Be forewarned!

I am sorry if this post is offensive. Maybe I really don’t deserve Trey. Men shouldn’t be objectified either.

https://thesportsrush.com/nfl-news-tom-bradys-rumored-girlfriend-veronika-rajek-once-claimed-that-her-body-is-too-hot-dangerous-for-social-media/?amp

My restaurant review of Capn Kenos in Leucadia

 I would like to thank my brother for cutting me out of the second picture completely. Great shot! I thoroughly enjoyed my rum and Diet Coke which hit the spot. I ordered a hamburger which came with a garden salad. I thought the service was prompt. My father never got the meatloaf that he tried to order. I guess there was some confusion with his order. I think we are leaning towards going back again sometime though . I can’t believe that I have lived in N County San Diego since 1999 and this is my first time eating at Capn Kenos. I had fun and can cross it off my local restaurant bucket list.

 

Taunting me through poems

Trey and Maeve have a weird relationship. Why is she always painting his nails blue? I wonder. She must want to remind him that they are married a she can paint his nails blue, in exchange for something else. I wonder what his bargaining chip is for letting her paint his nails blue? Hmm...

Maeve. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Trey married me. Not you! (Hee Hee) See, I can write a cheesy poem too!

Matt: You are putting their marriage on blast. Everyone knows that the nail polish is being used as a sexual bargaining chip. Be forewarned. Trey could care less about blue nails. More importantly, he is getting his sexual needs met. Sounds fun, huh? Good for him. You are incapable of meeting his needs anyway, so you can just eat your heart out!

Matt: Stephen brought you Chipotle for lunch. Bon appetit! So how are you going to repay him? Good luck with that. You are a cheap date, so be forewarned!

Astrologers never say this but…

 Leo men can be cocky and downright mean. That has been my experience with them. Driving past me with other women in the car. Tailgating me. Never coming over to say hi. Marrying younger women. Leo men suck. They torment me. I bet they do like stylish women and material possessions, like cool clothes. It sure seems that way. One thing I have noticed about Maeve though, she’s not sexy. She doesn’t even try to look or dress sexy for Trey. He must be so disappointed. Well eat your heart out Trey!  I would probably be better at that but I guess you will never know!

Decisions decisions

 Maeve: Ok witch! Here’s the deal. You can either wait for my untimely death, to pursue a relationship with my husband. That way everything would be somewhat cool. Or you can continue on your warpath to steal my husband outright. If you choose the latter, everyone in Santa Cruz will hate you, and you will be welcomed nowhere. Dr Trey Sanders and his new bride will have to basically go into hiding and Trey is no hermit. The latter does not suit your social butterfly “soulmate” Cough cough! So think about your options some more. Be forewarned.

Maeve: Things are not going so well for your “real life”husband at his doctors appointment. I hate you, so be forewarned, I could care less what happens to you or to him, but it doesn’t look good. Be forewarned!

Val: So, President Biden signed the Respect For Marriage Act today, which you have none, especially respect for the marriage of Trey and Maeve Sanders. If anyone should not be married, it’s you! Trey and Maeve, however, embody marital bliss. Their love rocks and everybody knows it. Good luck trying to find a love like theirs. Take it from me. It’s not going to happen, in your lifetime. Be forewarned.

Don’t say that she’s pretty!

 And did you say that she loved you? Baby I don’t want to know! Time cast a spell on you that you won’t forget me! I know I could have loved you but you would not let me.

I am so far away from this couple that I am obsessing over but sometimes it feels like they are right here haunting me. They may have a vow renewal looming. It’s always a good time for a vow renewal when you are still in love and having fun. They don’t have any children to tire them out or keep them busy. It’s just fun fun fun in the sun and by the moonlight all day every day. Why don’t you take another glamorous vacation? They are still in the honeymoon stage over 10 years after getting hitched. Annoying!

Maeve: You ignorant bitch! My husband, the doctor, advised us to postpone the vow renewal ceremony because we are in the midst of a tripledemic. Gathering now is ill advised. However, rest assured, that the vow renewal will eventually take place, as we love each other deeply, and we want to celebrate our love with our family and friends! I can’t believe that your jealousy is preventing you from seeing the good in that. You are the selfish one, casting spells on us, for exuding joy. Get over it because my husband loves me deeply and is going nowhere That’s the purpose of our ceremony, to promise that we will continue loving each other until death do us part. It will happen, so eat your heart out! Be forewarned!

That’s so last century!

Did you close the door on me

In the last century? 

Or are you, like me

Still pining for my college crush.

Seeing him in passing cars

And cloud formations

So many years after graduation.

#Dammit I just wrote another poem about him!

Maeve: You are so last century! Your connection to my husband is truly ancient history! I hate your poem! I  hate your new tee shirt too. I must tell you that a person who is a free spirit doesn’t wear a mass produced tee shirt that reads “Free Spirit” across it. I should know because I am truly a bohemian free spirit. I am a proud hippie in my heart and soul. You are not, however. You don’t know what you are. A free spirit is an individual’s Je ne sais quoi! It is the vibe you give off. Your essence. You, my nemesis, are not a free spirit but a poser in a cheesy statement teeshirt! You are fooling no one! Free spirit? Pshh! More like clueless homebody. Give it up! You are not worthy of Trey Sanders and your efforts to attract him will always be fruitless. Be forewarned!

An interesting poem to share

 I just found out that my daughter’s friends dad is a poetry-writing Swami. I didn’t write this poem but parts of the poem spoke to me, so I am sharing. Here is a screenshot of part of his poem.

Remember that time?

 You recorded and edited a cool video of your good friends wedding in Santa Cruz? You are always doing things like that for your friends and giving them gifts. You are a total sweetheart! I missed out on the best friend I could  have ever had!

Maeve: Quit stalking our friends Instagram pages and spying on us! What do you hope to get out of your efforts? Your little detective work is doing absolutely nothing for you, as Trey and I are set to renew our vows soon, very soon actually. My husband is going nowhere with you ever, so be forewarned!

Matt: You didn’t take your marital vows very seriously from the get go. That’s your own fault. Trey obviously has always taken his marriage seriously . He did not jump into marriage. He fell in love with a wonderful woman, who was the perfect match for him. He evaluated their relationship very carefully and accurately. Too bad you ended up with some flake, who you deem unworthy of you. Again that’s your fault and you cannot just steal away someone else’s husband, especially Trey, because you realize that Trey is a much better husband than Stephen. Let me try to get through to you on another level. Do not covet your neighbors husband is a commandment. Go back and read your Bible., then attempt to live by it . Or else rot in hell, correct? Maybe your silly religion can lead you in another direction…because you are lost. Be forewarned.

So I guess you made the right choice

 Everything is already set up. You have been married for 10+ years now without any children.  You always make time for sex/fun. I probably wouldn’t have put out on the daily anyway. It depends. So, now she wants a super stylish wedding vow renewal. Looks like there will never be time for us. Don’t worry about me. I will be fine. Enjoy your vow renewal. Here’s to 10 more years to eternity. I will probably find a new hot mate within that time span. Be forewarned.

Trey: Well if you don’t even want to get together, why am I going to so much trouble just to get a glimpse of you? You know just never mind. I will stay put in Santa Cruz with my beautiful wife.

I am feeling California…

 I am feeling California but looking New Jersey or Staten Island, I guess. I was born and raised in California and I love it here. I would never want to move out of state. I always get from tourists and the non-Californians that I meet, how un-California I look. My curly dark hair and my dark Italian features screw me up every time. I have lived in Carlsbad since 1999 and I am constantly reminded by people that I despise how weird I am, for living so close to the beach and rarely getting my toes in the sand or going in the ocean. “Locals” and assorted surfers are the reason I avoid heading further west than my fathers house. You all are shitty people down there but San Diego is actually very diverse so I prefer to hang with the majority of non-surfers, who are wonderful and “my people.”  You can keep your beach, but I am definitely not leaving Carlsbad because (to the ignorant who never noticed) I have lived here since 1999 (before many of you were born.) I am a local now and not going anywhere. So there!

*I guess this is a frivolous post compared to what messages Kanye West has been putting out into the world.  I stand with my Jewish friends and the Jewish people.

My only friend for many many years

 Val: So Stephen has a sore throat and is convinced that he has leukemia. What does his supportive wife think? That he is a big baby? What is your real concern here? He hates you, for refusing him sexual intercourse and for looking around so much at other men. If he dies, you can be assured that he will leave you nothing, so be forewarned! You are not married to him, he has no will, and he is in debt, so you are screwed. Be forewarned!

Matt: Maybe you should turn the lights off and go through with it already. If you turn up the heat, he may reconsider and leave you whatever he has. Being the conniving bitch that I know you are, I am sure you can secure that money. Make sure you start massaging him before it is too late and he is an invalid, unable to sign your checks. That day will definitely come, so be forewarned! And don’t start screwing around, before he passes away, because he will get that message from somewhere. Remember the old Eagles song, “You can’t hide your lying eyes and your smile is a thin disguise.” Stephen is a smart man. He knows what is going on with you and that is why you will get nothing from him, in the end. Be forewarned!

For the longest time, Stephen was my only friend. He suffers from anxiety and thinks that he has leukemia now. It’s a scary and unnerving time.

I was going to guess…absolutely nothing!

 Based on the past few Christmases, my expectations for getting any Christmas presents are low. Christmas is more for children, so I usually get zip from my family. I get nothing from my parenting partner. Maybe I will exchange gifts with my girl friends?

Posing with my cat Millie

Women posing with their cats should be the new Democratic rallying cry. It’s the Democrats let’s go Brandon. I am hexing Donald Trump to fail in all of his efforts and to lose by a landslide to Joe Biden. I see you Donald Trump/Republican party and you are going down! I see you Fox News making fun of innocent cats and cat ladies.  Your can kiss my cats butt!

Is this Santa Cruz?

 I have honestly never stepped foot in Santa Cruz but I don’t imagine that it is remotely like in this video. I do love 80’s metal but snakes and guns in the boiling desert sun doesn’t seem quite right. Maybe it’s Santa Cruz on acid? Seriously, I still want to wander up to Santa Cruz. One day I will! Steamer Lane, here I come! Welcome to a wonderful dream!

 That moment in the hospital when something gets wheeled past you and you are positive that it is a dead body.

Catwoman and her fur baby

 Me and my six month old kitten who fell asleep in my arms. Never mind my hair sticking straight up in this picture. This moment takes me back to when my children were sleeping angels in my arms . The only difference is cats are so chill and easy (most of the time.) Best of all…there was no potty training involved. My kittens came to me potty trained and no accidents, unlike human babies. lol 

Cute cloud formation

 I even see him in cloud formations! My Doogie Howser MD lookalike friend from college grew up to be so cool and cute! I remember that curly blonde wild hair!

Maeve rubbing in her Thanksgiving afterglow

Maeve: It’s 2 pm on the Saturday after Thanksgiving and we are just back from our post-lovemaking sail. Hell, we may have made love on the boat too. That is for us to know. Whatever happens on The Catalina stays on The Catalina. And you are such a snoop for researching and blasting out our brand of boat. So, it’s 2 pm and you are making yourself a drink. It’s a beautiful day. You should be exercising, like me. Don’t knock yourself out and CrossFit but get off your couch, at least. I would hate for you to break a sweat and see any results or anything. Be forewarned!

Val:  You are implying here that sex is the glue holding their marriage together? You may have honed in one iota of truth there. It is so much more than that though. They adore each other. They respect each other. They have been in a fun and loving relationship for years with many shared experiences, shared friends, and good times. They took that leap of faith many years ago to spend the rest of their lives together. What part of commitment to marital vows and respect for marriage are you not getting? Trey is not getting out of his marriage and he is going nowhere with you! Be forewarned.

Thanksgiving Day card from my son. ❤️

 

My Thanksgiving was nice!

 We just got our Christmas tree!

Comparison is the thief of joy.

So, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. What are your plans for Thanksgiving? The usual thing for me to do is gather around the table with my family and try our best to keep it light and get along. Best of luck to you in all that! Thinking of you! As Pink Floyd said, “Wish you were here”

Maeve: In a far corner of your mind, you are wondering what our plans are for Thanksgiving! We might make love, go surfing, make love again, go for a sail, all before an epic feast/party amongst our closest family and friends. You are not invited. Don’t compare your lousy Thanksgiving to ours, for you are sure to be disappointed. Be forewarned!

Maeve: My husband, Dr. Trey Sanders, wants you to know, that his decision to pose for and post a million romantic photos of he and I on Facebook was 100% malicious and intentional. He desired for you to eat your heart out from jealousy! Be forewarned! Our marriage is none of your business but if you want to keep torturing yourself by peeping our online pictures, that is entirely up to you. Enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday, without my husband! Be forewarned!

Everyone else seems to be noticing my belly

 I think I look ok. I don’t have too much body negativity. This doctor is from Santa Cruz though. Maybe I should try this product to shut my family up. lol 

 

Saturday night musings

Maeve: When you first moved to Carlsbad, you had no friends. You had a hard time making female friends, so you gave up on that. You became focused on meeting men to date and possibly marry. You found that difficult  as well. You applied for jobs and worked a bit, with little success. When you met Stephen you focused on your successful boyfriend who reminded you of Keith. Stephen was a chemistry major, while in college, like Keith.  But he was really nothing like Keith, now that you think about it. He pales in comparison, to be honest. But you dated Stephen until you got the marriage bug. The marriage bug eventually grew into the child-rearing bug and then it was really too late. Now you are, as they say,  “baby trapped.” Don’t look back. Don’t look around too much and compare your life/partner to others, for you will only grow bitter. You are better off focusing on your life in the present…and keep my husband out of your thoughts or we will be coming for you. Be forewarned!

Val: Yes, you are pathetically unlucky in love, unemployed, and you only made friends late in life by mere happenstance. (Not that you know what the word happenstance means) Be forewarned!

Ladies bathroom wall wisdom

 

Don’t tell anyone my password

 

Don’t buy this knockoff book

 I hate when popular authors take mental illness themes and profit over that of writers actually in the mental health community. How do people get away with this imitation crap? If you don’t have a mental illness, why are you writing about it? Mental illness/psychosis/psychological thriller? #stayinyourlane  Remember that I have a book on Amazon too titled The Voices by Danielle Flore

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0771M1KQH/ref=dbs_a_def_awm_bibl_vppi_i0

Matt: Is this a knock off of your book? It’s better written so be forewarned!

Catching up with Yusuf

I am catching up on all the great Covid quarantine videos from my heros The Doobie Brothers and Yusuf “Cat” Stevens. I don’t know who actually reads my blog and I hate to speak ill of my parents but we had differences of opinions when I was growing up. I was raised in a Conservative Catholic Republican home and I developed “hippie leanings,” as my parents would say. They wanted to stop me dead in my tracks to UC Santa Cruz, the liberal college I dreamed of attending. They wanted to build a wall. I just imagined Yusuf commenting how stifling that must of been. I was disappointed in my parents when they had a problem when Cat Stevens became Muslim and changed his name to Yusuf. They discriminated against him and turned their backs on him. I was saddened by their religious prejudice. He seems like a sweet man, a good person, and he is definitely a great musician. I just teared up listening to this beautiful song. I avoided his music for so long, trying to please my parents. On the bright side, my Dad has been voting Democratic in the last few elections. He has seen the light! 

My spirit animal

 My spirit animal says,  “What do you want now? Just let me sleep!”  Why can’t my voices be like that of my cats Millie and Cinnamon who are pure love and light?

Taking advice from someone on TikTok

 Well she seems pretty insightful so here it goes. You know how everyone has that one person they can’t get over? I am going to make a list of everything negative about my person.

1. He is married 

2. He lives too far away from me

3. He is a tease

4. He was too shy

5. His timing is terrible 

6. He can’t think for himself 

7. He is outgoing and I am an introvert 

9. He  is out of my league in looks and career 

10 He is a Leo! Nuff said.

At the Red Lobster

 Maeve: At The Red Lobster with your children? Great post! And now you are sitting back wondering how we spent our day. Well I will tell you one thing. The answer to that you won’t find on Pinterest. We don’t have children. Remember? And we like to keep our marriage hot. So, guess how we spent our Veterans Day holiday? You guessed it. We are of the in-synch mindset to keep a “Sex goals list.” We are fulfilling each other’s fantasies. That is why my husband is not creeping around Carlsbad today. He is  being satisfied by me, so eat your heart out. Be forewarned!

Val: You should really hide your daughters face because you are an embarrassment. Be forewarned!

The holidays are upon us

 https://easybudgetrecipes.com/ambrosia-salad-with-cool-whip/

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruitcake

The holidays are upon us and I am dreading it, in a way. So now I would like to vent a bit about some of my family food traditions that I have endured and would love to end permanently.

The first tradition is partaking in a side dish, which my mother loved and used to try to pass off as a healthy salad. I was a child of the 1980’s/90’s in California. I occasionally felt like my parents were trying to raise me in the 1950’s deep South which I instinctively rejected. My mother used to present Ambrosia as a healthy salad.  I just want to say that first of all, I knew all along that Ambrosia was not a healthy salad. It has the health equivalent of gummy bears lodged in chilled whipped cream/jello. Weird!

Also I would like to take the time to ruthlessly slander fruit cake. Fruit cake tastes disgusting and also is not healthy. It is the old school equivalent to gummy bears baked into sugar bread. Ick, so bad and bad for you. I really don’t want to gain 20 pounds this Christmas if I can possibly help it. Some American holiday food traditions need to be put to rest for good. No thank you to Ambrosia and Fruit cake this year, every year.

Matt: You thought that I was not going to comment on this. You were wrong. I must say that this is a stupid blog entry but no more stupid than the rest. So, we do not eat crap like this in Venezuela. We do not consume loads of hydrogenated corn syrup on the daily. That is one reason we remain so physically fit while you are so chubby. Your overall health is inferior because your waist circumference rivals that of a beached whale. You heard me. “Thar she blows.”  I might have received a little inspiration from your most feared stalker Tony Meister on that dig. Be forewarned!

Val: Matt is right. We don’t eat fattening fruit cake or nasty Ambrosia here in Venezuela. Our holiday food is divine. Not that you will ever get a taste. Have a holiday with your stale fruitcake and soggy Ambosia, while we live our best beach life. Eat your heart out that you remain on the outside looking in. Be forewarned!

I would never let $1.9 billion dollars change me!

I would never let the money change me! Who me? I bought 5 California Powerball lottery tickets today and waiting for the drawing at 7:59 pm. Woo hoo! I’m the big winner! I only wasted $5 today!

The draw has been delayed. I am going to bed and will dream of winning. I will manifest the win in my dreams. Good night!

I knew it all along!

 https://news.sky.com/story/amp/tiger-king-star-carole-baskin-is-glad-to-hear-ex-husband-is-apparently-alive-and-well-in-costa-rica-12471795

Everyone watching Tiger King believing/claiming that Carole Baskin killed her ex-husband were dead wrong! I stood alone defending her. I was right!!

This is how to Mack on an old time surfer

 Yes put this song on to set the mood. Was iit any easier to land a surfer husband in the 1950’s?

Lovemaking with you

The sea, the sand, perfect man

And then I woke up

Matt: Here’s my haikus

A cheesy haiku 

A desperate plea to Trey 

Fails you once again 

A very fat chick

Out leagued outplayed and outclassed 

Quit playing the fool

Val:  Maeve thinks your cheesy haikus are laughable. You will never have the opportunity for sex on the beach with her husband and lover Dr. Trey Sanders. Be forewarned! Once again, you can just eat your heart out!! 

*I hope my blog doesn’t offend anyone else struggling to maintain body positivity. I get encouraged to lose weight and body shamed by my father and siblings all the time. It reverberates in my brain through the voices in my head. The funny thing is I don’t think that I look half bad. These are external and internal other voices body shaming me.

Check this out!

 https://www.matthewwolfe.net/research

So today I received an email from a stranger named Matthew Wolfe. He is an esteemed writer and sociological researcher at NYU. Had I been more well-read, I might have known that already. He actually read my published article at OC87 Recovery Diaries in which I mentioned that I was considered a missing person at one point in my life. Basically my Dad called the police and reported me missing once, when I was off my meds, and disappeared for a few days. Matthew wanted to ask me a few questions and left his contact information. So I obliged and helped him with his research today. I don’t know how much help I was though. My missing persons case was closed when I got the psychiatric help that I needed. He mentions in one of his articles about “white women syndrome” and how missing white women get prompt attention and publicity. I am very glad that I came home from my excursions within a few days and my case was closed quickly. I am glad that I won’t be haunted by Missing Persons posters and news stories for the rest of my life. I wonder if anyone would have made such a public fuss about little old me? So anyway, now I am following the research of Matthew Wolfe and hopefully I helped him in some way. If he publishes any articles where he uses the material we discussed, I asked him to let me know and I will share it here.  Finding missing persons and learning more about the process of finding missing persons is a very interesting and important topic! 

The Halloween costume I should have worn

 

Happy Halloween!

 Just a mad woman with The Not-So-Mad Happy Hatter!

At close to 8 on Halloween night, I was doing some push-ups in my bathroom and I knew the voices had something to say because I started hearing an echo. They began counting my push-ups. Then Val spoke to me.

Val: Well Happy f-Ing Halloween, stupid b-! 

What an insulting end to my night because everything had gone so well up to that point.

Matt: Ha! What is insulting is how you blame your failures in life on Venezuelan witches. Venezuelans are good people. We are not witches…well maybe one or two of us are witches actively hexing you. Happy hexing witches!! Woo hoo! Great night! This is our night!! You are getting off easily as far as I am concerned, home wrecker! We talk to you. We explain our point of view about your romantic atrocities.  For our part, that is nothing. You have a lot to repent over and reform. Not that you seem to absorb and follow a word we say unfortunately. So what are you thinking of doing about Trey Sanders? You better stay away from him and our loved one Maeve. You have only seen a fraction of what we are capable of. Halloween has nothing on us! Watch us rock your world every day until the bitter end. Be forewarned!

Toxic ex lurking

I was just reading on Reddit about what to do if a toxic ex begs you to come back and then I see this toxic ex drive past me. I have a toxic ex from many many years ago in Los Angeles named Tony. I still see him driving past me in Carlsbad sometimes. Maybe it is just an awake nightmare.  I don’t know what he thinks he is doing. It’s long over between us. He was so toxic and he used to scream at me and beg me to come over for basically a late night booty call and then be mean to me the whole time. He doesn’t seem to get that I still don’t reciprocate his feelings for me. We are not “Bobby and Whitney,” like he used to say. I don’t want to be in a relationship with a toxic thug.  Stupid Tony!  Go home, scrub!!

Pictures from the Saturday before Halloween 2022

 In the top photo I tried to photograph the sunset and the moon rise in the same photo. The middle picture is just moi cheesing it up. The bottom photo is a crescent moon between two palm trees. 

Oh I saw the eskateboarder again tonight. I am going to snap a picture or video of him next time I see him. lol He’s amazing!

Awful but lawful

Maeve: Your blog is definitely “awful but lawful.” Is that a new term you learned today? Yes your blog is awful and slanderous and racist against Venezuelans in particular. You should be ashamed of yourself for blogging such nonsense. Your blog is so awful that is should be illegal and if we have anything to do with it, you will be canceled too. Your blog should be removed from Google Blogger! We protest!! We are going on strike!! Well actually not really! We will never shut up, but we despise you and despise being a part of this blog. That’s why we hex you! We hate you so we are hexing you! Be forewarned! 

Val: Are you going to a family funeral tomorrow in Dana Point? We may have had something to do with that. That’s where you will end up soon…burnt to a crisp and buried below the earth. If we had our way, that is where you would be already. One by one, you will watch your closest family members drop dead in the near future. Wait and see what the future holds for you and those closest to you, on account of us. Psyche! We are not killers. That is just another racist trope in your writing here. But we certainly wouldn’t mind seeing you suffer as you have wreaked havoc in our lives. We hex you to have the darkest weekend culminating in an even darker Halloween, courtesy of the Dark Arts.. Be forewarned!

Matt: Don’t forget about the man who introduced us and caused you so much chaos and desperation. He will be celebrating Halloween in a couples costume with Maeve. It will be a very sexy surprise outfit at their annual Halloween bash in Santa Cruz. Too bad that you are not invited as you are neither his friend nor wife. You are merely his deluded stalker. We hex you to stay in Carlsbad and away from our happy family! The consequences of traveling up to Aptos and crashing our Halloween party will be “grave.” Be forewarned!

I saw a guy on a skateboard who looked like MCA

I saw a guy on a skateboard who looked like MCA  on my hot girl walk today. lol 

Matteo: Tell me more about the men who want to espouse you…the crème de la crème of men, if you will. If it’s not surfing doctors stalking you, it’s John Frusciante or some other aging rock star looking at you as a muse or good luck.  And who was that creeper riding his electric skateboard up your street so effortlessly today? He looked like MCA from The Beastie Boys but maybe taller lol. Is he courting you as he skates past you or is he simply riding by? Maybe he wants to be the subject of your next cheesy haiku? Maybe he is already in love with you? Maybe you are delusional? Yeah right, you are “definitely delusional,”so be forewarned!

Maeve: Why are you so full of yourself? You wish my surfing doctor husband was in Carlsbad driving past you. Keep dreaming! You are three times my size and way too over the hill for him! You could never compete with me! You would have better luck with your local skateboarder guy.  Maybe you can woo him by blasting your totally cool 80’s music. Maybe not! Attempting to lure my husband away from me has only brought you misunderstandings and hexing. Maybe you should wait for this new fresh meat guy to make the first move on you.  You could skate off into the sunset with him! You will be waiting a long time for him! I hex you to live the remainder of your life as a single cat lady! You will only see my husband in your dreams and this skater will eventually skate on by. Sorry, not sorry! Be forewarned!

I felt a tremor last night!

 https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2022/10/25/us/san-jose-california-earthquake/index.html

I was lying in bed last night alone and felt an earthquake! Was the earthquake that I felt last night just a premonition of the earthquake that was to take place in San Jose later in the day? I really felt an earthquake last night. It rocked me awake! I am a million miles away from you but I am with you in spirit, babe! Stay safe from those crazy Northern California earthquakes!

Happy Halloween!

 I am coming for you!!

At least he’s honest

 That’s all they want 😢 

My aura

 

Hexing the Phillies

So the San Diego Padres lost to the Phillies today knocking them out of the Finals. This picture represents how I am feeling about it. Check out my ripped Halloween costume. I hex the Phillies to lose their next game! 

I feel that it is possible that someone put a binding spell on me, as I am not experiencing much progress in my life and have had a bit of bad luck. I looked up reverse hex and binding spell today and this article popped up. Very interesting!

https://www.cultivatemagick.com/how-to-freeze-and-bind-the-actions-of-another/

More importantly I am hexing Kanye West and all the white supremists!!

Matt: Stupid bitch! So you are hexing yourself then?! Fuck, you are so fake! You’re no better! You and your Karen-ish ways are the reason we moved back to Venezuela! What with you calling the police on us and all! Now we can practice Santeria in peace! We hate you so we are hexing you…from Venezuela! Be forewarned!

Plane ✈️ following me around

I was not hallucinating. I have photographic proof! There was a plane following me around on my walk today. I live very close to Palomar Airport, so I have creepers following me around all the time.

Maeve: A day of drinking followed by a day of heightened paranoia. Go figure! You should be ashamed of yourself for continuing to drink while treating your schizoaffective disorder! No wonder you are hallucinating today…and you brag about your drinking on your Google Blogger account? You are so stupid and lost in a haze. Next you are going to suggest that it is my happily married husband who is following you around. Don’t even go there today, tramp!! My husband is here next to me in our bed in Santa Cruz… so eat your heart out! Be forewarned!

La Especial Norte

 Good food, fun, and Purple Cadillac Margaritas!

Blonde Blending in California

I hate it when people 

From the other 49 states

Worship, follow, emulate, migrate

To California 

Because you are a shade of blonde 

You assume that you will fit right in here

Wrong! You are just a poser

Shmoozing with other blonde wannabes

You are living so shallow

Summer is over anyway 

Time for the tourists to go home 

I know that I will catch hell for this. I grew up considering myself a Native Californian. But who uses the term Native Californian anymore? I am as Native as Maeve. Well actually going back to my original point, I am 100% California born and bred, unlike that brat.

Just kidding! Don’t punish me by having some beautiful & romantic vow renewal or by having a baby together. Please!! Hope to see you around Carlsbad soon!

Val:  Stupid bitch! We hate you so we are hexing you! 

Maeve: Well I am here in California now! You do not and you will not see the “real” Trey Sanders in Carlsbad. You see imposters of men who look vaguely like him, but are a fraction of the man I married. You made the biggest mistake of your life running away from him. Fortunately, your loss was my gain. We are happily wed now and we will remain so until the day we die! We are two beautiful beach blondes fated together for eternity. So you can just kiss my California blonde ass! Be forewarned!

I’m just interested in…

I’m just interested in…hanging out with my cat.  Anyone want to see another picture with me and my cat Cinnamon?

I have been so busy today that I forgot it was the anniversary of my mother’s death. No wonder I was so stressed and depressed today!

No really my title here is a quote from The Beastie Boys, “Check Your Head.” I’m just interested in the BBoys so f- you my man. I am feeling disgusting and disappointed in Kanye West and his antisemitism.

I must be a complete idiot

Flirting is strutting past me in your body hugging wetsuit carrying your surfboard and checking me out/smiling at me. I am definitely naïve if it never occurred to me that he has done this to other women. My sister Marisa ran this past me once. Maybe Keith was just flirting for the sake of flirting and there was no serious intention behind it. We never ended up together so my sister is probably right. His poor wife is the one who has to deal with him flirting with other women and apparently that is cheating whether or not it progresses from there. You can’t trust him anywhere from the beach to his work. Women love surfing doctors. It doesn’t get any better than that. I would be hexing other women too if he was my husband. He’s just too damn cute…too perfect!!

You are perfect

 I can relate!!

I remember this time

 I went off my meds in 2013. You came to spy on me in Carlsbad (in your wetsuit holding your surfboard) and I thought to myself…”This is it! He has come to rescue me from my imperfect life!”  I was fine. I had a beautiful family and children to raise. What was I thinking? I started trying to lose weight in order to compete with your wife and to look good for you. That started in 2013 actually. We are no closer today to ending up together than we were back then. I did look cute here though with my anchor tee. I am the anchor of my family. Never been sailing and probably never will. Enjoy your sailboat though ⛵️!

Praying for the Padres

 Last time the San Diego Padres lost to the LA Dodgers I made the mistake of screaming “Viva Los Doyers!” right before the game. I am not doing that tonight because I am rooting for the Padres and want them to win. I hex the Dodgers to lose. Viva Los San Diego Padres!! Saint Francis is next to me in this picture. The spirit of St Francis pray for us San Diego Padres & fans!

Val: You are from Los Angeles and no one likes you in San Diego anyway so who cares who wins. I hope your team loses. I hex the Padres to lose and I am a witch.  I know what I am doing! You and your team are going down tonight. Be forewarned!

Val: It’s not a nail biter when you could care less who wins. You don’t fit in anywhere. Why are you expending so much energy to support the Padres over the Dodgers? You watching the end of this game will do nothing to secure a win for your team. You are not a good luck charm! I am hexing the Padres now! Watch the tides turn and your team ultimately lose this game. Be forewarned!

Me: Beat LA! I have lived in San Diego since 1999. I don’t have any animosity towards LA. I am just rooting for my team! Beat LA! It looks like we are going to win!!

 

Me: Yea!! Exciting on many levels!!

Val: We have mixed emotions about this win. I repeat that you are not a good luck charm. We lived in San Diego for many years. We still consider ourselves San Diegans. We are happy for them. You, however, are now and will always be a loser. Be forewarned!

Friday night: what just happened?

Matt: Ha ha! So, You saw a public transit bus drive past you today with demonic laughter bellowing from it? Well the jokes on you!  That was no prank from one Trey Sanders. That was not Santeria either. You were merely hallucinating, as usual. Meanwhile Trey is on a luxury vacation with his wife in rockin’ Northern  California. His exact location is unknown or at least we are not telling you where he is, as you would likely crash their “vacation/love fest.” You need to get a life of your own! Be forewarned!

Maeve: Have you noticed that Trey is not in Carlsbad? Also, Have you been envying our many exquisite vacations? Well envy away because we are on another sexy sailing adventure somewhere between Santa Cruz and Monterrey. We are celebrating our anniversary with friends on our sailboat. You can be quite sure that you will never get a taste of the sailing life. You are too old to learn how to sail and we all hate you. There’s no room on our sailboat for you. Wake up! You can just kiss my ass, as Trey would never leave me for you. I don’t need Santeria love potions or silly witchcraft rituals to keep him either. I’m “hot” and I am a devoted lover, who is full of surprises. Trey is definitely not interested in a romantic relationship with you. Get that through your head. It will never come to pass! Be forewarned!

It’s probably for the best

Maybe it’s for the best that we never got married 

Absolutely no one is jealous of my life and for who I married 

Although sometimes I wonder if I am wrong about that 

Look at it this way

I spared you from my toxic family who are mostly off their rockers

No one will ever make you feel less than or different because of your partial Jewish ancestry 

No one will ever pressure you to convert to Catholicism 

You won’t be left responsible for my children 

Personally, for me, the single life is not so bad 

I have the company of my children 

I have the company of my cats

I have made a few nice friends here in Carlsbad 

I will always think of you and reminisce though 

Always 

I wish you and your wife the best truly

I am happy that you are happy 

Enjoy your life!

My haircut

Val: She got a haircut. We should hex her new haircut. She cut off her dead ends. We should hex her remaining hair to die an ugly death too. We should have hexed her hairdresser for an unsteady hand and a mysterious new cough to appear during Danielle’s haircut. The only reason we have not hexed your hairdresser is because she is Latina. We have mixed emotions about her. We are surprised that you have chosen such a strong Latina for your hairdresser, as you appear to fear us so much. You have been reading the stories about Giselle Bundchen and how she is a witch. I can tell you with great certainty that she really is a witch but no one cares. Do not get your hopes up that anyone is listening to your story. Do not get your hopes up that anyone will come for us to put a stop to our hexes. No one will ever stop us from practicing our witchcraft. Be forewarned!